I agree!!!!!!!

Jesus Christ, people give me that double up **** so much. SO much its just aljksf;asdjflaskdfj;lsajdf, its just unbelievable.

Like, whats going through their head seriously.

"Hm, he makes money on teh interwebs, it seems to make sense that he would want my small sum of money to be able to make double that amount and give it back to me". No seriously, can anyone explain this to me? It really just baffles me how much i get this one.

I also hate having to hear what people say they made online, if they play. I remember i was in my geo lab once, and some kid said he played online poker. So i said cool what do you play, and he said texas holdem. I asked what stakes and he told me, and i quote "10 and 25$ blinds." At this point, i asked him what his bankroll was and he said (i swear lol) "Usually ive got a couple hundred online"

lol's.

Oh and I HATE that my mom thinks its just lucky gambling. She never says "Oh hows poker?" or something, she always phrases it "Are you still gambling" or something to that degree.

I once told my friend that I played online poker, and made the mistake of letting on that I was a winner at the game. I was honestly not bragging, he was questioning me quite a lot about it. Anyway, he brought out that "if I give you $300 do you think you could double it?" line. Now, if that wasn't bad enough, when I refused he started trying to make me feel bad, saying "no no it's ok, it's just I'd do it for someone else.."

I mean what the **** is that? He's done absolutely NOTHING in this situation, and he's justs expecting free money. It's basically begging, and it's disgusting.

Another gem I once heard was a guy I was speaking to about poker said "yeah I only play for fun money with my friends - which is pretty lucky because I'd just take all thier money if we played for real cash."

I started playing together with some friends a couple of times at homegames. My parents thought it was just gambling.

Now 2 years later my friends are like wtf, you play those crazy limits on internet?

And my father regurarly asks how much I've made. And he even started playing himself and loves the game. Sometimes he's even railing me on another computer when I go deep in a tournament.

Here is some advice on telling women and GF's.

Women LOVE money, so dont go avoiding the subject and especially avoid your winnings, thats nonsense. Start out with telling how much you win. for GF's, If you have tons of $$ on your bankroll, you can't honestly expect your GF to act like you are some poor student. You will have to give her some presents and stuff like that. Like buy her some jewel for $1k or something, or take her out to diner in the most fancy restourant in town. Make sure she knows you pay for it with your pokerwinnings, and she will definatly not wine again. She will probadly brag to all her friends about "yeah my BF bought me this, he makes tons of money every day! Just last week he made like $10k blablabla" This will also give you implied threesome odds

-Ok maybe u are lucky, but your luck is gonna run out so cash everything out while u still can.
-Is that real money?How do u cash out?Are u sure u can trust your money on the internet?
-If i give u 100$, can u double it up for me(i usually reply that if they give me 500$, i will shorstack 10/20 and they will get 40%, and nothing if i go busto)
-Why dont u buy a new car with all that money?
-In a homegame where i play 75/50, and lose alot, they start doubting if i really win so much, because they always win from me...

I don't think that the 'how much did you lose' question is necessarily that dumb when you tell someone about a win. Obviously if you're playing cash games it's nonsensical but for tourneys it can be valid, I mean say you win 1k you may have spent a few hundred in entries before you won that 1k.

never tell anyone...a few non-poker players found out i make more at cards than i do at work...holy ****, that was annoying with so much random comments from people...

Guess I better take my full tilt hat off around the public lol

Most people just think it's a game of luck.

"man but you know 8k is decent car, you better cash out before you lose everything"

Every time I've told someone it's

O'rly? You'd never belive it. I had this beat one time where [insert random standard beat here]. It's not so much the beat that bugs me, but listening to people explain to you their thought proccess, and misplaying everything. like ...

him- "So I hit a flush on the flop with my Q4s, and checked it"
me- "Why were you playing Q4s?"
him- "because it was sooted, and I like flushes"
me- "well then, that makes sense. Carry on"
him- "blah, blah, blah..... Do you believe he had the Ace of diamonds? Higher flush, has that ever happened to you?"


I don't know if I'm slowly becoming jaded or what. At the start I was like "Wow man that's crazy!" Now I pretty much just say if it's not really bad I've seen it before. That hint doesn't seem to be working since these people genuinly think their story is the craziest bad beat since the beginning of poker. I really want to just say" Honestly Dave, who gives a ****?" Then walk away but I'de feel like a dick. But it's freakin true.

are you JJProdigy?

i lol'd really hard. A++ for originality

when someone walks into my dorm room and they see me playing i always get the "OMFG, how the **** do you play 4 tables at one time?!" I respond with a "i'm smarter then you."

and you still have friends after doing this?

If She's hot, this is a great "in" and you should have banged her, If she's ugly just go to the bathroom and hope that when you come out she is gone,

My father has a best friend all the way from childhood to where they work for the same company today. My Dad's friend's Dad was somewhat of an alcoholic and lost alot of what they had playing poker and gambling while growing up . It's kinda rough when he just busts my Dad's balls w/ lines like "well my sons aren't lucky enough to win the lottery" etc etc. and my Dad can't reply. I mean, he can't directly insult his friend really no matter how true it is, right? Pretty lame situation for my Dad nowadays.

pretty proud of myself...lvled sponger ftw

I'm fairly certain I saw this on Law & Order. Can't be 100% sure, because of course I was playing poker online while the TV show was on.

i like to use a webcam when i play too... but i take a photo of my 85 year old grandmother,complete with baseball hat, dark shades and a cigarette in her mouth, and place it in front of the lens.

I was having a beer after playing golf with my father and they had a WSOP episode on the TV. There was some hand where they got it aipf QQ v. 99 and the guy looks at the screen and says "those percentages are wrong." So his friend says "what do you mean?" and the guys responds "he only needs one card to have a better hand. all he needs is a 9 and he'll win. There's no way the guy with queens is an 80% favorite."

I rep my FPP clothes hard, ya bitch i play online poker

i love people telling me people can hack your computer and see your hole cards. i just tell them thier 100% right so they feel smart... idiots

I think my mom is the best.

I was home for the holidays and went to Foxwoods to play in one of the dailies they have. 11th out of a field of 192. (20 places paid out)
my mom's 2 comments were:
how much did you have to spend to win that?
You're not addicted to gambling now are you?

I'm not a big stakes player, but I've played my entire online poker with my initial $20 deposit 4 years ago when I thought I'd "give poker a try"


The other most often question i've heard is "How much have you ever won at one time?"
I think people are scared when I tell them the story of how I had absolutely no real money, and rent was due in 3 days. but I had $60 bux in my TitanPoker account. i won a satellite into a tourney, where I placed 4th and was able to pay my rent and go out to dinner!
I mean, I was going to play anyways and there was no way I was going to make up almost $700 in 2 days (legitimately)... so I never understand the people who say that I should have at least taken that $60 out of my poker account, and that way I'd have to borrow (or steal) less. I mean come on, if I'm like can I borrow $700 or can I borrow $640, the answer is going to be the same either way.

I also play pretty crazy in the low-stakes games with friends, and sometimes go through a couple buyins. I do all sorts of fishy things like seeing every flop, minreraising trash, and overbetting the nuts. And flush draws are the nuts. I'm not sure if they believe me when I tell them I play online.