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Old 04-28-2010, 01:31 PM   #2401
KungFuNinja
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I was talking to a casino dealer and he was telling me that there is no such thing as a professional poker player and that there was nothing professional about the professionals, they just won a big tournament once or twice by getting lucky and won the title. I wanted to slap him but it's easier to just agree.
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Old 04-28-2010, 01:31 PM   #2402
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

i tell every1 i play poker n wear my pokerstars top alot. girls think its really hot when you tell them you play poker.
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Old 04-28-2010, 01:36 PM   #2403
imfromsweden
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Fish View Post
I'll preface by saying it up front: tl;dr

I used to play professionally, now am more of a rec player who still puts in about 20 hours a week online at at the occasional casino. I made the mistake of telling ONE person that I played poker professionally (about 3 years ago), and it pretty much has trickled down to just about every person at the company, but it seems like a new person finds out every other day. Here is a summary of EVERY conversation I have had with someone who just found out I play/played poker:

Them: Hey? I just heard from <insert name here> that you play poker professionally

Me: I used to, not anymore (WTF do you think I am sitting in this office????????)

Them: I love watching it on TV. Were you ever on TV?

Me: Yes.

Them: Have I seen you on TV?

Me: I don't know. You tell me. The screen only works one way.

Them: Do you know <insert name of their good friend who plays at a local casino and once cashed in a tournament for $3.50>

Me: No. Do you know Brian Smith?

Them: No...who's that.

Me: My best friend from elementary school.

Them: Have you played in the WSOP?

Me: Yes.

Them: That's amazing. I want to play. I can't believe you shelled out so much money to play in a tournament!
---
Me: <old answer> I don't. I always satellite into big tournaments.

Them: How do you do that?

Me: <explain how satellites work> <Then explain again> <Then break out flow charts> <me realizing I just wasted 10 minutes of my life I will never get back> This is always followed by them saying that:

Them: I am going to do that!

---

Me: <new answer> Think of it as a business expense.

---

Them: What is the biggest pot you ever won?

Me: I dunno. somewhere around $10k.

Them: Wow. What is the biggest pot you ever lost?

Me: I dunno. Somewhere around $10k.

Them: Wow. That's alot of money. <Insert bad beat story where they tell me how they had AA and lost a hand one time>

Me: Wow. That has never happened to me before.

Them: Do you know any famous poker players?

Me: Yes.

Them: Who?

Me: Do you know who Izmet Fakali is?

Them: No.

Me: I know him. (*ed note: I do not know Izmet)

Them: Why did you give it up?

Me: (choose one: ) Wife wanted a house and it is hard to get a loan as a professional gambler; wanted to make sure I had stability for new baby; I was too happy playing poker and wife wanted me to become more miserable; went broke staking TJ Cloutier at craps.

Them: Do you still play?

Me: Yes

Them: How much do you make?

Me: More than I make here.

Them: Do you play online?

Me: Yes.

Them: How do you get your money? /Aren't you worried it is rigged? /Isn't that illegal?/ How do you know that every other play isn't cheating? / Do you play for real money? / How can you tell when people are bluffing? / I play online to for fake money and have made 100000000000000000 dollars...should I play for real?

Me: Yes, you should.

Them: My friend plays online and he says it is a lot of fun. Are you better than him?

Me: I don't know him, but yes.

Them: We should play some time so you can teach me.

Me: Coaching is $150/ hour.

Them: What?

Me: Sure that would be fun.

Them: How did you learn how to play?

Me: Studying WPT final tables on TV and writing down advice given by Vince Van Patten.

Them: We should have drinks some day...I'd love to hear more about this!

Me: Yeah. That would be great. But I also like shoving toothpicks in my eyes for laughs.

Them: Hey...if I gave you $50 could you run it up for me?

Me: Why don't you give me $50 and we'll see what happens.

Them: Will you double it?

Me: Probably not. Hard to double it in a bar.

Them: Well I better get back to work. Will chat soon, okay!

Me: Where's my $50?
LOL

You might come off as somewhat douche if you answer like that IRL tho
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Old 04-28-2010, 01:37 PM   #2404
Ra_Z_Boy
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ohudac View Post
Bank Teller Lady: Where is this check from?
Me: Canada, I think.
Bank Teller Lady: Do you work there?
Me: No, I play poker online.
Bank Teller Lady: Don't you know that's gambling?
This is why love living in Ireland. Check says Pokerstars on it, deposit, teller says oh you play poker? Thats awesome.
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Old 04-28-2010, 01:49 PM   #2405
streityboy
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Fish View Post
I'll preface by saying it up front: tl;dr

I used to play professionally, now am more of a rec player who still puts in about 20 hours a week online at at the occasional casino. I made the mistake of telling ONE person that I played poker professionally (about 3 years ago), and it pretty much has trickled down to just about every person at the company, but it seems like a new person finds out every other day. Here is a summary of EVERY conversation I have had with someone who just found out I play/played poker:

Them: Hey? I just heard from <insert name here> that you play poker professionally

Me: I used to, not anymore (WTF do you think I am sitting in this office????????)

Them: I love watching it on TV. Were you ever on TV?

Me: Yes.

Them: Have I seen you on TV?

Me: I don't know. You tell me. The screen only works one way.

Them: Do you know <insert name of their good friend who plays at a local casino and once cashed in a tournament for $3.50>

Me: No. Do you know Brian Smith?

Them: No...who's that.

Me: My best friend from elementary school.

Them: Have you played in the WSOP?

Me: Yes.

Them: That's amazing. I want to play. I can't believe you shelled out so much money to play in a tournament!
---
Me: <old answer> I don't. I always satellite into big tournaments.

Them: How do you do that?

Me: <explain how satellites work> <Then explain again> <Then break out flow charts> <me realizing I just wasted 10 minutes of my life I will never get back> This is always followed by them saying that:

Them: I am going to do that!

---

Me: <new answer> Think of it as a business expense.

---

Them: What is the biggest pot you ever won?

Me: I dunno. somewhere around $10k.

Them: Wow. What is the biggest pot you ever lost?

Me: I dunno. Somewhere around $10k.

Them: Wow. That's alot of money. <Insert bad beat story where they tell me how they had AA and lost a hand one time>

Me: Wow. That has never happened to me before.

Them: Do you know any famous poker players?

Me: Yes.

Them: Who?

Me: Do you know who Izmet Fakali is?

Them: No.

Me: I know him. (*ed note: I do not know Izmet)

Them: Why did you give it up?

Me: (choose one: ) Wife wanted a house and it is hard to get a loan as a professional gambler; wanted to make sure I had stability for new baby; I was too happy playing poker and wife wanted me to become more miserable; went broke staking TJ Cloutier at craps.

Them: Do you still play?

Me: Yes

Them: How much do you make?

Me: More than I make here.

Them: Do you play online?

Me: Yes.

Them: How do you get your money? /Aren't you worried it is rigged? /Isn't that illegal?/ How do you know that every other play isn't cheating? / Do you play for real money? / How can you tell when people are bluffing? / I play online to for fake money and have made 100000000000000000 dollars...should I play for real?

Me: Yes, you should.

Them: My friend plays online and he says it is a lot of fun. Are you better than him?

Me: I don't know him, but yes.

Them: We should play some time so you can teach me.

Me: Coaching is $150/ hour.

Them: What?

Me: Sure that would be fun.

Them: How did you learn how to play?

Me: Studying WPT final tables on TV and writing down advice given by Vince Van Patten.

Them: We should have drinks some day...I'd love to hear more about this!

Me: Yeah. That would be great. But I also like shoving toothpicks in my eyes for laughs.

Them: Hey...if I gave you $50 could you run it up for me?

Me: Why don't you give me $50 and we'll see what happens.

Them: Will you double it?

Me: Probably not. Hard to double it in a bar.

Them: Well I better get back to work. Will chat soon, okay!

Me: Where's my $50?
1.So what is your FAVOURITE hand in NLHoldem?
2.Do you think online poker is rigged? I played for a few months last year. Couldn't seem to win online at all at any site...every goddamn site I play on I lose all the time. How do YOU win if it is rigged?
3.Have you ever played with....oh what's his name....that coloured fella..... Phil somebody....Phil Ivey....that's it Phil Ivey....have you ever played with him?
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Old 04-28-2010, 02:30 PM   #2406
vaz1981
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Fish View Post
Them: Why did you give it up?

Me: (choose one: ) Wife wanted a house and it is hard to get a loan as a professional gambler; wanted to make sure I had stability for new baby; I was too happy playing poker and wife wanted me to become more miserable; went broke staking TJ Cloutier at craps.
HAHHAHA!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Fish View Post
Them: How did you learn how to play?

Me: Studying WPT final tables on TV and writing down advice given by Vince Van Patten.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA!!!!
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Old 04-28-2010, 02:35 PM   #2407
phishman
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackgerbil1 View Post
i tell every1 i play poker n wear my pokerstars top alot. girls think its really hot when you tell them you play poker.
nice minraise otf
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Old 04-28-2010, 02:38 PM   #2408
Screaming It
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RobFarha View Post
I explained to my father how the money gets handled on the internet and cashouts etc..

Him: Ok, so they mail you a check if you withdraw it, but how did you put money on the website in the first place?

I whipped out a 20 dollar bill and put it into the disc drive and then hit the close button.

He got a kick out of that
I lol'd
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Old 04-28-2010, 02:55 PM   #2409
KurtSF
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by King Fish View Post
I'll preface by saying it up front: tl;dr

I used to play professionally, now am more of a rec player who still puts in about 20 hours a week online at at the occasional casino. I made the mistake of telling ONE person that I played poker professionally (about 3 years ago), and it pretty much has trickled down to just about every person at the company, but it seems like a new person finds out every other day. Here is a summary of EVERY conversation I have had with someone who just found out I play/played poker:

Them: Hey? I just heard from <insert name here> that you play poker professionally

Me: I used to, not anymore (WTF do you think I am sitting in this office????????)

Them: I love watching it on TV. Were you ever on TV?

Me: Yes.

Them: Have I seen you on TV?

Me: I don't know. You tell me. The screen only works one way.

Them: Do you know <insert name of their good friend who plays at a local casino and once cashed in a tournament for $3.50>

Me: No. Do you know Brian Smith?

Them: No...who's that.

Me: My best friend from elementary school.

Them: Have you played in the WSOP?

Me: Yes.

Them: That's amazing. I want to play. I can't believe you shelled out so much money to play in a tournament!
---
Me: <old answer> I don't. I always satellite into big tournaments.

Them: How do you do that?

Me: <explain how satellites work> <Then explain again> <Then break out flow charts> <me realizing I just wasted 10 minutes of my life I will never get back> This is always followed by them saying that:

Them: I am going to do that!

---

Me: <new answer> Think of it as a business expense.

---

Them: What is the biggest pot you ever won?

Me: I dunno. somewhere around $10k.

Them: Wow. What is the biggest pot you ever lost?

Me: I dunno. Somewhere around $10k.

Them: Wow. That's alot of money. <Insert bad beat story where they tell me how they had AA and lost a hand one time>

Me: Wow. That has never happened to me before.

Them: Do you know any famous poker players?

Me: Yes.

Them: Who?

Me: Do you know who Izmet Fakali is?

Them: No.

Me: I know him. (*ed note: I do not know Izmet)

Them: Why did you give it up?

Me: (choose one: ) Wife wanted a house and it is hard to get a loan as a professional gambler; wanted to make sure I had stability for new baby; I was too happy playing poker and wife wanted me to become more miserable; went broke staking TJ Cloutier at craps.

Them: Do you still play?

Me: Yes

Them: How much do you make?

Me: More than I make here.

Them: Do you play online?

Me: Yes.

Them: How do you get your money? /Aren't you worried it is rigged? /Isn't that illegal?/ How do you know that every other play isn't cheating? / Do you play for real money? / How can you tell when people are bluffing? / I play online to for fake money and have made 100000000000000000 dollars...should I play for real?

Me: Yes, you should.

Them: My friend plays online and he says it is a lot of fun. Are you better than him?

Me: I don't know him, but yes.

Them: We should play some time so you can teach me.

Me: Coaching is $150/ hour.

Them: What?

Me: Sure that would be fun.

Them: How did you learn how to play?

Me: Studying WPT final tables on TV and writing down advice given by Vince Van Patten.

Them: We should have drinks some day...I'd love to hear more about this!

Me: Yeah. That would be great. But I also like shoving toothpicks in my eyes for laughs.

Them: Hey...if I gave you $50 could you run it up for me?

Me: Why don't you give me $50 and we'll see what happens.

Them: Will you double it?

Me: Probably not. Hard to double it in a bar.

Them: Well I better get back to work. Will chat soon, okay!

Me: Where's my $50?
This started good, and ended GREAT. lol nh
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Old 04-28-2010, 03:02 PM   #2410
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackgerbil1 View Post
i tell every1 i play poker n wear my pokerstars top alot. girls think its really hot when you tell them you play poker.
until they find out your hourly is actually less that that of McDonalds.
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Old 04-28-2010, 04:50 PM   #2411
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by StoneRoses View Post
until they find out your hourly is actually less that that of McDonalds.
But at McD's you pay taxes on your earnings.
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Old 04-28-2010, 05:44 PM   #2412
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by flop_da_kapooriyas View Post
But at McD's you pay taxes on your earnings.
You're supposed to on your poker earnings too (assuming you live in the US). Income is income.
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Old 04-28-2010, 06:01 PM   #2413
deuceofspade
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Awesome topic

I don't play that much or play high stakes, but one time I mentioned a hand to a friend (mistake) and said that I had a read on him and called it down with a very marginal hand to win the pot

No matter what I said he didn't believe you could have "a read" on someone because it was online and you couldn't see him.
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Old 04-28-2010, 06:51 PM   #2414
bacats32
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackgerbil1 View Post
i tell every1 i play poker n wear my pokerstars top alot. girls think its really hot when you tell them you play poker.
12 yr olds love you brignin in dem dimes huh bra!!!
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Old 04-28-2010, 07:20 PM   #2415
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Thumbs up Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DMoogle View Post
You're supposed to on your poker earnings too (assuming you live in the US). Income is income.
Confirmed no taxes.
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Old 04-28-2010, 07:32 PM   #2416
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RikaKazak View Post
I was at a house party once....girl overheard I played poker for a living...I was like F ME another boring night of explaining how you can actually make money playing poker

BUT turns out she's from Las Vegas and her dad has been playing poker for a living for over 20 years ...we talk it up...get to know eachother..and that night I got a drunken bj ....best random hook up of my life
BOOYAKA
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Old 04-28-2010, 11:11 PM   #2417
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

you should show them your video on youtube.they'll think thats hot.

Last edited by FENTANYLREHAB; 04-28-2010 at 11:11 PM. Reason: talking to blackgerbil1
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Old 04-28-2010, 11:47 PM   #2418
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RobFarha View Post
I explained to my father how the money gets handled on the internet and cashouts etc..

Him: Ok, so they mail you a check if you withdraw it, but how did you put money on the website in the first place?

I whipped out a 20 dollar bill and put it into the disc drive and then hit the close button.

He got a kick out of that
The image of this is hilarious. Best post on this thread for sure.
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Old 04-29-2010, 05:03 AM   #2419
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KungFuNinja View Post
I was talking to a casino dealer and he was telling me that there is no such thing as a professional poker player and that there was nothing professional about the professionals, they just won a big tournament once or twice by getting lucky and won the title. I wanted to slap him but it's easier to just agree.
He's probably not a million miles wrong
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Old 04-29-2010, 08:22 AM   #2420
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

yep, so true everyone in my college says hey you going home too play poker, its not so bad though because i have alot of irl friends that play online poker and understand it most of them do because i got them into it.
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Old 05-01-2010, 03:27 AM   #2421
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by flop_da_kapooriyas View Post
But at McD's you pay taxes on your earnings.
Advocating tax evasion is not allowed in these forums, and posts like this walk pretty close to that line.
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Old 05-01-2010, 10:22 AM   #2422
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Thumbs up Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poker Clif View Post
Advocating tax evasion is not allowed in these forums, and posts like this walk pretty close to that line.
lol
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Old 05-01-2010, 10:45 AM   #2423
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

pretty sure we dont all live in countries where the government wants tax on our poker winnings
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Old 05-01-2010, 12:25 PM   #2424
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poker Clif View Post
Advocating tax evasion is not allowed in these forums, and posts like this walk pretty close to that line.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daleroxxu View Post
pretty sure we dont all live in countries where the government wants tax on our poker winnings
the OP in ?, he is from one of said countries that does want tax monies.
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Old 05-04-2010, 05:14 PM   #2425
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Took me like a week to read and finish this thread and it is EPIC!
I got my own little story. So I came back from college and my mom saw that I was playing poker online. We were planning a trip to vegas and the convsersation went something like this:

Mom: So are you going to play poker in Vegas?
Me: Of course.
Mom: I don't think you should. I don't want you to go all-in and lose your life savings.
Me: The max buyin $200. I can't lose more than that in a hand.
Mom: Why don't you just play slots or blackjack. You seemed to be very good at those last time.
Me: (facepalm)
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