Mayo,

How did you not have any terminal leave?

Mayo, should Hillary blow an intern to win over the male vote?

...I thought they used Mirages for the MIGs? Mayo?

Mayo, do you take pride in Kentucky's cultural heritage, in general? Appalachia, country music, etc.

...and KFC? I, for one, ****ing love KFC! Any relations to the Colonel?

It sure is pretty.

I've never really had any serious incidents. Well, other than this:

One summer when I was five years old, I was playing around unsupervised in a house that was under construction. There was a big ol' hole in the floor through which cement had been poured into the basement. I stepped around this hole so that I might look out the window, then forgot about it, took a step back, and fell about 12 feet.

I remember falling very distinctly. As I was falling, I looked over to the right, noticed that a temporary ladder was suspended into the basement without touching the floor, and I thought that was interesting. I was way more focused on that than on trying to break my fall. So I didn't, and I hit the cement floor directly with my spine and the back of my head. I blacked out.

My sister, who was all of seven years old, probably saved my life. She saw me fall and ran to get my father, who carried me up that interesting temporary suspended ladder, threw me in the car, and raced to the ER. A favorite bit of family folklore is that during this, my sister looked at the speedometer, grew very concerned, and said "Daddy, you're speeding!"

Anyway, we made it to the ER, and the doctors were really worried about me. I was in and out of consciousness for quite a long time, and the doctors were worried I could slip into a coma or die. I didn't, and eventually went home and got better. But I don't remember any of this. I don't remember being at the hospital. I don't remember recovering. I don't remember any pain, though my mother tells me that I was in excruciating pain. This period of my life is just a complete blank space in my memory, as is EVERY SINGLE THING BEFORE THE FALL. My earliest memory is of the ~30 seconds preceding the fall, and the fall itself.

Before that, I have absolutely nothing. My whole life up through that summer, we had lived in a small house, and I do not remember it at all. People show me pictures from inside it, and it doesn't trigger anything at all. It's like the fall literally knocked those memories out of my head. I once talked to a neurologist who told me that that's not really possible, and that it's not uncommon for adults to not remember anything before age five. But my memory of the pre-fall and fall is sooooo vivid, and before that is nothing, and it was followed by the sharpest blow to my skull I have ever received. It seems like quite a strange coincidence. But, as I understand it, there are tons of unanswered questions about how memories are formed, especially in young children. If I had it to do over again, I would have very much liked to go into brain science. It's endlessly fascinating, and breakthroughs are happening all the time. I could have been a part of that! Instead, here I am at 4:00pm on a Wednesday talking to you people and watching "New Girl" on MTV.

Incidentally, this story is my go-to rebuttal whenever idiots say things like "Kids don't need bike helmets/seatbelts/lead-free paint/babysitters. *I* got through *my* childhood just fine." I hate that ****.

Other than that, the worst pain was probably when a horse stepped on my foot at age 10 or so. Maybe a 6/10 on the pain scale, but about a 14/10 on the ten-year-old pain scale.

I had about 45 days, but I sold them back instead of taking terminal leave. Made a little more money imo.

I don't think that would work.

They used MiGs. That movie was a documentary of our nation's greatest heroes.

Some of it, but not all. Appalachia is beautiful. I like old country music and bluegrass. UK basketball is great. We're the birthplace of Abraham Lincoln (That's good!) and Jefferson Davis (That's bad!). But I hate horse racing, bourbon, moonshine, latent racism, Islamaphobia, a horrible school system, and the University of Louisville. It's kind of a mixed bag.

****in' A, baby. KFC4LIFE.

When I was a high school senior, I got to do a student exchange thing and live with two families in Hong Kong. Everyone I would meet would ask me what state I was from. But generally the only states they knew were New York and California. "What state are you from?" "Kentucky." "Oh." "Like Kentucky Fried Chicken." "Oh, KFC! We love KFC!"

But, treasonously, I think that Raising Cane's chicken is better than KFC's, and Popeye's biscuits are better than KFC's.

I am not related to Colonel Harland Sanders, sadly. I am, however, also a member of the Honorable Order of the Kentucky Colonels. I honestly don't remember what I did to earn the honor. Frankly, I do so much awesome **** that it's difficult to keep track of it all.

I'm with you on the last part, but wouldn't your specific story then advocate for having kids wear helmets all the time?

Yes.

Mayo, are pacifists really rare?

Kinda.

There are all kinds of shades of things. Some guy who's a "noninterventionist" and is generally skeptical of the U.S. bombing people might be called a pacifist, though he would never use that word to describe himself. I'm thinking specifically of the Rand Pauls of the world, here. Similarly, there are the hardcore types who will not use violence even to defend themselves or others. Those are much rarer.

Pacifism is fairly rare in USA#1. There's this pervasive belief that pacifism is only for loser pussy hippie types. It's viewed as a character defect. A sign of cowardice. I don't agree with that, obviously. But it's very widely held.

Still, it seems to me that more and more people are realizing that we can't just bomb our way to peace, and there seems to be more willingness to try negotiation and diplomacy.* The Iran Deal is not great, but it's better than a war with Iran, and people seem to understand that in a way that they wouldn't have 10 years ago. I don't have stats on this, it's all very gut-level impressions, which can easily be wrong. But I really think that after a dozen years of expensive and deadly wars in Iraq and Afghanistan that did nothing other than beget ISIS and its allies, people are willing to Give Peace A Chance.

*Note that this is a super partisan issue, and the preceding applies exclusively to Democrats. Republicans are becoming far more war-crazy. This article does a lot to explain why this is so.

Mayo,

Can we get your take on last nights debate?

Almost forgot to ask about this - so you actually are a Kentucky Colonel?

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/mi...sted&t=1551527

I'm going to make clam linguini with a white wine sauce for dinner tonight, any advice?

Interesting article, Adelson is really old though and maybe every new generation of rich donors is less extreme than the previous one. But even though people become more friendly to gay people, woman and people of other races, they always seem equally willing to go to war

I'm going to need to see some proof of this before I believe it.

Like, a non-death certificate or something.

I wish I hadn't watched it.

Because of my delay answering, this has surely gone bad by now, so I'd order a pizza.

I made it anyway and it turned out fantastic, so basically thanks for nothing.

Mayo,

How are you holding up after stepping down from your 4L overlordship?

Who is your favorite 4L poster? Fav thread?

Mayo,

When a gentleman thanks you for your service would you rather kiss them or kick them in the balls?

Mayo,

What's the best hot sauce that's not Tabasco?

Mayo,

thoughts on the war on Christmas?

Solid bump. I'm glad you all are turning to me in this crucial hour.

Somehow, I am finding the strength to carry on. Every day's a struggle, though.

My favorite 4L poster? **** if I know. I don't read that ****ing cesspool.
Favorite thread? Jesus Christ, are you ****ting me??

Why does it have to be a man? That's very gender normative of you. As an enlightened progressive citizen of earth, I am just as willing to kick a gentleman in the balls as I am willing to kick a lady in the balls.

But when someone says "Thank you for your service," I just say "Oh, thank you, sir/ma'am." It is awkward to answer a thank you with a thank you, but it seems better than hittin' 'em with a you're welcome.

As a person named after mayonnaise, the blandest condiment, it might not shock you to hear that I don't have strong thoughts on this question.

I'm on #TeamSecularism, and we're winning convincingly, which I love. The whole thing is so damn stupid. Who gives a **** if the cashier at the MegaLoMart says "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays?" No one sane, that's who. The only people who complain are the kind of bull**** perennially aggrieved *******s who make all Christians look bad. These douchebags are only happy when they're complaining about the persecution of Christianity and making martyrs of themselves because the city council put up a menorah next to the nativity scene. **** 'em.

And even if people say "Christmas" instead of "Holidays," #TeamSecularism is *still* winning. Christmas in the U.S. is a secular holiday. Santa Claus, Christmas trees, cookies, presents, snow, Rudolph, stockings, Charlie Brown, and It's a Wonderful Life are all secular things that have nothing to do with religion. The only religious justification for any of this is the fact that Jesus was born. The only religious aspects of the modern observance are things like nativity scenes, midnight mass, and Christmas carols.

The point is this: I ****ing hate the Mike Huckabee crowd, and I'm so happy that they are losing on all their dumb social issues.

Mayo, what percentage of the Libertarian party's "standard" platform do you agree with? What are the biggest sticking points you have with their platform?

Oh yeah, Rectify is the ****.