1) D-bags going "sigh" or "oh man WTF" really loud when the flop hits 55A or 444, (or they would have made the turn card had they called preflop) and its a HU 3b pot between me and someone else.

2) Dudes riding bitch with other dudes

3) Sunglasses at 2/5 or 5/5NL(or an limit really)

4a) Tank-folds everytime there is a pf open in front of offender
4b) Tank-folds everytime villain c/r otf.

5) Reading any new thread started by 2+2 username "Acesflow" on my iphone app in between live hands.

6) Fat dudes that cant keep fat legs in front of seat, forcing me to sit 4 ft away from table

7) Hairy Persian dudes taking shirts off during massage at table(seen some serious back and shoulder wool at Commerce a few times). I am pretty sure this should be forbidden.

8) Dealers who are chatting it up and expose the turn card before the action completes when we have a monster or drawing to a monster in a big pot.

9) Site of dudes getting massages by other dudes creeps me out a bit.

10) Dudes that sneeze into their hands when sick then grab chips and/or cards immediately after.

11) Dudes that spill booze onto felt and are not immediately life-banned from casino.

12) Nit-rolls

13) Folds around to fish on btn when i am in SB or BB and he decides to just call and play for 50cents in 2/5 game d/t rake drop(maybe biggest tilter of them all for me).

14) Fish that say, "oh man, i would have had 2pair with my J3o had I called." I always say, "oh yeah, you should call that next time".

15) Dudes that play 1 orbit and then leave for 20 mins, rinse and repeat for 5 hrs.

16) Fish exposing hands face up intentionally when mucking because they wanted to play for treat and a 3 or 4bet has just been made.

Alot of 2 pairs ITT

Omg this this this!!

You sound like my fish friend.

And who will pay to look after you when you're retired? Got a big private pension? No? Are you going to turn down state hand outs? No? Didn't think so. Maybe you're counting on your kids to look after you. Nice, turning children into a EV move for retirement.

What about your grandparents/parents (depending on your age)? Where are they living and how are they supporting themselves?

Stay classy, Kazzle.

It doesn't tilt me, but it is really annoying/sad when guys bring their girlfriends/wives to the poker table and have her sit behind him for hours. It's obvious that the wives/girlfriends are bored out of their minds. FFS show her a good time instead of being selfish and playing poker all day.

They always bet double amount on the river.

1. My best friend is really bad player with no fundamentals at all. One day I called his raise with Q9s, hit 2 pair. He bets, I raise, he ships it with AA, i call. Obv. the board pairs giving him better 2 pairs and he roars in joy. His stack is huge now and 10 hands in a row he's announcing: "This hand I'm gonna bluff!" He does it and gets away with it every time.

2. In my homegame we play dealer's choice and invent new games every time. The latest trend is games like Omaha H/L with 6 cards where you can take 2 - 4 cards of your hand. Every hand takes 10 minutes because everybody is smoking dope instead of me. Takes another 5 minutes to split the pot.

3. The guys that look at their cards forever every single ****ing hand before folding preflop. And you know they will fold. And the one time you think 2 minutes over a decision they scream: "TIME!"

Or when people treat a homegame like a fuxkin real game wanting to take 5 minutes on a decision.

Exactly! I can see ****ing Chris Ferguson in front of me wanting to slap his ****ing emotionless face. And I didn't even play on FT.

Pray to God

^ Combined with your avatar, I like that. "STFU, you can't have the damn river card!"

Wish i found this thread sooner.. good read.

Why not grind some poker and get some cudi afterwards? Plus the girl friend might like and enjoy the game but don't want to be stake just yet by me so they wait and watch.

When a player sits and thinks for 2 minutes about what to do, AFTER there has already been 3-6 players with action in front of him, thus giving him even MORE time to contemplate, and then he asks the dealer "time" while he stares at his cards and the board alternately, wishing one of them will change... Fkn annoys me so badly. Sir, you already had 5 minutes....

Playing a live donkament I raise with JJ in mp, seat on my left ponders a call, seat on his left says "if you call, I'll call" while I'm protesting the dealer let's this all happen. As the flops being put out I shout on floor, he says play the hand out we'll deal with it after. I get all in on low board, lose to a turned flush and it goes completely unpunished lol. Spew.

Sometimes they like to watch, but I can guarantee you that most of the time they'd rather be somewhere else.

Yeah they would rather be gettin pounded in the backseat of my 56'

The guy with the gigantic watch covered in "diamonds" playing 1/2.

Exactly. Anything but watching a boring card game hahaha.

**** off.

I meant that for most girlfriends/wives, they'd rather be out doing something else instead of sitting behind their partner and watching him play cards. They don't enjoy it, and it's annoying for me to watch them be so bored.

I'm sorry if my post upset you.

I c ur new..

basic rule in BBV : NEVER apologize to anyone

Instead u should be telling him to suck a dick or *suck your grapes.

notsureifserious. I call time after 5 seconds. Guy doesnt even get his cards and I call it

Def. a fan of this^....I snap called clock on villain yesterday after he took more than 4 secs to call my turn shove of $625 into a pot of $610 when I had the nuts....this visibly tilted villain, he folded, and went on monkey tilt. Will be using the 5 second rule with increased frequency from now on.