DUMB RULE #1 " 3 pairs"

3 pairs beat 2 pairs... DUH!
Call me old fashioned but 3 is more than 2 in my book.
Going counterfeit is something somebody made-up..it doesn't exist because i have 3 pairs!

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DUMB RULE #2 " Two trips"

KK vs. 89

flop 89k
turn 8
river 9

kkk99 beats 99988 right ?

WRONG! 999888 beats kkk99 because he has TWO TRIPS !
Two trips beats a full house

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DUMB RULE #3 "Poor man's straight"

This is for when nobody has a pair
A3579 and 2468T are poor man's straights

a 3 5 7 9 beats ace high
2 4 6 8 10 beats a 3 5 7 9
pocket 2's beat a poor man's straight

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DUMB RULE #4 "Overtime"

There is no push. Cards continue to be dealt until there is a winner.
Dealers will not like this rule... well, suck it up buttercup.
Would you rather be stirring hot tar on a roof installing roof shingles? That's what I thought now keep dealing.

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To be continued...

(Also i invented a game called Zombie Poker i will explain in another thread but i want a cut of the rake if you play it because i hereby declare a trademark and patent pending and stuff)

You realize that for the first rule changes you could just turn "best 5 cards win" into "best 6 cards win"?

#3 is called "skip straight". There are games that use alternate straights, like that one or "round the corner straights". I've never heard of a game where one pair beats one of those alternate straights though. That sounds pretty stupid. Hand rankings should still be done based on likelihood of the hand.

I've heard it called a Kangaroo Straight.

Norman Chad called; he wants his sense of humor back

Sounds like you might like Pai Gow Poker as a casino table game. That three pair is a really good hand there.

#4 is illegal and will get the casino fined.

Alternative to #4: there are no splits except playing the board, because it goes Spades > Hearts > Diamonds > Clubs. Both players with AKo on A9876 no flush possible? The A with the better suit wins anyway.
You could even beat someone in a spot you'd think means you're playing the board. AAAAKc on board, you have the Ks, you beat the board and win with the absolute nuts.