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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 01-14-2008, 05:13 AM   #526
brinna70
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by dergitarrist View Post
Ahaha, just discovered this. Thanks for bumping. Read it all and heard almost every line quoted in here.

Especially the "can you really cash that out?" - yea - "why don't you do it now?" and the "yea but what if you lose it all" ones.

The "I play too, but not for real money, just for fun. But I'm good!" guys are THE worst.
I agree!!!!!!!
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Old 01-14-2008, 06:36 AM   #527
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Jesus Christ, people give me that double up **** so much. SO much its just aljksf;asdjflaskdfj;lsajdf, its just unbelievable.

Like, whats going through their head seriously.

"Hm, he makes money on teh interwebs, it seems to make sense that he would want my small sum of money to be able to make double that amount and give it back to me". No seriously, can anyone explain this to me? It really just baffles me how much i get this one.

I also hate having to hear what people say they made online, if they play. I remember i was in my geo lab once, and some kid said he played online poker. So i said cool what do you play, and he said texas holdem. I asked what stakes and he told me, and i quote "10 and 25$ blinds." At this point, i asked him what his bankroll was and he said (i swear lol) "Usually ive got a couple hundred online"

lol's.
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Old 01-14-2008, 06:37 AM   #528
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Oh and I HATE that my mom thinks its just lucky gambling. She never says "Oh hows poker?" or something, she always phrases it "Are you still gambling" or something to that degree.
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:00 AM   #529
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I once told my friend that I played online poker, and made the mistake of letting on that I was a winner at the game. I was honestly not bragging, he was questioning me quite a lot about it. Anyway, he brought out that "if I give you $300 do you think you could double it?" line. Now, if that wasn't bad enough, when I refused he started trying to make me feel bad, saying "no no it's ok, it's just I'd do it for someone else.."

I mean what the **** is that? He's done absolutely NOTHING in this situation, and he's justs expecting free money. It's basically begging, and it's disgusting.

Another gem I once heard was a guy I was speaking to about poker said "yeah I only play for fun money with my friends - which is pretty lucky because I'd just take all thier money if we played for real cash."
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:03 AM   #530
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I started playing together with some friends a couple of times at homegames. My parents thought it was just gambling.

Now 2 years later my friends are like wtf, you play those crazy limits on internet?

And my father regurarly asks how much I've made. And he even started playing himself and loves the game. Sometimes he's even railing me on another computer when I go deep in a tournament.
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Old 01-14-2008, 07:56 AM   #531
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Here is some advice on telling women and GF's.

Women LOVE money, so dont go avoiding the subject and especially avoid your winnings, thats nonsense. Start out with telling how much you win. for GF's, If you have tons of $$ on your bankroll, you can't honestly expect your GF to act like you are some poor student. You will have to give her some presents and stuff like that. Like buy her some jewel for $1k or something, or take her out to diner in the most fancy restourant in town. Make sure she knows you pay for it with your pokerwinnings, and she will definatly not wine again. She will probadly brag to all her friends about "yeah my BF bought me this, he makes tons of money every day! Just last week he made like $10k blablabla" This will also give you implied threesome odds
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Old 01-14-2008, 09:54 AM   #532
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

-Ok maybe u are lucky, but your luck is gonna run out so cash everything out while u still can.
-Is that real money?How do u cash out?Are u sure u can trust your money on the internet?
-If i give u 100$, can u double it up for me(i usually reply that if they give me 500$, i will shorstack 10/20 and they will get 40%, and nothing if i go busto)
-Why dont u buy a new car with all that money?
-In a homegame where i play 75/50, and lose alot, they start doubting if i really win so much, because they always win from me...
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Old 01-14-2008, 10:16 AM   #533
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I don't think that the 'how much did you lose' question is necessarily that dumb when you tell someone about a win. Obviously if you're playing cash games it's nonsensical but for tourneys it can be valid, I mean say you win 1k you may have spent a few hundred in entries before you won that 1k.
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Old 01-14-2008, 10:23 AM   #534
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

never tell anyone...a few non-poker players found out i make more at cards than i do at work...holy ****, that was annoying with so much random comments from people...
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Old 01-14-2008, 11:07 AM   #535
Erik Ryland
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Guess I better take my full tilt hat off around the public lol
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Old 01-14-2008, 11:35 AM   #536
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Most people just think it's a game of luck.

"man but you know 8k is decent car, you better cash out before you lose everything"
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Old 01-14-2008, 12:52 PM   #537
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Every time I've told someone it's

O'rly? You'd never belive it. I had this beat one time where [insert random standard beat here]. It's not so much the beat that bugs me, but listening to people explain to you their thought proccess, and misplaying everything. like ...

him- "So I hit a flush on the flop with my Q4s, and checked it"
me- "Why were you playing Q4s?"
him- "because it was sooted, and I like flushes"
me- "well then, that makes sense. Carry on"
him- "blah, blah, blah..... Do you believe he had the Ace of diamonds? Higher flush, has that ever happened to you?"


I don't know if I'm slowly becoming jaded or what. At the start I was like "Wow man that's crazy!" Now I pretty much just say if it's not really bad I've seen it before. That hint doesn't seem to be working since these people genuinly think their story is the craziest bad beat since the beginning of poker. I really want to just say" Honestly Dave, who gives a ****?" Then walk away but I'de feel like a dick. But it's freakin true.
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Old 01-14-2008, 01:06 PM   #538
John Bontus
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by patgerrity View Post
what about this " if I make an account and we play together, we can both play at the same table and tell each other our hands over the fone!! WE CANT LOOSE!!!!"
are you JJProdigy?
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Old 01-14-2008, 02:14 PM   #539
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by saskaman View Post
A friend of mine that I work with frames paintings in his home during his spare time usually during the evenings. He makes about 5 or 6 hundred a month. He spends about 60 hours a month doing this. This works out to be only $10/hour.

Nobody ever asks him:
- is your spare money worth your time?
- is your spare money worth the time away from your family?
- are you addicted to framing paintings?
- what do you do with all the money?
- isn't boring sitting in your basement framing paintings every evening ?
- what is the secret to framing?
- isn't a good frame just luck?
- when I see guys framing on TV they are horrible anyone could do that.

Likewise nobody has ever said to me but they have to him:
- wow, you must be very good at recognizing patterns
- your math skills/education have really paid off
- that's an amazing gift/skill/talent you have

I make a heck of a lot more money than him and have put just as much time perfecting my 'part time job', but gain no respect. This doesn't bother me at all, however. My extra money goes to my wife and family, trips mainly...Mexico, skiing, etc. etc.

I suppose people have a problem with the fact that for those of us that are profitable we provide no meaningful service to anyone around us. I never debate this, however my family and those that benefit from my travel and many other purchases do.
i lol'd really hard. A++ for originality
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Old 01-14-2008, 03:38 PM   #540
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

when someone walks into my dorm room and they see me playing i always get the "OMFG, how the **** do you play 4 tables at one time?!" I respond with a "i'm smarter then you."
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Old 01-14-2008, 03:52 PM   #541
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by PugsMcGee View Post
when someone walks into my dorm room and they see me playing i always get the "OMFG, how the **** do you play 4 tables at one time?!" I respond with a "i'm smarter then you."
and you still have friends after doing this?
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Old 01-14-2008, 03:58 PM   #542
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Pog0 View Post
I'm at a birthday shindig, all the girls go off to the bathroom and I'm talking to some guy. He's talking about work (he picks up garbage off the streets... no joke) and then when the girls get back, one of them listening in is like, "hey, do you know what he (me) does for a living? He plays poker on the internet."

him: "oh, really?"
me: "yeah"

For the next ten minutes, I'm stuck listening to how he won $40 at a home game once and that he prefers pocket twos to pocket aces.

What negative experiences have you guys had when someone found out you play poker for a living and/or on the internet?

If She's hot, this is a great "in" and you should have banged her, If she's ugly just go to the bathroom and hope that when you come out she is gone,
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Old 01-14-2008, 04:04 PM   #543
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

My father has a best friend all the way from childhood to where they work for the same company today. My Dad's friend's Dad was somewhat of an alcoholic and lost alot of what they had playing poker and gambling while growing up . It's kinda rough when he just busts my Dad's balls w/ lines like "well my sons aren't lucky enough to win the lottery" etc etc. and my Dad can't reply. I mean, he can't directly insult his friend really no matter how true it is, right? Pretty lame situation for my Dad nowadays.
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Old 01-14-2008, 04:05 PM   #544
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Sponger. View Post
and you still have friends after doing this?
pretty proud of myself...lvled sponger ftw
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Old 01-14-2008, 04:27 PM   #545
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Oro View Post
My mom doesn't know that I've played online, but she does know I have a keen interest in poker. So, she's always telling me this story about a kid that lost hundreds of thousands of dollars playing online poker, thinking that he was winning, and ended up robbing a bank to pay off his debts. I think the moral of the story is that you guys should all feel bad for ruining this kid's life.

I'm fairly certain I saw this on Law & Order. Can't be 100% sure, because of course I was playing poker online while the TV show was on.
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Old 01-14-2008, 04:30 PM   #546
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Scotty. View Post
-webcam
"oh ok, that makes sense"

problem solved
i like to use a webcam when i play too... but i take a photo of my 85 year old grandmother,complete with baseball hat, dark shades and a cigarette in her mouth, and place it in front of the lens.
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Old 01-14-2008, 04:35 PM   #547
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I was having a beer after playing golf with my father and they had a WSOP episode on the TV. There was some hand where they got it aipf QQ v. 99 and the guy looks at the screen and says "those percentages are wrong." So his friend says "what do you mean?" and the guys responds "he only needs one card to have a better hand. all he needs is a 9 and he'll win. There's no way the guy with queens is an 80% favorite."
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Old 01-14-2008, 04:51 PM   #548
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I rep my FPP clothes hard, ya ***** i play online poker

i love people telling me people can hack your computer and see your hole cards. i just tell them thier 100% right so they feel smart... idiots
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Old 01-14-2008, 04:59 PM   #549
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I think my mom is the best.

I was home for the holidays and went to Foxwoods to play in one of the dailies they have. 11th out of a field of 192. (20 places paid out)
my mom's 2 comments were:
how much did you have to spend to win that?
You're not addicted to gambling now are you?

I'm not a big stakes player, but I've played my entire online poker with my initial $20 deposit 4 years ago when I thought I'd "give poker a try"


The other most often question i've heard is "How much have you ever won at one time?"
I think people are scared when I tell them the story of how I had absolutely no real money, and rent was due in 3 days. but I had $60 bux in my TitanPoker account. i won a satellite into a tourney, where I placed 4th and was able to pay my rent and go out to dinner!
I mean, I was going to play anyways and there was no way I was going to make up almost $700 in 2 days (legitimately)... so I never understand the people who say that I should have at least taken that $60 out of my poker account, and that way I'd have to borrow (or steal) less. I mean come on, if I'm like can I borrow $700 or can I borrow $640, the answer is going to be the same either way.
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Old 01-14-2008, 05:04 PM   #550
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by 2orange View Post
-In a homegame where i play 75/50, and lose alot, they start doubting if i really win so much, because they always win from me...
I also play pretty crazy in the low-stakes games with friends, and sometimes go through a couple buyins. I do all sorts of fishy things like seeing every flop, minreraising trash, and overbetting the nuts. And flush draws are the nuts. I'm not sure if they believe me when I tell them I play online.
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