Why I don't tell people I play poker.
04-28-2010
, 01:31 PM
04-28-2010
, 01:36 PM
Quote:
I'll preface by saying it up front: tl;dr
I used to play professionally, now am more of a rec player who still puts in about 20 hours a week online at at the occasional casino. I made the mistake of telling ONE person that I played poker professionally (about 3 years ago), and it pretty much has trickled down to just about every person at the company, but it seems like a new person finds out every other day. Here is a summary of EVERY conversation I have had with someone who just found out I play/played poker:
Them: Hey? I just heard from <insert name here> that you play poker professionally
Me: I used to, not anymore (WTF do you think I am sitting in this office????????)
Them: I love watching it on TV. Were you ever on TV?
Me: Yes.
Them: Have I seen you on TV?
Me: I don't know. You tell me. The screen only works one way.
Them: Do you know <insert name of their good friend who plays at a local casino and once cashed in a tournament for $3.50>
Me: No. Do you know Brian Smith?
Them: No...who's that.
Me: My best friend from elementary school.
Them: Have you played in the WSOP?
Me: Yes.
Them: That's amazing. I want to play. I can't believe you shelled out so much money to play in a tournament!
---
Me: <old answer> I don't. I always satellite into big tournaments.
Them: How do you do that?
Me: <explain how satellites work> <Then explain again> <Then break out flow charts> <me realizing I just wasted 10 minutes of my life I will never get back> This is always followed by them saying that:
Them: I am going to do that!
---
Me: <new answer> Think of it as a business expense.
---
Them: What is the biggest pot you ever won?
Me: I dunno. somewhere around $10k.
Them: Wow. What is the biggest pot you ever lost?
Me: I dunno. Somewhere around $10k.
Them: Wow. That's alot of money. <Insert bad beat story where they tell me how they had AA and lost a hand one time>
Me: Wow. That has never happened to me before.
Them: Do you know any famous poker players?
Me: Yes.
Them: Who?
Me: Do you know who Izmet Fakali is?
Them: No.
Me: I know him. (*ed note: I do not know Izmet)
Them: Why did you give it up?
Me: (choose one: ) Wife wanted a house and it is hard to get a loan as a professional gambler; wanted to make sure I had stability for new baby; I was too happy playing poker and wife wanted me to become more miserable; went broke staking TJ Cloutier at craps.
Them: Do you still play?
Me: Yes
Them: How much do you make?
Me: More than I make here.
Them: Do you play online?
Me: Yes.
Them: How do you get your money? /Aren't you worried it is rigged? /Isn't that illegal?/ How do you know that every other play isn't cheating? / Do you play for real money? / How can you tell when people are bluffing? / I play online to for fake money and have made 100000000000000000 dollars...should I play for real?
Me: Yes, you should.
Them: My friend plays online and he says it is a lot of fun. Are you better than him?
Me: I don't know him, but yes.
Them: We should play some time so you can teach me.
Me: Coaching is $150/ hour.
Them: What?
Me: Sure that would be fun.
Them: How did you learn how to play?
Me: Studying WPT final tables on TV and writing down advice given by Vince Van Patten.
Them: We should have drinks some day...I'd love to hear more about this!
Me: Yeah. That would be great. But I also like shoving toothpicks in my eyes for laughs.
Them: Hey...if I gave you $50 could you run it up for me?
Me: Why don't you give me $50 and we'll see what happens.
Them: Will you double it?
Me: Probably not. Hard to double it in a bar.
Them: Well I better get back to work. Will chat soon, okay!
Me: Where's my $50?
I used to play professionally, now am more of a rec player who still puts in about 20 hours a week online at at the occasional casino. I made the mistake of telling ONE person that I played poker professionally (about 3 years ago), and it pretty much has trickled down to just about every person at the company, but it seems like a new person finds out every other day. Here is a summary of EVERY conversation I have had with someone who just found out I play/played poker:
Them: Hey? I just heard from <insert name here> that you play poker professionally
Me: I used to, not anymore (WTF do you think I am sitting in this office????????)
Them: I love watching it on TV. Were you ever on TV?
Me: Yes.
Them: Have I seen you on TV?
Me: I don't know. You tell me. The screen only works one way.
Them: Do you know <insert name of their good friend who plays at a local casino and once cashed in a tournament for $3.50>
Me: No. Do you know Brian Smith?
Them: No...who's that.
Me: My best friend from elementary school.
Them: Have you played in the WSOP?
Me: Yes.
Them: That's amazing. I want to play. I can't believe you shelled out so much money to play in a tournament!
---
Me: <old answer> I don't. I always satellite into big tournaments.
Them: How do you do that?
Me: <explain how satellites work> <Then explain again> <Then break out flow charts> <me realizing I just wasted 10 minutes of my life I will never get back> This is always followed by them saying that:
Them: I am going to do that!
---
Me: <new answer> Think of it as a business expense.
---
Them: What is the biggest pot you ever won?
Me: I dunno. somewhere around $10k.
Them: Wow. What is the biggest pot you ever lost?
Me: I dunno. Somewhere around $10k.
Them: Wow. That's alot of money. <Insert bad beat story where they tell me how they had AA and lost a hand one time>
Me: Wow. That has never happened to me before.
Them: Do you know any famous poker players?
Me: Yes.
Them: Who?
Me: Do you know who Izmet Fakali is?
Them: No.
Me: I know him. (*ed note: I do not know Izmet)
Them: Why did you give it up?
Me: (choose one: ) Wife wanted a house and it is hard to get a loan as a professional gambler; wanted to make sure I had stability for new baby; I was too happy playing poker and wife wanted me to become more miserable; went broke staking TJ Cloutier at craps.
Them: Do you still play?
Me: Yes
Them: How much do you make?
Me: More than I make here.
Them: Do you play online?
Me: Yes.
Them: How do you get your money? /Aren't you worried it is rigged? /Isn't that illegal?/ How do you know that every other play isn't cheating? / Do you play for real money? / How can you tell when people are bluffing? / I play online to for fake money and have made 100000000000000000 dollars...should I play for real?
Me: Yes, you should.
Them: My friend plays online and he says it is a lot of fun. Are you better than him?
Me: I don't know him, but yes.
Them: We should play some time so you can teach me.
Me: Coaching is $150/ hour.
Them: What?
Me: Sure that would be fun.
Them: How did you learn how to play?
Me: Studying WPT final tables on TV and writing down advice given by Vince Van Patten.
Them: We should have drinks some day...I'd love to hear more about this!
Me: Yeah. That would be great. But I also like shoving toothpicks in my eyes for laughs.
Them: Hey...if I gave you $50 could you run it up for me?
Me: Why don't you give me $50 and we'll see what happens.
Them: Will you double it?
Me: Probably not. Hard to double it in a bar.
Them: Well I better get back to work. Will chat soon, okay!
Me: Where's my $50?
You might come off as somewhat douche if you answer like that IRL tho
04-28-2010
, 02:38 PM
04-28-2010
, 03:02 PM
04-28-2010
, 04:50 PM
04-28-2010
, 07:32 PM
Quote:
I was at a house party once....girl overheard I played poker for a living...I was like F ME another boring night of explaining how you can actually make money playing poker 
BUT turns out she's from Las Vegas and her dad has been playing poker for a living for over 20 years
...we talk it up...get to know eachother..and that night I got a drunken bj ....best random hook up of my life
BUT turns out she's from Las Vegas and her dad has been playing poker for a living for over 20 years
...we talk it up...get to know eachother..and that night I got a drunken bj ....best random hook up of my life
04-28-2010
, 11:11 PM
05-04-2010
, 05:14 PM
