um wtf? I def had my own checking acct with bankone with a visa debit card.

"um wtf? I def had my own checking acct with bankone with a visa debit card."

yeah but I don't think you can own a Credit card.

One thing that bugs me is that some people think poker is so [censored] simple.
"Few cards dealt, bet/check or fold, what's the big idea?"
When I was a beginning player I tried to explain online poker to a girl:

Girl: "How can skill matter in online games? You can't even see your opponent's faces!"
Me: I tried to explain how complicated poker is and picking up tells is just a small part of it. I also told her that almost nobody plays 5-card draw, but more skill-oriented forms of poker.

Girl: "How can you win constantly, then?"
Me: I went on to explain how I only play better hands from better positions, put pressure on my opponents etc.

Girl: "So why doesn't everyone play that way? Your opponents play bad hands from bad positions? Why would they do that?"
Me: ...

you sucked at explaining the skillful part of poker, it's natural for your friend to be confused

Well, I didn't write down all the stuff I explained to her, but you're right anyways. It's kinda hard to explain what poker is about to a person who doesn't know anything about the game. Or worse; knows what she has learned from westerns.

I don't mind all the stupid questions and ignorance from people... I mean shieeet I make 10x more than most of the douche's. But I kinda feel bad for my conservative mom who has to explain to other conservative old people that her son's a professional "GAMBBLERR" ohhh no dare I utter that word in front of old people GAMBLER

I just had this conversation with my father (WPT is on TV and he happens to catch some of it):

Dad: "So you don't think all of those players are cheats?"
Me: "What? What do you mean?"
D: "I just don't think poker is trustworthy. What's your situation in online poker anyway?"
Me: "Well, I've never deposited any of my own money since I got a promotion which promised a little sum and from there my roll has grown to x dollars."
D: So you've lost x dollars?
M: No, I just said I've won that amount.
D: You sure they let you keep it? Why don't you just take all of your money out?
M: Of course they let me keep it. Besides, most of the money is in a sort of bank account (Neteller) which is very reliable.
D: Are you sure? I wouldn't trust these guys. Be careful and if you start to lose tell me.

And so on...my folks don't have a clue about poker.

I had a convo with my uncle about me play poker, he was like Id lose all my money at poker, I play blackjack I win at that games sometimes. Im just thinking to myself in the end u leave all ur money at the casino and just laugh in my head.

i get medical questions all of the time and i am not even a doctor

i say:

i don't know man, go to the doctor

you need to watch forensic files the basement is not a good place. pm me for advice

telling girls the amount you make in any job is a noob play, lifenoob

I had this conversation with my folks the other day for the first time. It went like this:

them: we dont like you playing cards, its illegal!
me: no its not.
them: yes it is and you could make so much better use of your time.
me: like how?
them: well something that actually makes money, what have you made like a couple hundred dollars over the last year?
me: (laughing literally) yes a couple hundred (thinking i made more money then both of you combined - Ive seen their tax return--- this is no slight on them at all).
them: your aunt doesnt like it either
me: ??????????!!!!!??????
them: well you really should be focusing on your job (which I do by the way).
me: thanks guys.
them: plus its not legal.
me: *sigh* I explain why its ambiguous.
them: well stop for us ok?
me: yah whatever




Basically, no one understands and it actually sucks because we all know its an emotionally draining game. See, at work, which is sales for me, you get that support and I find it makes working long boring hours for next to nothing somehow seem like a good idea. Hmmm....

why not just make a joke back, they are just kidding with you

"yeah i could lose it all then i would have to go back to selling drugs"
"yeah i could lose it all then i would have to go back to giving handjobs in the alley behind the bar"
"i couldn't lose it all i would save enough for a handgun so i could shoot myself"

etc

the people you people know suck

i love this thread. good bump. keep the stories coming.

use quotes

I went to a wedding with my girlfriend, and our reception table included her crazy aunt. Unfortunately, my girlfriend didn't keep her mouth shut and told her aunt I was playing poker the night before.

The aunt started asking me all about it, like where I played. I didn't want to get into the online thing, so I told her how I go to Commerce and Hollywood Park, etc.

She said: "Why don't you go to Vegas instead?"
"Why would I go to Vegas when Commerce is right here?"
"Because if you just go once or twice a year to Vegas, you won't be tempted as much to play."

....

Good thing it was an open bar.

Whenever I play live my dad will ask me the next day "HRHRHRHR SO DID YOU WIN ENOUGH FOR ME TO RETIRE? How did you do?" I used to respond "I did fine" whether I won or lost, but I've since realized that just leads to him asking what "fine" means, so I've resorted to just saying "I lost" every time. It seems to be working well so far, I may regret it if he actually believes me because I've told him I lost quite a few times now.

A similar situation came up a couple weeks ago when I got back to my apartment after being at home and playing live over the weekend. Roommate asks "so what'd you do this weekend?" and I told him I went to the casino. He knows I play poker because my door is basically only closed if I'm jerking off, so it's easy to see when I'm playing. "Did you win?" I of course, made the mistake of telling him not only that I won, but how much I won, which resulted in "hey do you think I could learn how to play? I'm not a pro but I'm pretty good. " Maybe I should offer him HU for rolls?

Why are people so ******ed when it comes to things they don't understand? If there's something I don't understand I don't go around giving people my completely moronic and incorrect views on it, I either figure it out or stop paying attention to it. I remember a few months ago I was in the car with my dad when we were going to pick up his car that was being worked on and he bothered me when I was in the middle of my biggest losing session online at the time (possibly a brag that I was forced to get up) and he asks "how much did you win last night?" and for the first time ever I told him whatever the amount was and then followed it with "but I'm down $1400 online today" which was a lot more than whatever I had won live the previous night, and he says "OMG I HOPE YOU'RE NOT CHARGING THAT ON YOUR CREDIT CARD". Honestly, a million years old, and a ******ed statement/belief like this is what he comes up with? "I hope you're not charging that on your credit card"? Since he pays my $20 a month or whatever I spend on my credit card I'd think he'd be smart enough to know that maybe, just maybe, I use actual money I have as opposed to magical fairy money that comes down from the sky that somehow doesn't appear on the credit card statement on the only credit card I ever use.

Credit nuggetz87 for beginning the "But how much did you lose?" craze.

Our govt would never ban online poker...geez, that would be like restricting personal freedom, like prohibition...never happen

Delicious bass started the forum wars!!!! when trying to anagram dhootie into a good word the obvious DIE OOT comes out with an extra H. Delicious can you tell us who really killed JFK and where the aliens are???

Umm, it sounds like he just wants you to teach him how to play. Help the guy out.

He has watched me play a couple times which I wouldn't mind at all if he didn't constantly ask questions like "WOWZA YOU HAVE LIKE TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS ON THE TABLE, YOU COULD LOSE THAT ALL IN ONE HAND HUH?" which I of course, couldn't, because I was 9 tabling 1/2 NL and it's somewhat difficult to lose 10 buyins spread between 9 tables in 1 hand.

you sound like one hell of a roommate.