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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 01-14-2008, 05:10 PM   #551
kickflip252
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by SmackinYaUp View Post
OH man, i HATE this one the most. The question confuses me and I don't understand what the hell is going on in their confused little minds:

friend: "how much did you make today?"
me: "about $450"
friend: "yea, but did you lose any?????"
me: "uhh...what? I said I made about $450. NET."
friend: "yea, but did you LOSE any!??!?!"
me: "I don't get the question. I said I netted $450, wtf?"
friend: he must have lost a lot...poor guy. too bad he can't play like I did at our last home game. I always hit that third seven.

I guess in a sng or tourney (which is what people know from TV poker) you have to spend $X to win $Y so your profit is only $Y-$X... even though you said NET and that should've ended it.
I'm so not sure why this is hard for people to comprehend about cash games. heck, most people don't know what I mean when I say cash game. "uhm, don't you always play for cash?"
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:21 PM   #552
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

So are that actually real money? I mean can you withdraw them and buy stuff?

Thanks for bringing this threads up again. Gold!
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:32 PM   #553
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

my uncle: "I was in this play money tournament last night right.."

my thoughts: lol
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Old 01-14-2008, 06:53 PM   #554
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

My brother plays alot online too and is a big winner, my father is proud of both his sons achievements with poker and I have no contact with my mother, so familly is covered. My GF supports me playing poker now cause I bought her all kinds of stuff out of pokerwinnings My GF's parents however think poker equals gambling, and think its crazy I play poker some times (I only told them I play live some times for 10 euro, they would go balistic if they ever found out I 6table 100nl for 50k hands a month now ).

A few months ago, I was basically busto cause I cashed out all of my roll and havent been playing for like half a year. My brother plays a €50 rebuy PLHE tournament in the casino of amsterdam (there is only 1 lol) and my father went there too watch, he asked if I came, and said he would pay me my buyin for the tournament. I explained I needed €150 for that due to rebuy and he was ok with it. So obviously I played it, and ended 2nd for a €2280 prize. I was quite happy with this, becouse my GF and me (who were living together) wanted to buy a closet earlier that week, but wich we couldnt afford (€1,2k).

So later we tell her parents that we bought the closet, and a few other things for in the house. and they were like "Huh? We thought you couldnt afford it". So I explained about how my father payed me this one tournament entry (I emphasised on that I would never ever ever have played it if I had to pay the buyin myself, wich was a lie ) and that my one time came and I made some extra money.

And they were like "ow damn thats scary! be carefull you wont get addicted to gambling now blablabla"

*****! I GOT THE MONEY IN CASINO CHIPS INSIDE THE CASINO, did I take it to the 500nl table right there? NO! Did I take it to the roulette/blackjack? NO! I TOOK IT HOME AND BOUGHT A ****ING CLOSET WITH IT! AND YOU STILL THINK I AM A GAMBLING ADDICT NOW?!

anyways, thats what I wanted to say, but I just smiled and sayed I am carefull and never play myself for more then €10
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:22 PM   #555
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

I looked at him and smiled with 32 gold teeth and said 'whatchu makin in a year, im makin in a week'

-wyclef, the carnival
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:46 PM   #556
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

LOL great post so far,

So i emailed a company in UK to get help investing some of my poker monies and stuff. i just recieved the answer after truthfully diclosing that i am online poker pro...

"unfortunately cannot offer advice from a student whos only income is from gambling and is only age of 22.



I suggest you utilize the monies to be placed into cash isa each year and stop gambling as one day you may have lost all your cash.





Another IFA may offer advice but I cannot as previously stated"

Fok them.
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:59 PM   #557
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

person: hey mate, you'll never believe this bad beat i got last night
me: the bad beat is on me, for having to listen to this bull crap about him making his flush on the river when you had top pair. And you stacking off.
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Old 01-14-2008, 10:38 PM   #558
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by WCGRider View Post
Jesus Christ, people give me that double up **** so much. SO much its just aljksf;asdjflaskdfj;lsajdf, its just unbelievable.

Like, whats going through their head seriously.

"Hm, he makes money on teh interwebs, it seems to make sense that he would want my small sum of money to be able to make double that amount and give it back to me". No seriously, can anyone explain this to me? It really just baffles me how much i get this one.
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I once told my friend that I played online poker, and made the mistake of letting on that I was a winner at the game. I was honestly not bragging, he was questioning me quite a lot about it. Anyway, he brought out that "if I give you $300 do you think you could double it?" line. Now, if that wasn't bad enough, when I refused he started trying to make me feel bad, saying "no no it's ok, it's just I'd do it for someone else.."

I mean what the **** is that? He's done absolutely NOTHING in this situation, and he's justs expecting free money. It's basically begging, and it's disgusting.
I'm glad that I'm not the only person who this tilts. Of all the things mentioned in this thread, I really think is the one that bothers me the most. I just can't understand how STUPID one would have to be to ask this in the first place. It bothers me even more that they don't understand they're asking for handouts. It's like they think they're doing me a favor by lending me their money to play with. And then it makes me wonder how I ended up with friends who have the IQ of a rock.
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Old 01-14-2008, 11:55 PM   #559
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

One example: I was in the hospital last year and there were two smokin' hot college girls doing an internship from the local state college, and they interviewed me. As I was talking, I revealed that I play online poker for a living, and you could see their eyes widen...they both started lecturing me on how addictive online poker can be...I told them I made like $26k last month and it was like they believe that inevitably, you'll lose the money, so there's really no short way to explain to them what you do. I really regretted mentioning it, b/c I left feeling like they viewed me as a person with a severe gambling addiction.

Things I'd rather call online poker:

*computer business
*online business
*online investing
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Old 01-15-2008, 01:19 AM   #560
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

my mom keeps asking me why i keep playing computer. also, you should get a real job so you dont need to play computer so much.
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Old 01-15-2008, 02:30 AM   #561
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Honestly the next time someone asks if they gave me $20 if I could double it for them I'm gonna go "sure thing!" and lose it as quickly as possible
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Old 01-15-2008, 03:03 AM   #562
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

be like give me the cash and we'll see, sit at what ever table with all of it and shove every hand.
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Old 01-15-2008, 03:16 AM   #563
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

When people tell me its all luck my standard response has become "thats ok, I run hot as ****."
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Old 01-15-2008, 03:21 AM   #564
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by SneakyFerret View Post
Last night my dad watched me play .25/.50 HU cash game against a nit.

I have JT on an AATTX board. I make a bet on the river, get minraised.

Dad tells me to go all in. I tell him that I am 100% sure nit has an A. He pulls 20$ out of his wallet, throws it on the table, takes the mouse from me, and clicks all in.

He had the A, and my dad payed me to go all in
that's my story next time i pay off a nit on the river, except i made my dad put up double.
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Old 01-15-2008, 04:06 AM   #565
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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When people tell me its all luck my standard response has become "thats ok, I run hot as ****."

lol i say that EVERY time. best part is it keeps getting funnier.
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Old 01-15-2008, 05:27 AM   #566
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I dont gamble for a living, I exploit other people that are gambling for a living
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Old 01-15-2008, 05:36 AM   #567
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

meh. i got asked by emc's friend's dad: 'would you say in your poker career that you're up or down?'

me 'wouldnt be much of a career if im down would it?'


i hate the phrase poker career but whatever just think fast people
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Old 01-15-2008, 08:09 AM   #568
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Interesting twist on the "How much did you lose?"

Friend deposits $50 and runs it up to $1K with great br management then of course busts. Here's the basic conversation:

him: only lost 50
me: you had 1K?
him: yeah
me: you could have withdrawn it and bought stuff?
him: yeah
me: like a 1K bucks worth of stuff?
him: yeah
me: how much did you lose?
him: 50
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Old 01-15-2008, 08:22 AM   #569
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

pokers one long session. seems to me he lost 50, but its all a matter of semantics/time-frame imo
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Old 01-15-2008, 09:13 AM   #570
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

having to hear AA stories


being asked "how you did" every single time they know you went to AC for the day.


idiot - howd you do today
me - i played well, some standard stuff

idiot- how much did you win
me - oh i actually lost money today

idiot - well you mus suck then
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Old 01-15-2008, 10:16 AM   #571
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Reading this thread I was thinking back over experiences of this kind. I would have to say that the "Do you bluff a lot??!?!" question is the most annoying to me because there is no possible evasive answer. I guess you could just answer "Yes" but I don't want to do that because it would make me feel like a ****ing ******.

One incident sticks in my mind - I was playing bridge at a local club with a friend who also plays poker for a living, and we got involved in a conversation with some old lady there. It went like this:

Old lady: (Addressing my friend) So what are you doing for a job?
Friend: Actually I just play poker for money
Old lady: Hmph. Poker is all luck.
Me: Actually, there's quite a bit of skill in...
Old lady: No there isn't. It's all luck.

Given that the only possible response to this was "HU4ROLLZ?", we just shut our mouths and exchanged grins. The thing that got me wasn't the opinion, but the hostility. A similar conversation would be:

A: What do you do for a living?
B: Well, I've become a qualified Shiatsu massage practitioner, and...
A: Oh, Shiatsu is useless. It doesn't do anything.
B: Well actually, studies show....
A: No they don't. It's all quack bull****.

I'm pretty sure this lady would have recognised this line of conversation as uncool, but she had no problems informing us that a favourite activity of ours was all crap. I don't get it. Is it because everyone thinks they're an expert on gambling?
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Old 01-15-2008, 10:58 AM   #572
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

So you acutally play poker?
yeah...
SHOW ME YOUR POKERFACE
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Old 01-15-2008, 11:13 AM   #573
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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God I love this thread.

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Old 01-15-2008, 11:21 AM   #574
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Zagga View Post
Here is some advice on telling women and GF's.

Women LOVE money, so dont go avoiding the subject and especially avoid your winnings, thats nonsense. Start out with telling how much you win. for GF's, If you have tons of $$ on your bankroll, you can't honestly expect your GF to act like you are some poor student. You will have to give her some presents and stuff like that. Like buy her some jewel for $1k or something, or take her out to diner in the most fancy restourant in town. Make sure she knows you pay for it with your pokerwinnings, and she will definatly not wine again. She will probadly brag to all her friends about "yeah my BF bought me this, he makes tons of money every day! Just last week he made like $10k blablabla" This will also give you implied threesome odds
hahaha
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Old 01-15-2008, 11:28 AM   #575
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Dazarath View Post
I'm glad that I'm not the only person who this tilts. Of all the things mentioned in this thread, I really think is the one that bothers me the most. I just can't understand how STUPID one would have to be to ask this in the first place. It bothers me even more that they don't understand they're asking for handouts. It's like they think they're doing me a favor by lending me their money to play with. And then it makes me wonder how I ended up with friends who have the IQ of a rock.
That sucks, I can imagine that being very awkward. I think it's because see poker as a "game" and not as something you can seriously consider as your job.
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