You know you could make a living like this. It tilts me more when someone doesn't let me double down their 7-2 against the dealer's 4. "What if I want to take another card?". Seriously? You're gonna give up 1 unit of positive expectation just in case a deuce falls? It's even worst when it's Ace-6 against a 5 or something that would draw one and only one card no matter what.

Other things people at the blackjack table say/do that tilt me:

"18 is a winning hand" when standing on A7 against the dealer's 10 on not doubling down against 4-5-6.

Anyone standing on 16 against a 7+ up card.

Anyone standing on 12 against a 2.

When drawing a stiff against 9/10, making 17 and doing the fist-pump-stand signal.

When people act as if the cards were alive and were set up to make everyone win and the Casino lose. Eg: You skip a hand or join mid-shoe, "Now you will confuse the cards".

People playing roulette betting almost every single number and in between. Seriously how stupid can someone be? Of course the ball always lands on the ONE number no one picked.

People saying they have a fool proof system at Roulette that just CANNOT LOSE.

Old fat poker players who sit backwards in the chair and lean into a table. (x2 if said player has a toothpic or unlit cig in his mouth)

Old ladies who feed hundreds into dumbass slot machines

Craps players who take too long placing bets by betting ******ed center bets. Don't you know the house edge is like 16% on those bets? fakkk

5. Listen to self considered top shots such as frankenberger talkin about how he has never been caught bluffin and how he has just beaten ivey headsup. Or gallen hall talkin about how huge his edge in NLSD27 is.

4. have Andy and another bragging ****** at my table at the same time.

3. Rest of the table beeing very amazed by the outstanding skills of mr frankenburger

2. Minutes later, while making the money in a wsop event, everyone else (mostly amateurs) is cheering, except mr. A.F. sayin "cmon guys its just 2000$$!!!"

1. Realizing I cant turn this on mute since we have just reached the money and headphones are not allowed anymore.


well at least making the money compensated me for going on monkey tilt.

I was playing 1/3 NL and a drunk girl and her boyfriend who looks like a cracked out perv sat down. I straddle and crackhead limps and it gets folded to me. I have AQ and raise, he calls 20 but leaves 30 behind. I didn't realize he was so short. So he just flatted about half his stack. Flop comes low cards but half his money is in so I put him all in. He thinks about it and calls. Board runs out and I obviously miss. I say Ace high and he shows me k5s hitting a pair of 5's on the flop. His gf says, "that'll teach you to straddle". I go further on tilt.

That is so lame, i would probably go on tilt after hearing that. Makes you want to choke him to death.

Shoulda told him to openfold his queens

When players say they have two pair at showdown when the board is paired. NO **** YOU HAVE TO PAIR YOU ****ING **********

Also at showdown when two idiots won't just turn over their ****ing cards, and they start saying what they have with a good kicker, decent kicker, or bad kicker and the other player does the same and they take 6 excruciatingly long seconds to turn over their ****ing cards.

stupid fat **** sucking mother****ers.

This also pisses me off. For example on a 466AT board I'll watch two players going at it and on showdown player 1 will say "two pair". I'll think oh wow he must have AT or something, but turn over 45 rofl and player 2 will win with A-rag. God players are stupid

eating at the table w/o washing there hands. i've seen some of these scumbags licking the juice off there fingers after finishing there beef sandwich.

"guess it's just not my night" as he calls off with only the second best full house.

"time to go home" as he shoves pre with QQ.

A nit who calls himself a "spew master"

Oh and open shoving for 200 at 2/5nl and saying "come get some!" then once everyone folds, shows AA and says "cmon there's no action at this table."

Also, guys who come equipped with a backpack, seat cushion, beats headphones, sunglasses, iPad and gallon of water.

We should be friends

Those guys usually suck though so I am conditioned to like seeing them arrive. However what does tilt me is when on occasion the girlfriend sits behind in the same chair as the dude. The couple morphs into some kind of man/woman beast with two heads and four arms. He is checking his cards with two hands and all of a sudden you see a third hand start shuffling chips and a fourth hand picking up the cell phone. This doesn't happen too often but when it does I have to transfer.

Which by the way what is the wisdom of putting your cell on the table? Just a negative freeroll as far as I can tell. Add that to the list- people coming back to the table in a panic asking if anyone has seen their cell.

ya something about these guys just makes me want to smash my beer bottle on their ipad screen and toss their beats headphones into the tall grass.

-When someone limps with aces, gets 6+ callers, gets cracked and goes on a 10 minute rant about how unlucky he is.

-When the entire game consists of only limped multi-way pots, so I wait for a good hand... raise it, get a bunch of callers, hit top pair, but lose to some ****head who called my only raise in 2 hours with 93o but hit 2 pair.

-When someone tries to explain the right decision to me... when it's clearly wrong.

-When the drunk fish is spewing money but folds ONLY when I get a hand.

-When the rake is 10% up to 3bb's (well, that's more like perma-tilt).

I don't mind people tilting. Makes them easier to play against.
Do you think he was paying attention to the fact that it was your first raise in 2 hours?
Take his maney.
DING DING DING DING! We have a winner. That tilts me more than losing.
Why would you ever play at a game with a $15 rake? The worst place in my town is $14 rake with unlimited free food and drinks.

It's actually a $7 rake in a 1/3 game... and I don't play in it anymore. I just stay at home thinking about how there isn't a poker environment as profitable as Pokerstars anymore (U.S. player). Although to be fair, their rake isn't all that much better for a micro player like me.

$180 satty into $1,550 Main Event. It pays 2 main event seats and $1,300 to third. We're 4-handed; one other guy and I have 40% of the chips each, third guy has 18%, fourth guy has (literally) 3BBs.

I raise the BTN to put Mr. 3bb all-in. He folds though and the idiot with chips calls in the BB. Flop is whatever the hell it is (does it even matter??) and he open shoves about 4x the pot.

Amazing.

Lol, Oh man, I wish you would have had quads so u could snap and call him the world's dumbest shythead ever. What a moron.

can't happen with couple of millions players ps has.

fish who sighs and reacts ******ed when they fold cause obv the hand that they folded hit the flop

Satty on Stars, 2 places paid we are 3. Short stack is sitting out/disconnected. I have 1200 and the other guy has 1000. We take turns stealing until I have 1700, short stack has 75 (1.5 BB and sitting out) and the other guys has about 700.

It is the shorties' BB, I'm BTN. I min raise. The med-stack shoves! Before hitting "fold" I ponder for a second and call with my K4. He had A4. I spike a king and knock him out to bubble under a sit-outter with 1/2 BB.

It was satisfying but at the same time dumb. What if I had lost the showdown and shorty reconnected between the preflop and the board/showdown to double up a few times? Whereas in the other scenario he was out in 1 hand.

Did you have a stack bigger than the moron by more than 3 BB? If so, you had to call with any straight draw, FD, or top pair+.

omg the phrase UTG is such advanced poker knowledge, shame on them for daring to utter that and scare off da noobs!