Id be like : Well thats very generous of you ! Kthnxbye

lol the best one i've had is wen this girl who i'm quite friendly with saw me playin online before we went out how much did u just win..i said 340 and she said yeh but how much are you down for the year LOL its impossible to people that poker players can win money over an extended period of time.

If i'd had a losing session the girl can't keep her mouth shut sao i may as well have just posted my bank account balance on the internet casue all my other friends are gunna find out lol

If someone asks how much I've made I tell them "I'm UP $xxxx"

Phrasing it this way I've never been asked "But how much did you lose"

Someone saw me reading some poker strategy article and asked me what it was, so I told them.

They kinda laughed and were like "poker strategy? how does that work? Doesn't seem like something there'd be much strategy for... what is it like, how to bluff more or something?"

But how much are you down?

Touche

"Or my favourite thing is to relate the cost of everything to how many big blinds it is for me"

I do this all the time too except I play 25cent/50cent. It usually sounds something like: Yeah I can afford the two hundred dollar nintendo wii, it's only 400 big blinds.

i only play micro stakes on stars but put in alot of time grinding. Anyways i always go to this small cash game up at college and the people are absolutely terrible. THe kid who hosts it always tells me how he deposited $50 on FT the other day but lost it playing 50nl lol.

then there was the kid who opened shove a full buyin and i called him with 1010 cuz he is a nit... he shows K3os

flop comes K104 and he says "wow what a horrible beat that is for me"
he then rebought back in and went all in a few hands later iwth J9 and lost...

Does not compute?

By “mistake” at the end of a late nite session I left PS on with my cashier window open. Next morning my wife (who thinks I play too much poker anyway) (but dear, I don’t want to watch Oprah) borrows my computer to check something.

I come down, she’s at it clicking away. She starts talking to me in THAT tone:

“So, how come you have so much money on you poker game”

“Ummm, because I win?”

“Yeah, right. How much did you put in there last time?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Why not?

“Because it was 2 years ago.”

“Why so long ago? How can you still have so much money on there?”

“Ummm, because I win?”

I took a one of my lady co-workers with me to a live game and after making a couple BI's she asked if when she gets her paycheck if I could play it for her.


OR when my family(aunts uncles cousins) found out that I play for the majority of my income they always try to lecture me about "How many successful lawyers and doctors have gone broke playing poker"

here is how my convos go:

them: so what you do for a living?
me; I am a professional "poker player"!
them h really(sad look) I know this guy who was a professional 'GAMBLER' that blahabhalhbhablhab


so I tell my brother I play poker for a living here is what he says:

him: so you pay all your bills through poker?
me: yep
him: so you win evertime you sit down?
me: trying to explain variance but he thinks its denial...
him: see at the end you will always lose to the casino!
me: ROFL

I'm thinking you don't know the proper definition of "nit".

He's pretty much spot on infact

Well you do, you can't bluff the rake out of the pot sadly

Or, given the hand selection showed by this villain, there's an outside chance it was sarcasm.

lol, i actually enjoy talking about poker, but maybe it's because i've never had a super idiot fight everything i've said.

I'm new here but all i gotta say is, I only talk to people who do play .. Cause one of my buddies started and didn't know what he's doing.. i play micro / low .. dont play lots more for fun then profit.. anyways he started now hes addicted and hes not very good.. so now that i feel bad.. cant get him to stop.. somewhat funny not like hes going bankrupt.. but he might eventually.. then there is also the people who just rumble on and on about how bad and rigged it is. stupid

I talk about me playing poker for a living all the time at my university though, it's funny becouse I study psychology, everyone I tell about it imidiatly spots all the signs a gambling addict has, but is afraid to say anything about it.

ok lol my bad i meant donk or fish whichever you prefer srry i dont use the lingo too much my mistake i do know what a nit is and he isnt that

althouh he did play very tight until the last few hands he lost in so...

Obvious answer: Yes, in exchange for butt seks!

Obvious answer: They all went broke playing against me because they play badly and I play well. They may be good at doctoring or lawyering, but I'm good at poker.

I am not a pro player - I wish I was. But I have given heaps of thought to this topic and I am sure I could do a much better job than most of you when telling people that I play poker for a living (if in a year or two I were able to make more from poker than my day job).

Just tell people that you have cashed out your initial investment and more so that it is not possible for you to lose money playing poker because you are now only playing with your winnings. You are not in fact risking any of your own money anymore because you are only playing with other peoples money.

You could also make up stuff like: I am such a good player that people with lots of money stake me - they pay tourney entry fees and we split the profit - I risk zero dollars when I play. I play so well that I win more than I lose and therefore I have no trouble finding people willing to risk money on my poker. Tell them it is like people that are paid to invest other peoples money in the stock market only you make more money.

Just thought of another good one:
I played some freerolls online and made money, I played with that money and made more money - I have never put ANY money on these poker sites so I have never lost any of my own money. I keep winning and taking money out, but I would NEVER actually put money IN. If someone tells other people this I would love to hear of any negative argument you get in reply! How can someone argue with "I have NEVER lost ANY money because I have only ever played with winnings" or "If I lost what I have online I would play some more freerolls and then make money from the winnings from them, I have never and will never risk any of my own money on poker". Without calling you a liar they can't really put you down after a statement like that!

Pretty soon people will think that you are not a degen and you are playing with zero risk.

Currently almost everyone that knows me knows that I play poker for fun, I tell them I mostly play free games but can win real money - everyone thinks that is pretty cool. I point to the LCD TV in the living room and tell them I won that in a free pub tournament (It was the 2nd place prize at the regionals). I am up by almost $2000 in cash and prizes in live pub poker freerolls so no one is scared I will go bankrupt playing poker. If anyone tries to tell me gambling is bad I just tell them "free TV" that shuts them up - you can't argue with a brand new TV for free!

you people must hang around meatheads.

when my luck ends i'll pull out my 64 caliber revolver...


And rob the quickie mart

It used to really bug me when friends and family gave the "ZOMG rigged" scare story about online poker... I told them I wasn't worried, I played at a reputable site called ABSOLUTE POKER and they wouldn't have any incentive to rip off the players...

God I hated having to tell them later "oh btw you were right, it was rigged."