Please be offended by this.

You're a ****ing arsehole.

They all do man.

What's does DTF stand for?

Delicious Titty ****

I did already tell you mate.

Down To ****.

Example:

"me and the lads were out getting ****ing up on ice the other night, this hot slut walked past in a skimpy dress, slut was so dtf".

Drug task force ldo

Awesome! This has to be the most common i swear!

pics or it didn't happen!!!

This thread is getting derailed at the moment. Can we please get some more interesting stories and less rambling?

Sitting next to a lady on the flight back from Vegas...

LADY: "What do you do for a living?"
ME: "I play poker."
LADY: "No way, really?! Are you lucky?"
ME: "No."

There is a pause for about 15 seconds while she starts reading her book. I thought our conversation was over.

LADY: "So, you're a poker player. You must be single then."

I feel an instant surge of anger, I am outraged. How can she judge me like that? Then I think as a poker player I am always making decisions and judgments based upon incomplete information, just like she did. To get upset would be hypocritical. While I was engaged for 4 years I AM in fact single at the moment.

ME: "Well played."

It's such a gamble with girls, no pun intended...some are real receptive and think its cool...others are like "oh your stupid and blow you off" I just play it safe and avoid it

. She was clearly trying to pick you up.

I dont tell people i play poker becuase i dont want them to judge me, so instead i tell them im a african american women single parent with only 1 working limb and im old.

just made an account to post in this thread because its al very recognizable.
Yesterday a girl came talking to me and said she has had a little bit off a crush on me a few years ago.
She was pretty good looking, So my thought was easy score.
We talked a bit and everything went great while talking about here job and stuff.

Then she said.... so what do you do for a living.
Even though i read this thread i still answered with: i play poker fulltime.
Girl literally only replied with: OHH
Me: What?
Girl: you know... thats very addictive
Me: oh ok never heard that one before-_-
Girl: I know people who play but don't do it for fun (WTF does that mean?)
Me:Yeah well it pays the bills though
Girl:But you pretty much steal the money then.
Me: *Pokerface Tilted as **** inside* I am going to get another beer

Conclusion: 100 procent golden ticket to score a nice girl but instead she TILTED the **** out of me and made me not even what to tap that.

Lesson learned---> never ever ever ever mention poker to a girl you just first meet.

BRAG: female had crush on me

Know when to hold them. Know when to fold them.

Nh sir.

nice 1st post welcome to 2+2 and entertaing story.

Was at the casino with a few mates just hitting the piss and running a muck my mates are gambling on house games

Girl: Wow you are not gambling?
Me: Yeah would rather get drunk and run a muck.
Girl: Must be hard?
Me: Well I don't play house games because you will lose most of the time and if i play poker "drunk" i'll probably lose.
Girl: huh, wouldn't it be the same when you play poker sober?
Me: Nah

So then like 50 million times in the past going on the same old storey to explain poker and that you can win showing sharkscope ect. ( ****ing hate these convos )

Girl: You are pretty lucky.
Me: No not lucky, I can just play alot better than others.
Girl: I think you have a problem.
Me: SHUT UP SLUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR ****ING TALKING ABOUT! ( not really)

But ****, I wanted to pimp slap that bitch.

I know this feel bro.

Feels bad man.

To the last few stories, that sucks but realistically anyone whos stupid enough to not get it after u explain it to them u wouldnt want a relationship with anyway id assume, im sure theyre ignorance manifests itself in other aspects of their life as well. If ur only talking to them to tap that, then dont tell the truth if their the straightlaced type if u think it could backfire. Bitches love money tho dont forget that. If your successful at poker and can show it i think most people will get it eventually. Most of my friends dont play poker and my family either, so i did have to go thru a phase where people questioned it and didnt get it. But when they see it consistently pay the bills eventually they realize its more than just gambling. Some people equate poker to gambling because they dont know any better, noone took the time to explain it to them from a strategical perspective. If u explain it properly, anyone with a fundamental understanding of math can get why poker is diff than other casino games. This thread is gold tho.

This is my opinion too. Well said.

Not familiar with your native dialect....Australian? British?

Is "hitting the piss" some foreign form of bathroom swordfighting? "Crossing the streams" as some would say?

Is "running a muck" a fancy term for dealing?

Australian

Well yes, if you the person you're talking to has an education in math or computer science or engineering that might work. I know a lot of engineers, and they get it.

But you would be surprised how little math some people understand. A LOT of people can't comprehend the idea of risk spread over a decent sample size, they don't want anything to do with even simple arithmetic, and they hope never to see a fraction again in their lives.

When I first started playing live, I took a poker book to read while I was waiting for a local tournament to start (I know enough now not to let anyone know I read poker books.) Often someone would ask to look at my book, and almost every person immediately handed it back to me if they saw any kind of chart, graph, or anything that looked like math.

People have no idea how to evaluate risk. The have no idea how risk and investment work together, and they are afraid of doing things that have much less chance of injuring them than driving to work. "I'm all in" is translated as "I could go broke."

The next time you meet some random person, try explaining why it's OK to draw to a flush if you're getting 5:1 on the river, and you'll usually get something like, "But you'll lose most of the time right?"

Yeh i know people are stupid thats why u really have to boil it down to the simplest examples possible sometimes. For one, ask them if they would gamble on a coinflip if they win $2 for being right and lose $1 for being wrong. I feel like most people can understand that its a +ev decision unless theyre literally retarted. The same u could apply to a dice game where ur chance of rolling a 1 is 1/6 but if u lose $1 and win $10 its +ev. Even though its gambling and luckbased the risk/reward ratio makes it +ev in the longrun. if they still dont get it, theyre hopeless lol