forget getting a job man this can be fun. I know a guy who does something similar to this (not in the poker world). He got like 120 bucks to shave his testies and eat the hair. Gross i know but seriously, poo on head is not a big deal. If you potentially want to make 5k you have to do somthing no one else....and that is take a bite out of it or something, that would get peoples interest
I think somebody should offer you 20k to eat the poo with the requirement that you have to play them heads-up for the 20k after you recieve it. So you would have the chance to win 40k, but in reality since you are this stupid and desperate for money you would essentially be eating the poo for free since you obviously are very poor at teh pokers, and not very intelligent either.