South Korea

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holy **** how on earth did this fall to me here?

Culinary lore holds that there are three great cuisines in this world. And somehow I've managed to draft two of them (French being the third).

The heart of one of the great empires for centuries, a country where a market for spices is one of the main tourist attractions, where East and West have been meeting to trade and eat and drink for as long as we have been trading and eating and drinking. Let's get the elephant in the room out of the way first - the kebabs. Yes, they're freaking excellent, fresh, flavourful, and well-spiced. Iskender kebab in particular (sliced spiced lamb topped with tomato sauce, yoghurt and melted butter, all on top of sliced toasted pita) is one of those things that you'll eat once and then come back for a hundred times. But there's so much more there.

What else do we have? How about balik ekmek, an Istanbul speciality that is just the best ****ing fish sandwich you'll ever eat? Lahmacun is a delicious spicy pizza/wrap hybrid. I don't know what it's called, or why it was so delicious, but when we were in Turkey one chef whipped up something mainly consisting of kale and eggs for my wife, and she was so blown away with it that I've had to suffer through a lot of attempts to recapture the magic back in the UK (it doesn't work). Fresh olives, sheep's cheese, fish and meat show up in countless dishes, with the natural bounty of the mediterranean constantly enhanced by the rich spicing.

And of course there's as good a range of meze dishes as you'll see anywhere in the Middle East, with particular specialities being dolma (vegetables stuffed with rice and herbs), kofte (lamb meatballs), and borek (cheesey pastry goodness).

Desserts are outstanding, tending towards the subtly perfumed, with fruit flavours, spices, rosewater and honey being the common tastes. Baklava in particular is pure indulgence, and goes down beautifully with a cup of strong Turkish coffee or tea. But if you left the tent without trying some authentic Turkish delight, or some milky, soothing muhallebi, you'd be missing out.

**** raki though

that **** is nasty

Philippines