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Petition to create an 'Ask Mayo' sub forum in politics. Petition to create an 'Ask Mayo' sub forum in politics.

09-06-2015 , 05:15 PM
Mayo

How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernible abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.
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09-06-2015 , 10:36 PM
Mayo,

What is the newest musical group or solo performer that you love? What is the best way to fold fitted sheets? If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
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09-07-2015 , 01:34 AM
Mayo, is mandating that McDonald's pay their unskilled workers 15 bucks an hour a good idea? How can they keep selling their Sausage McMuffins for $1?
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09-07-2015 , 05:54 AM
Mayo, why have you abandoned us?
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09-07-2015 , 01:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphismus
Mayo,

I'm afraid that "Rectify" is in fact very different from "Rick and Morty". What do you have to say to that?
Agree to disagree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Majik1973
Who are the three hottest (in order of fappage ) female newscasters?


Quote:
Originally Posted by fatkid
Mayo,

Is MinusEV a weasely little crouton? What do you think compels him to answer question in YOUR thread? What will happen now that the space-time continuum has been disrupted?
The Mayo thread is a place of joy with room for all. He may answer questions at his leisure, though his answers should not be considered official Mayo-approved responses.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Majik1973
My god, this thread is a smashing success!! Your vast knowledge on every conceivable topic is welcomed by all with open arms and hungry minds. The difference that you have made in peoples lives is immeasurable.

Now that you are a confirmed internet sensation, are you finding it difficult to remain humble?

But the real question is, what is next for Mayo? Will you cash in on your new found popularity and expand your wealth of knowledge to the twittersphere, start an advice column, host your own radio show, or even replace that "not a real doctor" douche Dr. Phil?
I've been an internet sensation for damn near a decade. It's hard to be humble. I be gangsta yo.

I'm thinking of running for Congress in 2016.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jmitchell42
he be gangsta yo.
See?

Quote:
Originally Posted by gregorio
In Canada in the late 80s, a populist, smaller government, social (Christian) conservative movement broke away from the main conservative party, the Progressive Conservative Party, to form the Reform Party. After a few elections, they realized that by splitting the right wing vote, neither party would ever win a federal election. They merged, and by that point the Reform Party was the stronger of the parties, so the new Conservative Party took on the values of the Reform party, shifting the mainstream Right further right than it had ever been.

What's the chance the Tea Party would ever split from the Republican party?
'Bout +350.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2/325Falcon
I'd like to hear more about Rick and Morty.
Sure!

Aden Young stars in "Rectify" as the recently freed Daniel Holden, and he is one of the all-time great TV characters. The show is very coy about definitively answering the question of whether or not Daniel really did rape and kill a teenager, but there is never any doubt that he feels oppressive guilt about her death. He sees the world very differently than others do, and he unquestionably has a dark streak within him. An incident with his stepbrother Teddy puts this into sharp focus. He is aggressively soft-spoken, polite, sentimental, and deferential, yet his world almost unanimously wishes he were dead. And he seems to agree with that sentiment. And yet, he is unquestionably thrilled to simply be alive and walking around as a free man.

Seriously, watch this show.

Quote:
Originally Posted by David Sklansky
Three problems with this.

1. I extrapolated from some other pretty good stuff besides poker theory. (Statewide awards etc. that I need not get into.)

2. Poker isn't that narrow a field compared to lets say chess. Besides the ability to logically deduce and see the future like you have in chess, there is also probability, not in chess, and trying to get into your opponents head, again almost non existent in chess. So there is a bigger correlation between poker and life than you are implying.

3. I actually only pipe in on a subject when I think I found a flaw in someone's thinking or have come up with something from a different angle. I don't pick subjects because they interest me and I don't think I know a lot about a lot of things. It only might seem that way because people make reasoning errors in many different fields and even if the field is not something I know much about (eg stealing second base) if their reasoning error is general enough that I feel certain enough to call them on it that certainty comes through in my posts.
Can you rephrase this in the form of a question?

Quote:
Originally Posted by diebitter
Mayo

How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernible abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.
'Bout tree fiddy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fatkid
Mayo,

What is the newest musical group or solo performer that you love? What is the best way to fold fitted sheets? If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
If we're very restrictive on definingt "love," it's gotta be Wilco (formed 1994). If we are much looser and allow me to pick someone I just really like, it's Fun (formed 2008). I worked security at the iHeartRadio show in Vegas in 2013 and had a front row seat to a zillion of the biggest modern radio acts (Katy Perry, Justin Timberlake, Bruno Mars, etc.), and Fun was the best by far. I was highly impressed, and their music is catchy as all get out.

They did "Somebody to Love" with the surviving members of Queen, and it was great. Especially since I was standing there on the rail about six feet from Brian May and trying to pretend that I was actually doing security things and not just geeking out about being so close to a soloing Brian May. That was cool.



Folding fitted sheets is a fool's errand. Just take them out of the dryer and put them directly on the bed. What's so hard about that?

I would not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kioshk
Mayo, is mandating that McDonald's pay their unskilled workers 15 bucks an hour a good idea? How can they keep selling their Sausage McMuffins for $1?
It seems to be working OK in places where those laws have been passed. IDK.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.mmmKay
Mayo, why have you abandoned us?
So I said to the Lord, "You promised me, Lord,
That if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
There have only been one set of prints in the sand.
Why, When I have needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints
Is when I carried you."
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09-07-2015 , 01:55 PM
Mayo,

can anyone own a cat?
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09-07-2015 , 02:12 PM
Sky Blue Sky Sandwiches names all of their sandwiches after Wilco songs. Which one would you order? http://sbssandwiches.com/signature-sandwiches/
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09-07-2015 , 03:05 PM
Mayo,

if you ruled the world, would you free all your sons?
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09-07-2015 , 05:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Majik1973
What can be done to address California's drought problem? How about it's Kardashian problem?
lol
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09-07-2015 , 06:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayo
Quote:
Originally Posted by Majik1973
Who are the three hottest (in order of fappage ) female newscasters?
jenna lee
jenna lee
jenna lee
.
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09-08-2015 , 09:12 AM
Mayo,

Nlh or plo?

Ribeye or filet?

Brownie or cookie?

I'd ask bourbon or scotch, but any self respecting male from ky would only answer one way
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09-08-2015 , 10:58 AM
What are you gonna do when Hulkamania comes down on you?
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09-08-2015 , 12:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Majik1973
What can be done to address California's drought problem? How about it's Kardashian problem?
I apologize for missing this question before.

Droughts can be solved by making it rain more. Seems like a no-brainer. Alternately, you could not have 50 million people live in the middle of the ****ing desert.

Kardashians are more pernicious. But the overall answer is to stop watching and caring about these ****ing people. Stop watching TV. Stop reading InTouch magazine. We have only ourselves to blame.

Quote:
Originally Posted by diebitter
Mayo,

can anyone own a cat?
No.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gregorio
Sky Blue Sky Sandwiches names all of their sandwiches after Wilco songs. Which one would you order? http://sbssandwiches.com/signature-sandwiches/
I wouldn't order any of this ****. This is too clever by half. They're sandwiches. You don't need a niche gimmick like this. Just make a good sandwich. That's all you need. I'm sure that these each cost about double what they should, just because of all the bull**** hipster-y trappings.

Of the songs listed, my favorite is probably "I'm Always In Love."



Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphismus
Mayo,

if you ruled the world, would you free all your sons?
I have no son.

Quote:
Originally Posted by +rep_lol
Mayo,

Nlh or plo?

Ribeye or filet?

Brownie or cookie?

I'd ask bourbon or scotch, but any self respecting male from ky would only answer one way
NLH. Only thing I've ever played.

Ribeye. More bang for the buck imo.

Brownie. I don't like almonds and **** in my brownies. A brownie right out of the oven is warm and gooey and soft and delectable, and I don't need any crunchy stuff intruding on that.

I have never in my life had a single sip of bourbon or scotch. True story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Terry "Hulk" Hogan
What are you gonna do when Hulkamania comes down on you?
I don't know, brother.
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09-08-2015 , 01:39 PM
brother, i was prepared to give you a medal of honor, but then i saw you offered up some information about your drinking habits (or lack thereof), which leads me to my next question-

are you a fraud, like actually from amish country but just moved to KY?

which leads me to my next question-

do you enjoy sex with farm animals?
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09-08-2015 , 01:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScreaminAsian
jenna lee.
I can't be bothered with 24 hr news channels but I must say, Fox has a cougarlicious line up.
Petition to create an 'Ask Mayo' sub forum in politics. Quote
09-08-2015 , 01:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by +rep_lol
brother, i was prepared to give you a medal of honor, but then i saw you offered up some information about your drinking habits (or lack thereof), which leads me to my next question-

are you a fraud, like actually from amish country but just moved to KY?

which leads me to my next question-

do you enjoy sex with farm animals?
Not a fraud. Born and raised in central Kentucky.

I've never engaged in such.
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09-08-2015 , 03:18 PM
Kentucky woman:

If she get to know you,
is she goin' to own you?
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09-09-2015 , 08:17 PM
Mayo,

If I couldn't get you finer things like all of them diamond rings bitches KILL FOR would you STILL ROLL?
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09-10-2015 , 10:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayo
Not a fraud. Born and raised in central Kentucky.

I've never engaged in such.
Then you know how to make moonshine?
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09-10-2015 , 11:21 AM
Mayo,

is the Kentucky Derby really decadent and depraved?
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09-11-2015 , 03:36 AM
Mayo,


is waffle and chicken an acceptable combination
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09-11-2015 , 04:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by R*R
Kentucky woman:

If she get to know you,
is she goin' to own you?
Sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fatkid
Mayo,

If I couldn't get you finer things like all of them diamond rings bitches KILL FOR would you STILL ROLL?
Sure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by herbertstemple
Then you know how to make moonshine?
Nope.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphismus
Mayo,

is the Kentucky Derby really decadent and depraved?
Yep.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.mmmKay
Mayo,


is waffle and chicken an acceptable combination
It is. However, chicken and pancakes is not.

My last USAF assignment was at Creech Air Force Base, about an hour outside of Vegas. It's across the highway from the tiny town of Indian Springs, and there ain't nothin' around, except for the Indian Springs Casino/motel/gas station/trailer park.

There was a little restaurant in the casino, and its specialty was chicken and pancakes. My coworkers had a tradition of eating lunch there on Fridays, but in my year there I spent most of my time on night shift and thus never partook. But one Friday last September, it was my very last day in the Air Force, and I finished my final paperwork around lunchtime. So I went and had one last meal with all my coworkers at the Indian Springs Casino. Naturally, I had the chicken and pancakes.

There was merriment, goodbyes, stories, well-wishes, and some hugs. The pancakes were delicious, and the chicken was pretty good. All too soon, everyone had to get back to work. My Air Force career might have been over, but theirs continued apace. With one final wave, they went back to base, and I silently drove back toward the shimmering city of Las Vegas and my nearly empty apartment. I opened the door, took off my uniform for the very last time, and started to realize that I was a civilian again. It was bittersweet to say the least.

But it was time to move on! Now that the U.S. Federal Government was done with me, it was time to leave Nevada behind, cram the rest of my stuff into my 2009 Chevy Aveo, and make the 2,000 mile drive back to my old Kentucky home. I went to bed really early that night, planning to be on the road by oh-five-hundred-hours. No, wait. I'm a civilian now. I don't mean 0500. I mean 5:00 A.M. Just the first of a hundred small and big and necessary changes in attitude that have given me trouble over the next year. I slept fitfully.

0400 arrived. Or, rather, 4:00 A.M. arrived. The alarm blared. BEEP BEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEP forever and ever and ever. I found the snooze button, jammed it, and sat up in the bed. I didn't feel well. A headache. I'm not ashamed to admit that I had cried a bit the night before, and headaches often accompany the tears. Sadness causes physical pain. I was not concerned. I climbed out of the bed to face the day.

And immediately had a wave of dizziness that, in a very literal way, knocked me off my feet. Whoa. I landed right back on the bed. That was new. That couldn't be explained away as a side effect of the snifflies. Something was wrong. Time to take stock. What's that? Am I - yes I am. I'm about to hurl. To the bathroom!

I did not get on the road at 0500 that day. Nor even at 5:00 A.M. I spent that whole damn Saturday lying in bed, puking until there was nothing left to puke and then dry heaving after that. Sunday was spent in much the same way. The weekend gave me plenty of opportunity to ruefully consider the fact that this was the sickest I'd been in years, and it occurred the day after I lost access to full comprehensive medical treatment for free. Them's the breaks. Physical pain causes sadness.

By Monday morning, I was feeling somewhat better and began my cross country trip. I also called my (former) office to handle some business that I've long since forgotten, at which point I found out that I was not the only one who had spent their weekend retching into a bucket. It was the damn chicken and pancakes! Several of us had gotten food poisoning from the ****ing Indian Springs Casino.

About two weeks later, the Air Force bought that casino and shut it down for unrelated reasons. And now you know... the rest of the story. Good day.
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09-11-2015 , 03:38 PM
Mayo,

I think the F-22 is the best looking fighter aircraft ever. Thoughts?
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09-11-2015 , 07:43 PM
I always liked the "MIGs" in Top Gun which were actually F-5s
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09-11-2015 , 08:39 PM
Mayo,

Besides the raw casino chicken incident, what the worst physical pain you have ever felt and what caused it?
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