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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 01-16-2008, 10:44 AM   #601
ShippityDooDah
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

In all honesty, I wouldn't want to talk poker with half of the posters in this thread. The other half I <3 dearly.

FWIW, if you don't answer the question of how much you won, you likely will never get the "but how much did you lose". Although on the rare occasions it comes up I usually laugh because of how cliche it is. Was playing live while tagging along on my gf's business trip and told her how my session went and a coworker overheard and interjected with our beloved donk question. I nearly spit out my drink. All my close non-poker friends are familiar with it too so it's always a good laugh when the person who says it doesn't understand what's so funny.

Nonetheless as many have pointed out we don't go asking how much other people's bonuses/raises/salaries were so they shouldn't ask us how much we made last night/month/year. Nor do I think we should volunteer that info when they ask - even if the result is sure to impress them. Of course I'm not rude and point out this when people ask me, I simply say I'm running good.

The gf and parents insist many of these people making conversation are truly interested and possibly jealous. In fact they have asked me to be a little more accommodating when they're friends ask me about it after learning about it from them. I typically just told people that my gf/parents were exaggerating and that I was really just in between jobs, working at home, etc. But the gf/parents have on occasion let it leak that I'm making more with cards than at my previous desk job and when forced to actually engage in conversation these threads sharing stories make an otherwise unbearable conversation pretty hilarious.

For instance, an excited former co-worker asked if he could officially say he knows a pro card player. He said he thought maybe, but since I wasn't on tv he didn't think so. So he inquired with me if he could possibly call me "semi-pro" or a "pro-am". lol wtf. I was dying inside. I told him that he was unfortunately correct and that saying I was a pro would be false since I haven't been on tv and if he really wanted to stretch it he could only call me a tax-basis pro since it's now my primary income. As someone else mentioned, these people aren't merely poker donks, they're donks at life.

Last edited by ShippityDooDah; 01-16-2008 at 10:53 AM.
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Old 01-16-2008, 11:05 AM   #602
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I went out for drinks and wings last night with some friends, all of who are super supportive of my poker playing (one said jokingly 'professional poker player is the new rock star'). Anyways, one of them was like "I thought I saw you on the TV the other day for this Pokerstars tournament representing Canada" (I think this is the freeroll thing on Stars where you win an entry to represent your country and first prize is like a tuna sandwich). Another interjected 'ohhh man I can't wait to see you on tv someday! That's when I know you'll have really made it'. I just laughed and nodded.

Key footnotes that I did not mention:
-I don't play tourneys anymore and haven't for like 8 months
-I certainly don't play crappy freerolls
-Will probably never be on TV and thus am a failure at poker
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Old 01-16-2008, 11:25 AM   #603
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Took the day off work today feeling bit under the weather and decided to fire up a bit of NL100 on FT.
My mum walks in.

Mum: Hmm. I hope you're not wasting loads of money on that?

Me: No, Look at my database here. I've won $744.55 in 1122 hands (ok so I'm new to cash games)

Mum: Oh..well that's not very good is it?

Me: What? I've won almost $750 in 1100 hands

Mum: Mmm...so out of 1100...what's a hand? Is it like a dip or something?



WTF Thankfully the phone then rang and our poker chat was over.
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Old 01-16-2008, 12:25 PM   #604
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

if the casino royale film was made now they should have definitely had bond and las frog HU and bond call down with 109 v le frog's 92 on 447k board or whatever the board was. that would have been much better ending.

or before bond went all in, he should have said "i dont think any of you have got the spades, i call"
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Old 01-16-2008, 12:51 PM   #605
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by HedonismBot View Post
Beating 3/6 limit live is nearly impossible because of the rake or so I have heard
Why I don't like to tell even my winning friends that I play low limit.

That line kills me.
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Old 01-16-2008, 01:36 PM   #606
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

This thread: gold. Amazing to me how many of the same stories I've experienced.

Years back I had this hyper-evangelical coworker who never missed an opportunity to tell me that what I was doing in the casinos was at once both stupid (because the house always wins) and immoral (because I was taking other people's money). Never minding the obvious contradiction between those two arguments, the typical encounter would go as follows:

I'm chatting with a different coworker (one who gets it) about my latest casino trip where some donk stacked off to my nut flush with middle pair no kicker when Jesus Boy overhears and butts in:

"You know, all those lights in Vegas aren't powered by the house losing money."

"That's true. Any game you play in a casino where the house pays you if you win is constructed to be in the house's favor."

"So why do you gamble?"

"I don't play those games. You wouldn't catch me dead at a craps table. In poker, I'm paying a fee, or rake, to the house to use their dealer, their table, and their security, so that I have a chance to take money from other players. Not quite the same thing. All I have to do to make money there is be better than the other players to the extent that I can cover that rake."

"All I'm saying is, the next time you're in Vegas, take a look at the lights, and figure out how much money they're spending every day to lure you in."

"I'm. Not. Playing. Against. The. House. What part of this are you not comprehending?"

"I'm just saying, most people with gambling problems are in denial."

"Yes, I have a gambling problem. My problem is that you won't stop bothering me about my gambling. Don't you have someone you could be pestering about evolution during your unproductive time? I've got a few bogus Second Law of Thermodynamics arguments I could feed you if you're running short. In the meantime I'm going to go spend my gambling winnings on hookers and coke."

Still, I've found that a surprising number of people "get it" when I take the time to explain it to them. Maybe it's that I was an engineer and tended to hang out with people who understood the math of it, at least at a primitive level.
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Old 01-16-2008, 01:54 PM   #607
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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when did 007 get the chip lead?
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Originally Posted by rbnn View Post
ELLIPSIS
Nobody understands my puns.
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Old 01-16-2008, 02:13 PM   #608
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

My mum just related to me she read this article in the Chinese paper how this 18yo kid who was a good boy lost like 100k gambling and then killed himself

So sick and so very gh3y
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Old 01-16-2008, 02:19 PM   #609
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Elbow Jobertski View Post
Why I don't like to tell even my winning friends that I play low limit.

That line kills me.
I still remember when 'low limits are unbeatable because of the rake' was the standard 2p2 line, and some guy (maybe bison? I don't remember) came in with like 100k hands of winning low-limit hold'em and SHOCKED EVERYBODY.

lol
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Old 01-16-2008, 04:03 PM   #610
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Ribsauce View Post
This guy where I was working found out I played online poker.

HELLO FIFTY BAD BEAT STORIES. The best one was (he had just gotten back from Vegas) "I was at the MGM playing 200NL. I looked down at aces. I only had 100 dollars behind. So I raised to 15, another guy reraised me to 40, and I pushed. He called with kings and rivered a king. My mistake was not having enough money behind to push him off the hand"

YEA IT SURE IS A BIG [censored] MISTAKE TO GET ALL IN PREFLOP WITH POCKET ACES
So, did you invite him to play some heads up with you for decent money?
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Old 01-16-2008, 04:23 PM   #611
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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My mom doesn't know that I've played online, but she does know I have a keen interest in poker. So, she's always telling me this story about a kid that lost hundreds of thousands of dollars playing online poker, thinking that he was winning, and ended up robbing a bank to pay off his debts. I think the moral of the story is that you guys should all feel bad for ruining this kid's life.
I would totally interrupt my mom so many times that she would have trouble telling that story.

"hang on, how could he think he was winning?" "didn't he wonder why he had to keep on depositing money to keep playing?" "Debts? How could he borrow money without noticing that he was losing money and getting into debt?" "Where did he borrow money from?" "would a bank really lend money to a kid so he could play internet poker?" "are you sure this is a true story, not some silly made up urban legend?"
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Old 01-16-2008, 04:48 PM   #612
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

"Do you wear the sunglasses & everything?"
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Old 01-16-2008, 05:46 PM   #613
KiwiMark
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Yes, she knows I'm winning. She is very religious and believes in an "honest" living. Winning at poker is getting something for "nothing" and puts you in a mood of trying to prey on the weak and gullible to take their money.
You don't prey on the weak and gullible to take their money? I thought that was how money was made in poker?
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Old 01-16-2008, 05:47 PM   #614
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by pipedreamz View Post
after telling one guy about my 5K bankroll, he replies, "do you just play against a bunch of idiots or what?"

never again will i bring up poker in a conversation.
Didn't you reply - "yep, pretty much". Sometimes the truth is the obvious answer.
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Old 01-16-2008, 05:49 PM   #615
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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the first thing my current girlfriend's dad ever said to me was "so i hear you're a professional gambler". terrifying.
Answer: "define professional - if you mean do I consistently make enough gambling to give myself a good income then yes, I suppose I am a professional gambler."
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Old 01-16-2008, 05:57 PM   #616
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Didn't you reply - "yep, pretty much". Sometimes the truth is the obvious answer.
Good point, and its true, basically all the money comes from idiots, and I play against them every day
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Old 01-16-2008, 06:21 PM   #617
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

most of the people in this thread are sadly part of the problem.

no post secondary education, living with parents, no foreseeable prospects? make a trite rationalization for your past failures littered with words like "variance", "pot odds" and "long run" and you're well on your way to being a self declared pro.
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Old 01-17-2008, 11:59 AM   #618
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Abbaddabba View Post
most of the people in this thread are sadly part of the problem.

no post secondary education, living with parents, no foreseeable prospects? make a trite rationalization for your past failures littered with words like "variance", "pot odds" and "long run" and you're well on your way to being a self declared pro.

??? that's quite a few assumptions. and we all know what assuming does...
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Old 01-17-2008, 12:48 PM   #619
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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??? that's quite a few assumptions. and we all know what assuming does...
I think you just assumed we all know.
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Old 01-17-2008, 02:21 PM   #620
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Then you get the "Oh! I want to learn, it looks fun! Can you teach me?"
all the time
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Old 01-17-2008, 02:26 PM   #621
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Zagga View Post
Here is some advice on telling women and GF's.

Women LOVE money, so dont go avoiding the subject and especially avoid your winnings, thats nonsense. Start out with telling how much you win. for GF's, If you have tons of $$ on your bankroll, you can't honestly expect your GF to act like you are some poor student. You will have to give her some presents and stuff like that. Like buy her some jewel for $1k or something, or take her out to diner in the most fancy restourant in town. Make sure she knows you pay for it with your pokerwinnings, and she will definatly not wine again. She will probadly brag to all her friends about "yeah my BF bought me this, he makes tons of money every day! Just last week he made like $10k blablabla" This will also give you implied threesome odds
that's what's up
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Old 01-17-2008, 02:29 PM   #622
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Off topic but how much can live 3/6 limit be beaten for do you reckon?

$10 an hour? $15 tops? Just curious here
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Old 01-17-2008, 02:30 PM   #623
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Am I the only person in the world who rarely has these problems when I say I play poker?
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Old 01-17-2008, 03:19 PM   #624
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Having read this thread I can't wait for the day when I get to meet someone and they tell me they play poker for a living and I'll say all the cliche hilarious things about can I give him $300 to double t for me and that I play some poker too, and then when they ask me how much I get to tell them way higher stakes then they play... It will be glorious


IMO
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Old 01-17-2008, 03:54 PM   #625
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

First off I don't play for a living, but I am working very hard to try to reach the point where poker can bring in a comfortable supplemental income. I am a winning player, but not big enough wins at this point for me to start pulling from my slowly building bankroll. Now, of the people who know I am working toward this goal (who don't play mind you- LOT's of support from other poker player friends)-
-My father- every time I tell him I won a tournament or that I cashed out well at my cash game the conversation immediately turns to how "concerned he is about this dangerous habit of mine. Don't you know that people ruin their entire lives by gambling away everything they care about?" I have stopped trying to explain to him that I consistently win more than I lose and I have stopped expecting a positive response when I tell him what I have won.

-My friend Tracy- So you keep winning? Maybe you could just teach me to play too and I could quit my job. (No one ever had less potential in poker)

-My friend Jon- Do you ever do anything other than play cards? I'm worried about you. Not healthy.

-My mother- surprisingly positive. She has really encouraged me to try to make this work and loves to hear about every win.

Anyway, I'm not there yet, but if I can reach the point where the supplemental income can cut down a chunk of my bills that would be a huge step for me.
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