Rape is pretty freely used within the gaming community as a synonym for getting crushed/crushing. I've personally said "Yeah I got totally raped" many many times if someone 'owned' me'.
Outside of this community, understandably considering demographics, it's not as widely used, so assuming this was a younger male I really don't think the guy meant anything by it and honestly it's not in the least bit a sexist comment, even if inappropriate.
The first one is absurd, didn't know people like that existed in real life and surprised they didn't get a warning from the floor - there has to be some kind of rules of conduct no? Idk I dont play live poker much.
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Originally Posted by Ship It Or Bust
Last weekend I was sitting next to a young guy at the table. He was busily texting back-and-forth with a (professional) girl he'd met earlier in the evening.
At one point while he was in a big hand with several players, he said out loud "Hey guys, let me win this pot. I need money to pay for some p***y later!" While he was in no way trying to offend me, I turned to look at him and say "Hey, there's a girl here!"
Instantly he was apologetic and shame-faced. He kept saying "Sorry, sorry, ohmygosh I'm so sorry!" Basically he had forgotten that a woman was right there next to him at the table. I wasn't bothered by his comment, but at the same time I wanted him to be aware of who he MAY have been offending. I can't say I've seen anything outrageous like what the OP described. But if I did, I'd try to handle it gracefully. If that didn't work, then I'd be sure to say something scathing to the guy in question and put him in his place. I don't care how big of a fish you are, rape is nothing to joke about. If you have no problems joking about rape, then I have no problems getting you thrown out of the room.
Guy sounds like a gigantic ******, but I'd have more respect for him if he did say that knowing you were present, because at least then he's a somewhat honest ******.
Also, the way the guy used the word 'rape', he clearly wasn't making a joke out of it... I think intent matters a lot and even if you can quite easily argue that he shouldn't use it in this setting, it still doesnt mean he was 'joking about rape'.
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No one uses rape to mean anything other than a violent sexual assault anymore, whatever the original meaning of the word might have been. Claiming, even in a joking fashion, that anything that happens at the poker table is in anyway similar is offensive to many.
Right and wrong at the same time I guess... Obviously the original 'pillage, sack, plunder' meaning is long gone, but as I said, the way its used within the gaming community it has somewhat lost its sexual connotation (within this specific context) to this group of people. Same with "gay bet" in poker (or in gaming for that matter); if you hear that word are you seriously thinking even for a second of homosexuality? Because within this context the first thing that comes to mind is someone betting 1/8 pot on the river or getting c/minraised on a paired board.
Doesn't mean it should be carried out into public life, people should ideally be capable of judging where something may or may not be appropriate, but it does change intent, which matters.
I really don't want to come off as belittling the power of this word, especially to someone who has had to endure its meaning, and I've actually re-written this post several times just because it's just something that I can't really fully... I don't know what word to use here - imagine? Understand? I'm reasonably certain I'd try to kill whoever did it, but I have a hard time imagining the actual feelings involved, so I feel vaguely... clumsy/un-entitled to discuss this.
Last edited by TianYuan; 02-14-2013 at 10:58 PM.