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Poker Beats, Brags, and Variance Here's where you put your whines and wins.

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Old 11-27-2010, 03:58 AM   #2776
Phony D
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
'Do you trade frequently?'
'No, I just hold 'em'

*boom tish*
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Old 11-27-2010, 04:27 PM   #2777
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blutarski View Post
lol, this is/was my wife.

when i first started playing, i put 100 on stars, and my wife asked me if i was going to lose the mortgage money.

she'd have a hissy every time i wanted to go and play in AC. the first time i came home a winner (@200) i gave it to her. now she asks me when i'm going again, but now i get to keep my winnings.

but forget playing during the day- wimminz like their attention, and usually deserve it.
My wife was dubious at first. But since I had been in an auto accident and couldn't work anyway, she didn't mind that much that I put $50 on PokerStars to see if I could do something with it.

Now, if she wakes up at 2 A.M. and finds me watching TV, she'll say, "You're not done playing poker are you?"
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Old 11-27-2010, 06:42 PM   #2778
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Poker Clif View Post
My wife was dubious at first. But since I had been in an auto accident and couldn't work anyway, she didn't mind that much that I put $50 on PokerStars to see if I could do something with it.

Now, if she wakes up at 2 A.M. and finds me watching TV, she'll say, "You're not done playing poker are you?"
Aha! Now that sounds like a cool poker wife! Srsly, most wives/GFs are just like all the other posts describe: whiny bitchy nags.

Ive only come across a few couples like that, where the wife is mostly cool and supportive of poker. Mostly in relationships where the person who plays is also some sort of professional in another field: doctor, lawyer, etc.
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Old 11-27-2010, 07:15 PM   #2779
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Me: I'm up $30 in teh micros I'm such a baller! <joke brag>
IT Guy: Pocket aces almost never hold up you know.
Me: They hold up about 80% of the time.
IT Guy: No, because *bad beat story*
Me: *walks off to get a beer*
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Old 11-27-2010, 10:26 PM   #2780
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Robert12345 View Post
Friends dad: "I went once in France 10 years ago, with a work friend and I had $1000 on me, I played baccarat and was winning $20000, then I decided to go double or nothing and ended up winning $40000 and left"

Me: "Whoa what did you do with all that money, thats insane well done"

Friends dad: "I came back to London and gave it all to charity as I thought it was, dirty and not properly earned money"

Me: "SILENCE"

HOW THE HELL DO I COME BACK TO THIS ONE?
Tell him it's pretty easy to be high and mighty about giving away 40K when you have billions of your own.
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Old 11-28-2010, 12:12 AM   #2781
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Okay...but how much did you lose?
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Old 11-28-2010, 06:44 AM   #2782
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmpLive View Post
Girl: So where do you work?

Me: I play poker

Girl: What a loser
Me: You're fat. /girl = stacked
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Old 11-28-2010, 06:48 AM   #2783
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
'Do you trade frequently?'
'No, I just hold 'em'

*boom tish*

A++
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Old 11-28-2010, 01:29 PM   #2784
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikaberdort View Post
this was a couple hours ago

me: hey the main event final table is on tv
dad: okay...
me: a canadian won, i thought u might want to watch it
dad: i know, i read it in the news
me: he won 9 million dollars
dad: so why don't u do it?
me: umm...
dad: its cuz you don't read people
me: what?
dad: the pros always know what cards the other guy has
me: ...
dad: you don't... that's why you lose
*i walk away*
i actually lol'd irl, nice post.
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Old 11-28-2010, 01:33 PM   #2785
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikaberdort View Post
this was a couple hours ago

me: hey the main event final table is on tv
dad: okay...
me: a canadian won, i thought u might want to watch it
dad: i know, i read it in the news
me: he won 9 million dollars
dad: so why don't u do it?
me: umm...
dad: its cuz you don't read people
me: what?
dad: the pros always know what cards the other guy has
me: ...
dad: you don't... that's why you lose
*i walk away*
lol i love this post just read it too
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Old 11-28-2010, 01:44 PM   #2786
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

I love the "Do you play online poker as well? Where? [answer] I play on facebook" guys.. they always tell me how good they are and that they are up by [insert random number you consider to be big] chips.. they're so funny.
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Old 11-28-2010, 01:46 PM   #2787
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Alficor1 View Post
I love the "Do you play online poker as well? Where? [answer] I play on facebook" guys.. they always tell me how good they are and that they are up by [insert random number you consider to be big] chips.. they're so funny.
Spoiler:
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Old 11-28-2010, 05:47 PM   #2788
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by Sponger. View Post
Whenever people who don't know I play poker come into my room and I'm sitting at my compter in front of 3 giant monitors I try and say that its my roomates computer and I just needed to use it for a second and mine is the more modest setup across the room. Then I tell them my roomate is addicted to porn.
Porn is a completely different experience with three monitors =) Friends didn't believe me when I said I watched 11 movies at a time... Two fullscreen on the side and 3x3 matrix in the middle. TV is so 1900's.
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Old 11-28-2010, 05:50 PM   #2789
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by PsiCloneB View Post
Porn is a completely different experience with three monitors =) Friends didn't believe me when I said I watched 11 movies at a time... Two fullscreen on the side and 3x3 matrix in the middle. TV is so 1900's.
will try that
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Old 11-29-2010, 12:43 AM   #2790
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

This thread is awesome.

i don't play for a living.

But maybe I can make enough money one day to where I can have people ask terrible questions like these and reply that I just bought a Porsche.
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Old 11-29-2010, 06:23 AM   #2791
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by troll$d0pray View Post
I wanna know where da gold at?
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Ban imo
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Old 11-29-2010, 06:55 AM   #2792
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Does anyone else get upset when they say smth like ''how did gambling go today?''
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Old 11-29-2010, 07:01 AM   #2793
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by AlmostFamous View Post
Does anyone else get upset when they say smth like ''how did gambling go today?''
no because poker is gambling.
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Old 11-29-2010, 08:43 AM   #2794
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Or how about when someone feels the need to have a dick measuring contest with you and lie about their poker achievements. You ask their username, ptr, see that they played 2 sessions and lost $50...
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Old 11-29-2010, 11:52 AM   #2795
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Re: Why I don\'t tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by McBusto View Post
"I always play low cards, because alot of people don't play those cards so there are more left in the deck"
LOL, this is my favorite.
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Old 11-29-2010, 12:26 PM   #2796
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

i like..

how are you going to play poker for your whole life?
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Old 11-29-2010, 12:39 PM   #2797
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by ktcbs21 View Post
i like..

how are you going to play poker for your whole life?
I asked myself that when I was playing poker for a living.
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Old 11-29-2010, 02:34 PM   #2798
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by ktcbs21 View Post
i like..

how are you going to play poker for your whole life?
that's a pretty valid point.
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Old 11-29-2010, 03:10 PM   #2799
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

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Originally Posted by ktcbs21 View Post
i like..

how are you going to play poker for your whole life?
That's one question that's always on my mind. This really can't last for much longer IMO.
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Old 11-29-2010, 03:11 PM   #2800
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Re: Why I don't tell people I play poker.

Quote:
Originally Posted by scuzks View Post
"Yeah mom, I had a bad session, I lost a huge pot where I was an 80% favorite to win"



"Well if you can't even win when you're an 80% favorite what good are ya?"


FU!
omg, love this
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