I just gotta share this one with you all.

There is a guy in my class that brags all the time about how much he wins at online poker, and at how much he is playing at the high stakes with the pros. He always mocks me because I play at 25NL, and that I need to move up so I can use my whole bankroll on one table.

When we play live poker and action goes me versus him, he always tries to come with some spewing comments.
If he wins the pot he says "I bet this dosnt happend at 25NL" or "This is the difference about a newbish player who bets with cents and a big player who bets with real dollars"
If he lose he says "Im having a hard time adjusting to microplayers" or something cheezy like "Woow, you earned more than you do in a mounth of 25nl now"




This is going on and on for weeks.

I always thought he was lying/exaggerating when he told those stories about how much thousands $$$ he earned this weekend.

I decide to check him up on tableratings.com and I found out he has played around 7000hands and have sessions of 40-200 hands
He mostly played 400NL and has lost $-3,376.10 total and this is how hes graph looks like:



Now im just waiting for the perfect spot to fire this barrel on him

Hes gonna be so embarrassed! haha

Funny **** is that I hear him brag abot hes winning all the time

Unpossible. Do you mean 400NL?

Sorry, meant 400NL :P edited now

lol love this thread!
it sux that some of my friends know I play for a living, because every time they introduce me to a new friend they say I m a poker player... and I end up getting in these discussions y'all have in this thread

tableratings? how are those stats gathered? possibly bs.

I just say that I f*** mature (40+) women, and in exchange they fund my degenerate poker habit.

d'

It datamines FTP. It seems to be fairly accurate, but not perfect

"As if people don't understand that in a symmetric game. . . "

At that point their eyes glazed over and you lost them.

Quoted for Awesome


also bump for great justice

A little OT i know, but the story of Job isn't actually God gambling, because the Lord doesn't actually wager anything. All he says is that his servant Job is upright and righteous, while Satan says its only because God has pampered him. So God invites Satan to test his hypothesis by allowing him to afflict Job. Not a wager, not a gambling situation. And in the end, it was more of a teaching lesson for Job than a bet between God and Satan. Satan made a claim, God told him to "prove it" and Job learned about humility and suffering.

Ok, religious digression over. It just irks me when people go "look at Job God bet Satan......etc. etc". without knowing what is really written there.

I don;t make enough to say im professional (in fact im breakeven after 2 1/2 years of microgrinding *beat*) and while i am a churchgoer and belive that God has no problem with poker as long as you play withing your means and aren't being a bad steward of your resources, it seems church is where you'll get the most disapproving ppl (probably doesnt help that i wear my stars shirt to church) I asked my pastor what our treausrer (who's wife is very old-fashioned and disapproving of poker) would do if one day we handed then like a $10,000 tithe check from a large tournament win (one day *fingers crossed* ) and told them it was from poker. His answer was very wise, and revealed the hypocrisy a lot of church people have

Pastor: Its amazing how people's attitudes about something can change when they start benefitting from it.

Idk if this really fits here, but when he said it all i could think was " QFTMT!"

ok i done now

We want pics and we want them now

Anyone who heckles the dice man is seriously mentally ******ed. The guy has no scruples, and i wouldn't put it past him to actually come off stage and destroy some one physically.

will oblige if ican find my shirt before tomrrow and find my wife's digi camera

probably a level but ill do it anyway

Edit: I've never been a "Sunday Best" kind of guy (i don't think God cares what your wearing as long as your not being offensive or distracting) so this is more laziness than actually trying to look bada$$. Also I have to drive an hour to and from church and work almost right after service ends, so im usually in my work clothes already (I'm a waiter, so its black slacks, black shoes and an undershirt [my p stars shirt in this case] with my button down work shirt hanging in the car)

Edit: Also i meant to say "QFMFT" up there ^^ instead the weird gobbledygook i actually wrote.

QUOTED FOR THE MOTHER TRUTH!

A few weeks ago I got a cab from outside the casino and the guy asked me what I was doing, so i told him poker and he spent the next 25 minutes telling me bad beats. Three days later the same thing happened with a different cab driver, so I've learnt my lesson and next time I'll just say blackjack or something.

i have a housemate that plays $11 SNG's when he has money. he is convinced that pokerstars is rigged. i never argue with him. lately i have been trying to convince him to write an article and include all of his suckout hands. he says that he has "absolute proof" that pokerstars is rigged. that way you guys can flame him for me.

Say roulette, otherwise it'll be "zomg this one time I got dealt 88 versus a 6, so I split and the first card was a 2, so then...."

If you say roulette you'll hear about his great system for beating it and how he averages +$20k a year at it. I just say poker and don't talk or listen to them when they tell me a bad beat story - or tell them to stop telling me bad beat stories. It's kind of rude, but at least they'll learn for the next poker player

wait. so do you guys make money at it?

to be honest, i love my job... gotta hold the target juuuuust right

^^^hahahahah

LOL

I'm saying this irl from now on. I lol'd so hard i nearly fell out of my chair.

I'm so sad that this thread came to an end

From my experience what i noticed in my home country (I am polish) all my friends and also family can easily understand that poker is about skill, mathematic, statistic, tendencies, etc etc and being good at this means that you can make a money from weaker players. But one year ago i was in England. Gosh, I dont know why but I felt like people over there were 100 times more dumb than in Poland. They just couldnt get anything what i told them and it was hell annoying to explain them even a basic concepts like you said before. So I think it might depends where you are and what kind of people you are surrouned by and you should think about this twice before you start saying anything 'bout poker

Haha,a Polack telling Brit jokes...too funny!!