I used to think Omaha Hi/Lo was the most challenging and fun form of poker.

- Wonder how both I and my opponent could have less money than we started with when playing NL25 HU starting with $5 each after 10 minutes or so (never happened at Fun Money)
- Had no idea why a player had chosen the name SnGuyen and tried to pronounce it in my head
- Playing anything suited from any position at 9-handed NL25
- Openshoving flop for 15x pot with for example a set or some kind of draw
- Folding 3rd set on the turn on a non straight/non flush board 220bb deep
- Railing the $10/20 limit game that was the highest limit at PokerStars at the time wondering how people sometimes could fold the river for only $20 more in big $250+ pots

I started 18 months ago, depositing $50 2 or 3 times before I stuck. I started playing $1 SNGs and taking screenshots whenever I would place. I remember playing one $1 MTT all night til 7am to finish 6th and win $18. I ruled.

After a while I decided to play .05/.10 with a $100 BR. Eventually I went on a "massive downswing" to $80 and decided to gamble it up at 100NL. I won a 3-way pot all-in with the absolute nuts for $260. I then decided I "made it" and played 100nl FR just waiting for JJ+. I thought the "300bb rule" was for NL...

So I dare anyone to top the newbiness of these:

The setup hand that made me think I was a pro. Note the TEXAS CALCULATEM ODDS CALCULATOR:

I played golf off 6.

Now I dont think I could play to 16.

On the very first few days playing, my standard hand standards were "a picture card" as well as pairs. Can't remember how I rated suited connectors.

When I "learned how to play tight", my postflop standards were top pair or better - stack off almost always. Less than top pair - check/fold almost always.

-on pstars my friend staked me $2, I lost all but 40 cents, then built that up to $100
-on royal vegas poker (lolz) I started with the free $10 they give you and built it up to $800, then when they wouldnt let me withdrawal (shocker) I sat 5/10 and lost KK v AK all in on flop (ace on turn ldo)

Edit: My friend is now robusto, partially b/c of my staking, and I suck

I got 50$ at titan poker signing in with my mothers name ( underage playing ftw ), ran it up to 1k playing way over my limits ( + playing these stupid casino poker games ). One Night After partying I signed in drunk and tried just to play the 3 card draw poker game. Long Story Short 1.5K went busto in 5 Minutes.
I was in Shock afterwards, I literally just sat in front of my screen looking at the $0.00 not moving at all.

Ran $450 up to around $5,000 playing a lot of limit, cashed out all but $800.

Ran $800 up to around $4,500 again, decided to take a shot at $10/$20 limit. Ran bad, lost a few hundred. My shot turned into a tilt-induced meltdown. Proceeded to play $5/10 NL (even though I'd only played a couple hundred hands of $1NL.

Flopped a full house. Lost $1k.

Got KK preflop. Lost $1k.

Withdrew everything I had and took my family on vacation.

I 1 tabled.

$5.50 SnGs.

On Bodog.



For 18 months.





And made $100 (not including a $100 matching bonus I 'won' when started).


Let us never speak of it...

Live (4 years ago): played in a 10c/20c home game, and I remember my first hand. I knew I had three 10's, but I had no clue whether I should bet or not, so I just check-called to the river. Finished the night up $2, which was enough to pay for the gas used to get there.

Online (3 years ago): Deposited like $50 and started playing NL25 and $3 SnG's. I was getting pissed off at everybody calling my check-raise bluffs, lost my entire roll, and decided to start from scratch by playing in freerolls.

I grinded 50NL to 2K 4 years back and then played 100+9 SNGs lol. I'm so lucky everyone blowed back then for me to run good in those.

Lost in an uber high-stakes $20 live SNG at my place with friends when my JJ lost to 88 all-in preflop. Got me on lifetilt and I punched the guy that knocked me out and banned him from my house. I've never hit anyone in my life before or since then.

Also read Hold'em Poker for Advanced Players and Small Stakes Hold'em and thought they were no limit books.

Royal Vegas Poker ( Pokertime ) won't let you withdrawal?

My first time playing live I was playing in a fishy game of 3/6 limit. I was UTG in a 5-way pot and I hit a miracle on the river for the nut straight flush using one of my cards in a pretty decent pot. I checked into all four donks, and they all checked behind me. Furious, I slammed my one-card nut hand down on the table, after which the dealer informed me that showing only one card at showdown was equivalent to mucking, and the pot went to like third pair or some BS.

Got $15 free on prima. Sat in a 0.05/.10 PL game.

Knew what i was doing because I had played play money games on FTP for at least 3 weeks, and read a couple of websites that talked about odds and stuff.

Ran that $15 up to $50, mainly due to one large pot where I hit a 2 outer on the river.

Donked around playing .10/.20 limit (haha seriously), $1 sngs and freerolls.

Somewhere around the $300 mark discovered 2p2.

Never had to deposit any money thanks to that. It blows my mind that if i hadnt got insanely lucky and not lost my initial $15 id still be paying my way through uni working late nights a pizza shop for **** all money.

Ran good at micro-stakes then decided I was "good enough" to play with my roll.

Guess what happend.

Played play money for months and for fun at partypoker.
Deposited 50$ to party, played NL5 and got up to 75 in 3 days.
Then lost 10$ in 20 minutes, insta-life tilt and took my 65$ out in an eyeblink.
Didn't play online poker for 3 months.

-Started with $100.
-Had a great heater and run it up to $700 in a week.
-thought I was the **** and told everybody so
-used to browse 2+2 and think "this stuff is sooo basic, I'm already good and don't need this crap" (I was your typical 30/15/1.5 type...ugh)
-spent that year being a break even player and retracted my previous statement.
-got my **** together reading/posting/watching vids and became a solid grinder....woot.

Deposited monies. Played within my BR. Still have my BR. I drunkenly tilt off 15,000 FTP points trying to win a $25 token.

[x] perma-tilt for playing free rolls for tokens w/ FTP points
[ ] won $25 token
[x] rebuilt FTP point account

Also, first live session when I'm 21, 4-8 Limit game.
I limp call pf w/ 85 suited UTG + 1 in FR bc it makes so many big hands. 7 handed to the flop of 885 - c/c flop, c/c turn, c/r river at which point I'm shaking so bad that it looks like there's something seriously wrong w/ me. I scoop pot and people congratulate me on my sick slowplay. I'm so bad that I believe them and revel in my awesomeness for slowplaying my flopped boat in Limit holdem with like 1001 people in the hand. Afterwards I tell my 20-40 playing friend about my awesomeness and he just kinda of looks at me crooked and says something about 85s not being that great of a hand to play in early position. I think he's FOS bc I won the pot didn't I???

lost about 10K playing live 2/5 and 5/10 .. actually to beats but also playing super super laggy

bluffing people off hands and showing the whole table my cards.. sometimes going headsup with no pair/nodraw vs. someone with flopped set for $1000 aiof

turning 100 to 8000 on doylesroom by tilting and stepping up to 5/10 10/20 when i'd lose 100 or 200 bux

never heard of bankroll management before. never heard of pot odds or 2+2. never read a single book on poker, but still thought i was better than everyone in AC (which actually was 90% true).

[x] thought I was a balla for winning $5 in a $1 sng.

in the summer of 2004 someone playing at my freeroll table on stars sent me $20... i sent $2 to rivermetimbers and then lost about $17 leaving me with around $1... i managed to barely stay afloat (by taking 10% of his profit ldo) and grinded out 1 table of 2NL at a time... i would just limp 90% of hands and if i flopped top pair or better i would just go all in... eventually i had enough money for the 6.50 1 table turbos ($50)... i still remember the first time i got a straight flush online... 6.50 turbo and i doubled utg with JTs (what else would i do?) got 6 callers and turned the straight flush... i was so proud of myself

oh yeah.. i knew the schedule for all the NL freerolls on stars by heart and used to rush home from school on certain days to play them and would also stay up really late on the weekends playing the ones that started at like 3am

Started with 100 on fulltilt.
No rakeback (oops).
Dropped to 20 within a week.
Luckboxed sngs to get to 100 again.
Swongs/monkey tilt from 100-730, to 130. Smashed lotion bottles.
Cashout, play at bodog. Profit.
Now i play overrolled as hell (50+ BIs). Working out better.

Started off playing LHE on Betfair and didn't have a clue what I was doing. I relied on the software providing my hand strength in the corner of the screen a lot. Whenever it said pair or better I would bet/call every street. Lost a lot with junk hands on paired boards.

When I didn't know what to do I'd usually just copy my opponent, if he checks I would check and if he bets I'd call. Can't remember folding too much. I'd play two tables and look at my stack sizes to see if I had made or lost money.

lol this is so awesome man. So awesome because I have done this too. Usually saved them to a word file lol.