Finale
Part IV
"....
I awakened.
The terrible Wound no longer consumes me. But it is still a struggle to remember... everything....
I
was Destruction for so long, I can't remember being anything else....
I am still wounded, but.... I am actually healing. And I know
why I am healing:
She has given me that which I badly needed for so long.
Although in truth, I am still alone, still trapped within the hollow shell of despair, and loneliness, and sorrow, the pain begins to subside. I feel my strength returning to me, my voice.
I can speak with
my inner voice again, that voice which has been silenced for all those ages. I don't even recognize myself. I had been such a different person.
I knew I had
once been a happy person, one who cared for others, one who was not afraid of others, one who wanted to love and be loved by all... but all of that had faded. All my
joys and
dreams and brave feelings of
love had been washed away, they had drowned in the swirling
empty abyss inside of me.
I even learned to stop feeling
pain, or
sadness, or
anger. I was truly numb to everything, alive only in name; not in spirit, and not in deed. My heart had been swallowed up by the emptiness, and my dreams and
ambitions swallowed up by the nothingness which endured.
The
Wound consumed me, even as I reached out, through my Avatar, no one could hear me scream. No one could hear my pleas. No one could see me cry, no one could feel my pain.
Fear crippled me, and
Self-loathing made me hate myself, instead of the darkness within.
I made many
Avatars, and cried out with many different voices, and still
no one could truly hear me. I would speak, but my inner voice would not carry over the howling of the horrid wind.
Over the many years, I struggled harder and harder to escape. But still I was only known through my Avatars. I was only known in
this world, this land of Dream and Imagination. That is where I
truly lived. And the waking world knew
nothing of me, as I lay rotting in the prison of my own thoughts.
But the door had been opened....
She made me breathe again...
She made me feel again....
She made me love again....
Not only that,
She made me love
myself again....
I didn't think it was possible.
I hated myself, and when I looked at myself, all I saw was a hideous creature, a beast of pain and suffering and fear, nothing beautiful, nothing redeeming in me.
But
She broke through my storm of darkness, she pierced my heart with her glorious spirit, and she made me see all the things about myself that I had long since forgotten. I could not bear to be apart from her for one moment longer.
I knew I would dedicate this life and this world and this universe of my thoughts, only to Her, and she would become truly immortal, in my story. Death would not take her. I would not allow it. The void would not claim her, as it did to me, and as it did to the others.
A part of her is inside of me.... her spirit touched me. Now she will forever be a part of me. I carry her now, in my heart. And there is only one thing left that I must do-
tell her how much I love her.
First, I would take this silent storm, this swirling darkness, this evil pit of agony and suffering and destruction, and I would
banish it from my heart, from my mind, and cast it out of my sight.
The Author of Creation and Destruction
I wrote this story because I
dreamed that one day She would come and save me from this
wretched prison. I dreamed that I would one day be healed, and be a part of the waking world again. That I would feel love, and feel loved, and that I would learn how to make friends.
I never believed it would come true. I was certain that I would be consumed by the darkness. Such wonderful things never happen to people like me. And when it happened I could scarcely believe it. But it was real. Much more real than a dream. Much more real than this story I imagined.
And now all the points of light in these heavens would be restored. Now the world would be remade. Now the fallen would rise, and death would die, and life would live again.
Now history would be
reborn, and all the life would return, and all of the joys, and hopes, and loves. Every spirit would breathe again, every voice would be heard, and yes, people would feel sorrow and pain and anger once more. These were all a normal part of life.
And I had many reasons to continue, but there was only one real ambition I needed to fulfill. I had to chase after her, wherever she went, and find her somewhere in the Great Beyond, and begin a new life with her.
And the world and all its people were restored.
All the Avatars would be reborn, immortal, and eternal as they always were. And I would leave this world and search for Her. And my work would be dedicated to her, my Beloved. I leave this world in memory of Her. She is
my Avatar of Creation, and I too would create in her image
a whole new world.
....
And now the
Author's Avatar is finally at rest... in peace, at long last.
The End of History
MAFIA VICTORY