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Old 08-25-2006, 01:50 PM   #126
Mossberg
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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I think you all need to spend a small fraction of your bankroll on a sick watch (or somethin' shiny) and to keep your wardrobe updated with some fresh gear.. If people see you lookin' clean and know you don't work, they will know what the [censored] is up..

If they ask a question about your income, you say "look at me", kinda throw your head back and walk away with an A.C Slater type of strut..

Okay?
Result:

Mom on phone w/ Police Officer: Hello, I think my son is dealing drugs. What should I do?
LOL @ the thought of doing this to a family member..
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:21 PM   #127
AntonHeat
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

This thread is GOLD! Thanks OP
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:24 PM   #128
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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WOW EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD NEEDS TO CALM THE [censored] DOWN AND BE HAPPY SOMEONE CARES ENOUGH TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR JOB. CAN YOU GUYS HONESTLY SAY YOU KNEW HOW POKER WORKED BEFORE YOU GOT INTO IT EITHER?
Amazing you play trivial pursuit? WHEN AM I GOING TO SEE YOU ON JEPOARDY, LOL

Amazing, you are a plumber? I tried to fix my plumbing once with a hacksaw and rust exploded in my eye and I had to go to the hospital. Can you believe my bad luck?

Amazing, you are a tax lawyer? If I give you my tax returns, can you do them for me?

Amazing, you are a doctor? I have been getting bluish-green patches on my taint whenever I have sex with dead people...can you help me with that?
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:30 PM   #129
KingNeo
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

I just tell people I own a couple of internet companies.
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:32 PM   #130
Gildwulf
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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I just tell people I own a couple of internet companies.
yea

they are called

"3/6nlglaxosmithwesson"

"midstakeslimitotron"

"donkaments incorporated"

SHIP ITTTT
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:35 PM   #131
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.


Amazing, you are a doctor? I have been getting bluish-green patches on my taint whenever I have sex with dead people...can you help me with that?

[/quote]


OMFG.... can't stop laughing
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:37 PM   #132
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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"donkaments incorporated"
Awesome.
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:42 PM   #133
Eulysses
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

This thread is comedy gold.
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:43 PM   #134
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

We need more threads like this.
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:47 PM   #135
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

This thread and the "what's running bad to you" thread are some of BBVs finer moments.
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:47 PM   #136
Chump Change
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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WOW EVERYONE IN THIS THREAD NEEDS TO CALM THE [censored] DOWN AND BE HAPPY SOMEONE CARES ENOUGH TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR JOB. CAN YOU GUYS HONESTLY SAY YOU KNEW HOW POKER WORKED BEFORE YOU GOT INTO IT EITHER?
Amazing you play trivial pursuit? WHEN AM I GOING TO SEE YOU ON JEPOARDY, LOL

Amazing, you are a plumber? I tried to fix my plumbing once with a hacksaw and rust exploded in my eye and I had to go to the hospital. Can you believe my bad luck?

Amazing, you are a tax lawyer? If I give you my tax returns, can you do them for me?

Amazing, you are a doctor? I have been getting bluish-green patches on my taint whenever I have sex with dead people...can you help me with that?
Zeebowned, obv.
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Old 08-25-2006, 03:01 PM   #137
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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People always want to learn how to do it too or the cliche... "Hey man, what if I give you $300 of my money for you to double it, can you do that?"
Good God I can't tell you how many times I hear that phrase and every time I do I die a little inside.
whats the best response to this? everyone i know says this including family and friends
Yes, I can double your $300 and I'll guarnatee it. My fee is $700 BTW.

As for being called a poker addict, I just remind them this addiction is making me money, as opposed to my old addiction: heroin.
Usually followed by awkward silence, but occasinly someone realises I'm joking and actually laughs.
i'm gonna use this one lol
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Old 08-25-2006, 03:23 PM   #138
KurtSF
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

That's it! I will never tell anyone I play poker again!

Thanks in advance to everyone who posted in this thread.
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Old 08-25-2006, 03:35 PM   #139
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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9) So would you say overall, you are up or down money?

people that know i only play poker still ask me this
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Old 08-25-2006, 03:39 PM   #140
Anders
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

Today I got "I guess it wouldnt make sense for me to play against you, so I will tell you my strategy. I always play two-seven because if you flop two pair or better nobody will expect it"

I said "uhhh yeah I guess that works sometimes"
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Old 08-25-2006, 03:40 PM   #141
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

"I always play low cards, because alot of people don't play those cards so there are more left in the deck"
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Old 08-25-2006, 03:54 PM   #142
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Amazing you play trivial pursuit? WHEN AM I GOING TO SEE YOU ON JEPOARDY, LOL

Amazing, you are a plumber? I tried to fix my plumbing once with a hacksaw and rust exploded in my eye and I had to go to the hospital. Can you believe my bad luck?

Amazing, you are a tax lawyer? If I give you my tax returns, can you do them for me?

Amazing, you are a doctor? I have been getting bluish-green patches on my taint whenever I have sex with dead people...can you help me with that?
A lot of doctors I know are constantly hounded by people for medical advice or try to discuss their health problems or whatever. I think it would be a horrible job to have to talk about with clueless idiots.
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Old 08-25-2006, 03:56 PM   #143
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

Try being knowledgable with computers. Anyone time you step in to anyone's house...
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Old 08-25-2006, 04:03 PM   #144
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Try being knowledgable with computers. Anyone time you step in to anyone's house...
Try being a poker playing computer guy. I can't have any conversations about what I do for 14 hours a day without wanting to kill myself. I don't have much to say.
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Old 08-25-2006, 04:06 PM   #145
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

I have dinner at in-laws house every couple of months or so. Every single time, my father-in-law and I have the following conversation:

Father-in-law: "You still playing poker?"

Me: "Yep."

Father-in-law: "People are really getting in trouble with credit cards and online gambling."

Me: "Yeah, some people have."

Father-in-law: "I watch poker on t.v. It really all comes down to luck you know."

Me: "So, what's for dinner?"
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Old 08-25-2006, 04:11 PM   #146
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Try being knowledgable with computers. Anyone time you step in to anyone's house...
Try being a poker playing computer guy. I can't have any conversations about what I do for 14 hours a day without wanting to kill myself. I don't have much to say.
Yep that is me. Something my wife's boss recently asked was essentially this:
Them: "Which parts from these old, broken computers should we combine to form one working computer that would be the sole location for tons of important files."

Me: "..."
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Old 08-25-2006, 04:13 PM   #147
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

My Mom had flashbacks to my father blowing thousands shooting craps back in the day.

Was really hard to get her to stop carping on it.
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Old 08-25-2006, 04:14 PM   #148
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

i bet you actually do get dumb questions like that if you are a doctor
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Old 08-25-2006, 04:20 PM   #149
Colt McCoy
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

Try doing it like this.

Quote:
Father-in-law: "You still playing poker?"

Me: "Yep."

Father-in-law: "People are really getting in trouble with credit cards and online gambling."

Me: "Yeah, I know. That's what allows me to support your daughter's insane spending habits."
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Old 08-25-2006, 04:21 PM   #150
Gildwulf
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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i bet you actually do get dumb questions like that if you are a doctor
my dad is a doctor and everyone asks him dumb [censored]...
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