Quote:
Originally Posted by TBobLP
What do y'all do in this spot?
My partner obviously wants to know when I have plans out of town/generally likes to know what I'm doing in life.
I go to a 12 hour car race for a week, every year.
I know that she doesn't give a **** about car racing.
If I don't invite her (just tell her that I'm going), I get the response you would expect.
When I did invite her I got chastised for liking "cars going in circles" (its not a circle!), not knowing her, and putting car racing before our relationship.
Even my therapist is kind of confused, so obviously I turn to POG.
"i love you! and i love watching cars going around in circles! i know the car watching isn't your thing, understandably. how would you like to handle this? for me, i feel like a good solution is once a year i just go watch it. come with me if you want! if you don't want to, that's ok too.
and to be clear i'd never choose car racing over you. it's something i like to have in my life in addition to all the love i get from me choosing to spend so much time with you because i love you.
and im sorry if you hate how much i love car racing. i'm not perfect. we all have our flaws. i know it's kind of silly to go spend a week watching the cars race, but it's something that makes me happy. and the happier i am, the better partner i can be to you.
what do you think?"
and maybe even invite her to a therapy session, and she can explain her views to you and the therapist. maybe even just feeling listened to will help her