OMG, I started laughing uncontrollably about 2/3 of the way through. I nearly woke my wife trying to hold it in.

I've been playing for about a year (had stretches of months with no play 65k hands life time) and I'm break even but I really suck. BR management is the shiznit. It sucks to move down when you learn you are underrolled for 25NL or 50NL (LOL) but it is easier to shrug off beats when you know you have a proper roll.

I sometimes explain something about poker to my wife but I stop as soon as I notice her eye glazing over (e.g. 30 seconds into my explanation). I have nobody IRL I can talk poker to, just 2p2 on the interwebz

Lovely.

****ing hilarious! - coffee spit onto keyboard......


- " I may have to get King Niche from BBV to come and lay a smack down on your busto ass"

good bump

this is so awesome

is there any way to get this video to youtube ? then it would be possible to embed link it at places that support youtube

I loled

So I get excited to talk to poker with people.. one day I was explaining pot odds vs implied odds in NLHE to a friend. When excited about something I usually shake my leg.. his gf looks at me and starts to whisper to her bf that I'm some adict... "see he's even shaking"

FML

Them: What's the most you ever had online?
Me: 40k
Them: Wow big shot bla bla bla
Me: I only cashed out 5k though.
Them: OMG YOU LOST 35K
Me: No I made 4600, started with 400.
Them: BUT YOU LOST 35 GRAND WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
Me: I dont know, search my name on google and look at 2+2, they'll tell ya.

i had a few friends who dont normally gamble over to play poker because they wanted to. as a habit i always shuffle chips when they are in front of me, they thought this meant that i was addicted

fwiw they are probably right

hilarious.

yea all those people say online poker is rigged, then i tell them it's variance but i cant tell between riggedness and variance either...

lol this is awesome

LOL, this is hilarious, I used to do the same talking poker talk with freinds but gave up quickly.

i agree with the results orientated thing. feel like hitting some of my friends sometimes when i talk say something like, got to the final table of a tournament but got really unlucky.

Friend: looks like your not good enough to win
Me: but i was ahead ever time i went all in
Friend: but you lost
Me: not talking about this anymore cos you are a muppet
Friend: not my fault you cant play poker
Me:. Fack off and make me a cup of tea

LMAO, i get this at the table in Pub Poker. They chip up after calling a raise with 10/3s hitting trip 10s. Then they say something like "Theres something you dont know about poker" coz thats calling 3x raises preflop with 10/3...

Also I have never lost money playing poker. But whenever I explain to my mum that I won 200 bucks at the casino(low limits), or I won 100 dollars online my mum says "how much did you lose at casino?" or "like your ever going to see that online money"

"You just won $8,000?"

"No, it's tournament chips."

"So, you just bet $950?"

"No moran, it's tournament chips."

Why the **** is it so hard for ppl to understand the diff between cash/tourneys?

i **** you not he signs back on today right after this


Full Tilt Poker Game #10878300549: $65,000 Guarantee (80765476), Table 33 - 80/160 - No Limit Hold'em - 21:50:27 ET - 2009/02/27
Seat 1: gregp1126 (5,704)
Seat 2: her ghost (2,610)
Seat 3: boNeZee (3,652)
Seat 4: geburs (5,362)
Seat 6: Papa Nutz (8,390)
Seat 7: DallasRounder (7,760)
Seat 8: wh0kly (7,382)
Seat 9: ckhim82 (6,170)
Papa Nutz posts the small blind of 80
DallasRounder posts the big blind of 160
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to her ghost [9h 9d]
wh0kly folds
ckhim82 raises to 320
gregp1126 calls 320
her ghost has 15 seconds left to act
her ghost raises to 2,610, and is all in
boNeZee folds
geburs folds
Papa Nutz folds
DallasRounder folds
Brandon Adams sits down
Brandon Adams adds 10,420
ckhim82 folds
gregp1126 calls 2,290
her ghost shows [9h 9d]
gregp1126 shows [Qh Jc]
*** FLOP *** [5h 5d 3s]
*** TURN *** [5h 5d 3s] [3d]
*** RIVER *** [5h 5d 3s 3d] [Qc]
her ghost shows two pair, Nines and Fives
gregp1126 shows two pair, Queens and Fives
gregp1126 wins the pot (5,780) with two pair, Queens and Fives
her ghost stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 5,780 | Rake 0
Board: [5h 5d 3s 3d Qc]
Seat 1: gregp1126 showed [Qh Jc] and won (5,780) with two pair, Queens and Fives
Seat 2: her ghost showed [9h 9d] and lost with two pair, Nines and Fives
Seat 3: boNeZee didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: geburs (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Papa Nutz (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 7: DallasRounder (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 8: wh0kly didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: ckhim82 folded before the Flop

i didnt say a word

Then they actually google my name.

them: WTF why did you tell mark vos his tell?
me: idk I was pissed off maybe I didnt care
them: do you think he's cute or something
me: STFU

this thread needs a bump

Terrible conversations i have had...

"so how much do u bet at one time"
wat

"i could kick your ass at poker, i got a royal flush the last time i played"

"i play poker too"
"oh yeah? where?"
"mostly facebook and stuff, but its rigged so that only one person wins all the chips"

"You play poker?"
"yes.(please let it end here)"
"Man, you gotta be careful with that ****"
"....yea..."
"seriously you could lose everything"
"yea.."

Hahaha this one is awesome.

So obv thing to do is just not talk poker with people that don't know poker. The only ****ty thing about that is that they think it means you lose, and that's why you don't want to talk about it. But f em imo.. If they're too dumb to realize I wouldn't put time and effort in a losing proposition they're too dumb to be my friends. I basically tell my good friends that I play, that I take maney and try to leave it at that. I try never to bring it up, and if they ask I answer as short as possible Seems to work fine for now

Or these idiots think you are some degenerate who has a gambling problem!

Whenever poker comes up I just try and stay under the radar cause usually the comments consist of "oh your addicted to gambling" "it's all about luck" "<insert some bad beat story>" "<random hand> is my favorite hand because I always win with it" "oh yeah? whats the most youve ever lost?". After awhile I just stopped even saying anything when it came up or when someone points out I play I just say yeah just for fun once a week or something along those lines.

"you turned $5 in $10,000?!?! Dude take that out right now and start over from $5 again, if you don't you are just ******ed"