Wtf stop tapping the tank!!?

Seriously, I don't know who's the bigger idiot, you or him.

This is probably the only situation where I will berate other players. When players start doing this, I say in the meanest possible voice, "Turn the goddamn cards over."

If I'm in a hand and someone even starts talking about it, I will *instantly* interrupt loudly: PLEASE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE HAND SIR.

Damn. At least in the future I'll be certain that an overbet reraise is obv top top. And I was working under the assumption that I might be up against a broader range.

Got to love BBV strategery.


Text results appended to pokerstove.txt

1,917,972 games 0.048 secs 39,957,750 games/sec

Board: 3s 5d 6c
Dead:

equity win tie pots won pots tied
Hand 0: 58.698% 58.51% 00.19% 1122216 3589.00 { KK+ }
Hand 1: 23.207% 22.49% 00.72% 431280 13828.00 { JJ-66, 33, A7s-A6s, K7s, Q7s, J7s, T7s, 97s+, 87s, 76s, 65s, 54s, A7o-A6o, K7o, Q7o, J7o, T7o, 97o+, 87o, 76o, 65o, 54o }
Hand 2: 18.095% 17.37% 00.72% 333231 13828.00 { 9s8s }


---

1,820,448 games 0.047 secs 38,732,936 games/sec

Too much strategy in BBV,
not sure, why your stove is wrong, but I get much more equity when running with your ranges:

ProPokerTools Hold'em Simulation

6,284,880 trials (Exhaustive)

board: 673

Hand	Pot equity	Wins	Ties
89s	34.07%	2,127,288	27,360
JJ-66, 33, A7s-A6s, K7s, Q7s, J7s, T7s, 97s, 87s, 76s, 65s, 54s, A7o-A6o, K7o, Q7o, J7o, T7o, 97o, 87o, 76o, 65o, 54o	24.06%	1,498,494	27,360
KK-AA	41.87%	2,631,738	0

... what is also pretty plausible as you have an OESD to the nuts (=30% as usual) with some extrachances (overcards) (=+some percent), total of something like 34% what is always good enough 3handed.

Once upon a time there lived one of those guys that looks at his poker paper playing cards once at a time. This gentleman dealer was pitching the cards to the competition exceptionally fast. I would like to dictate however that this is all the employee mastered, the rest of his ability was mere quaffle!

Back to the tale, the third card hit me in the finger and caused severe injury. I stumbled, but gathered my composure as I was looking at the next card, a card of the face King. I promptly labelled my holding 'King number 2'. The excitement that I experienced in that moment caused me to look up just as the gentleman dealer pitched me yet another card which inexplicably I will don with the name 'Card number 4'.

I was shocked, as were my competition companions. Me and a couple other fellows at the table vocalised questionably, commenting, "Zounds! What the blazes are you doing sir?" But like James Bond just escapes from the crushing pressure of a ten ton door slowly closing, other fellows found themselves in possession of more cards that they had anticipating, breaking the first written principle rule of Unlimited Texas Hold'Them Poker Variant - "You must have more than once card, and less than thrice before engaging in orderly transactions with tabled competition".

Nowadays as I sip on my Quiche and nibble my glass of Rose I laugh. Last Christmas time my family arrived for a traditional meal, how they laughed in the pretty frocks as I recited this exciting chapter, shadows thrown across a small cosy room backed with the crackling whip of flames. I was wearing many robes that night as I anticipated chill, how robed I felt that night.

nh

One of the only things that really annoys me in live play is this:

Whenever it's a standard flip. Like KT v 44. The dealer spreads the flop, we see Kx first.......ok so opponent drawing to a 4 most likely.....ANOTHER K OMFG HE HIT TRIP Ks WOTTTT

It's so funny to see how demoralized the person who has 44 looks when the second K hits, like he's been struck in the vagine.

Yeah i remember an all in A10 vs AK on K 10 6, the turn comes another 6, and A10 says "oh iv got 2 pair now" somehow thinking she is now winning

Wow if you change your hand from an OESD to a gutshot, you lose half your equity. Who would have thought???

LOL

No reship with 89, getting AA-kk nit to fold and idiot with A7o to call?

Went to the casino tonight. Played one hand at the table in the last 20 minutes and showed down KK to double up. In BB with AK suited. UTG (foreigner that speaks broken english) raises to 12, 2 calls, I pop it to 45. He tanks and says "you have kings again?" OK, I call. 10J2, he checks, I bet 45. He calls and has like 45 left so I know he will call my allin. check/check turn. check/check river. He shows AJ, I show AK. Then he says "I wish ace come on turn or river and I get the rest of your money." I just look at him and say, "And I wish you weren't such an *******."

-People (usually old ladies) that bet the same continuation amount for 3 streets, regardless of pot size.

-Min-raisers

-People that bet $6 on the turn into a $75 pot with 7 people in the hand and POT the river.

-The inverse slowroll. I don't mind slowrollers that much as they usually do it to put people on tilt and it usually gets a funny conversation going. But what tilts me the most is punks that come in at the 1/2 game after reading a few articles and learning the game on TV thinking they're the best and when they have the nuts, how they insta-call a shove without missing a beat. "All-in-caah", as to say "I think I am the best and I come here because I think I can play Poker for a living and never have to work again so I will go out of my way to not slowroll so that I don't risk getting kicked out of the place".

^ If you don't mind slowrollers you must not have been properly slowrolled before.

ive notced lately that old men love to "donk bet" aka lead out into my pots. and for some reason, this angers me greatly, regardless of my hand

- When people say "Oh i should have called, my J3o would have hit this JJ3 flop so hard"
- People that complain about not getting cards
- people that complain when you raise PF/c-bet
- people that tell you "why did you fold so fast ?"
- People that think they are amazing players and start to tell you how you play the hand wrong. The winner for this goes to some old 50 year old guy with like 25BB who tells me I can't play poker because I'm value betting trips, instead I should check the wet board 4way to induce bluffs.
-People that always wait until other people show their cards, even if they have the nuts.
-People that get it in behind and when win, throw the cards on the table while slamming their fist on it "FULL HOUSE I WIN"
- In a multiway pot, when you bet 2/3 pot and someone calls but only have 3blinds left after the call. Instead of raising they just call.
- People that try to explain their reasoning behind calling a 4b OOP with K6o because it's a hand that makes bad beats.
- People that bet, and when everyone folds, show theur 4th pair No kicker and say "I wasn't bluffing I had it"

in home games when the dealer doesnt scoop the muck, they grab their folded hand and show you, making you an accomplise to the F-ed up hand for the guys actually still playing it.

in live casino games, they whisper in your ear while the hand is still going, stfu. then they dont shut up after the hand is over, and you have to say something like "ohh, J3...well, it was a good fold" dumbass

Short-stackers that bet 80% of their remainning stack on the turn and check down the blank river with 2 bb's left behind... and get checked to. They don't reload.

Classic case of this a few weeks ago. I underestimated a guy's stack by about $10. Thought I bet enough on the turn to put him all-in and he just called with $10 behind in a $300+ pot. Assuming he had a flush draw b/c he folded when I bet the river, saving $10 after already putting about $150 in.

Usually when someone does it on purpose, the table jumps in calling him a scumbag and it's fun to watch him explain himself or how entertaining things become.

What I really hate it getting nitrolled. ie: Someone flats your river bet with what is pretty close to the nuts and you think you're good because he just called.

Eg: I have nothing, board is JJ38A, 3 of the same suit and I bet the river after checking 2 streets. He thinks and thinks and then flats with the K-high flush.

People who have rituals when checking their hole cards, such as squeezing out the first card, then shuffling the two ****ing cards for 20 seconds before finally looking at both of them and folding.

Killin people just to see the look on the faces

I was at the casino last week after some drinks playing 1/2 and was fairly aggressive.

I was in the BB and squeezed with 64o after CO and BTN raised and called. This was my 2nd 3bet preflop in 15 minutes. They both folded. The CO looked at UTG and had the following conversation:

CO: Did you take note of that?
UTG: Yup.
*after next hand is folded around*
CO: We don't play poker like that here.
Me: Like what?
CO: That going all-in crap before the flop. That's for TV. (keep in mind I bought in full and didn't re-raise all-in)
Me: Oh
CO: It's not poker. It's cheating.
Me: I'm sorry. I didn't know the rules here.

Between the drinks and what I just heard I thought my head would asplode. I wish there was more to the story but I left within an hour of sitting down since the heavy drinking was kicking in and my buddy wanted to leave anyway. If only it was a different circumstance and I could have stayed there since I'm sure it would have been lulz.

I love the table police irl that one would find at play money tables online.

C'mon, man, don't you know the rules? You gotta let everybody get their chance to see the flop, otherwise it's not fair. After all, NLHE should be just like bingo played with cards and chips.

I wouldn't have been able to stop laughing if I was in your spot.