I would love to have added that we got into a blazing gun fight in the end, where random old men were shot in the hip, and cards were seen flying everywhere, and in the end.. There I stood, on top of a bunch of corpses as a burning ace of spades came flying down and i caught it with my bionic arm..


Unfortunately, there wasn't any confrontation.

I just figured i'd post it because there's a pretty good chance that someone might of known who I am talking about and would of gotten a nice laugh out of it.

3. Slamming the table. One fish last night every time he checked he would tap the table. Fine. Except he slammed it making the whole ****ing table shake. Omg that tilted me so hard.

And people flipping over 1 card when allin on a 467ccc board. He flips open a 5c, no 3,8 or club hits the board, im happy. Then he turns over the 9c along with his 5c. FML, the fat bastard!
Story is cooler with images

bulba bulba

I got a nice laugh out of visualizing a semi-demented russian guy following you from table to table, how strange it would have felt, and imagining him saying "rrrrrrrrraaise" with a gruff russian accent! Haters gonna hate, it was a cool story bro.

Not much for live poker?

This have probaly already been mentioned, but just in case. On a board reading 9,9,2,10 the ultra nit who called ur preflop raise and ur con. bet on the flop, then after u have c/f ur ak on turn, shows u an 8 or something with a smuck smile like he just pulled the best bluff all night... I KNOW U HAD 8,9 u ****ING DONKEY, DONT PRETEND LIKE U EVER ****ING PULLED A BLUFF IN UR LIFE!§!"§!"§()!"

And in genreal people just showing one card who didnt connect on the board, after u have folded!! I mean if u ****ing bluffed me, why didnt u show two cards u ****ing moron!??? U ALWAYS have an ****ing pair with ur other card, and no u aint ****ing funny!!!

1. when old men who cant even spell poker consantly slowroll u with a smile on there face.
2. when people stand up and cheer when they win a 500 bb pot against you in a cash game
3. when players always get pissed when the folded a hand pre and it woulda nailed flop.

people who shuffle their whites and reds together and then take 30 seconds separating them when it's their turn, so they can then call the bb. jesus, just put the chips out first. or don't shuffle them together in the first place

Someone has probobly said this but when you are the button and it is folded to you and BB fish calls. The flop comes middle pair for you AQ6. You let out a continuation bet and they call. On the turn, a blank comes up and you fire another barrell a little higher. They call. The river comes blank and you give up and check. The whole hand they have been agonizing calling and betting and then they finally let out a
minimum bet on river after ou checked. I tilted so bad and raised and he called with 88. :d this has happened more than once but the last time it happened that guy looked like he was pissed at the world when thr dealer shipped me that pot

When that happens I just wanna punch the ****ing ********** in the balls. Wait, you said you were BTN, wouldn't you have position on him? How can he bet riv AFTER you checked?

- People that call your c-bet, your turn c/r and your river POT sized bluff with bottom pair on a 4-flush, after holding their cards horizontally for 20 seconds.

- When you go all in with your overpair on the turn and the old fart with Parkinson's desease asks "how much", dealer answers, he nods "yes, I will follow him". He has the nuts.

- Tables with more than 3 Asians that are not fishes. 90% of the time they are colluding, especially when one is a woman.

- Black kids with a fro, a baseball cap with shiny scripts above the fro and 8 chains. I dunno I just can't compute the scenario in my brain. Most of them are short-stackers and fold after flat calling a 3-bet from early position.

- Middle-aged men with glasses (geeks or nerds) that giggle like 9-year-old girls.

lol, so true. Seen this happen a lot and it just wastes everyones time, very tilting.

this too

all of this

if your not slowing the game down, I don't have a problem with this.

hand in a 1/2 game

me utg with pocket 10's

raise to 10 dollars

all fold, except 2 callers

flop 9 7 4 rainbow

i bet 20
1 fold
1 call

turn 2 or 3 cant remember

i check
he bets 45
i call

river king

he goes all in

"wow thats so sick you hit ur king"

i fold
he shows king queen

"i wasnt folding king queen, its a premium"

I hate hearing an opponent make a crying call saying "I know you have me beat, but I have to call". The happens when I am bluffing and seems to never happen when I have the nuts.
Why wouldn't middle pair or a straight be good with four to a flush on board?

You're the douche in this.

He bets heavy on rags, I call. He checks rag-turn I bet heavy. River is a face/ace and the nit insta-goes "that's so sick you hit your King". Sure moron, I called your UTG raise and your c-bets with K-high, K9, K4, K3 or K2.

Your read just happened to be right that time. He did in fact have K-high and you should be happy to have players like that at the table.

People that limp and flat with AK+ and then slow-play till the river and min raise.

People that verbalize their entire thought process every freaking time somebody raises them. STFU already no one cares and you slow the game down.

This tilts me for some reason:

Someone at the table overbets or shoves on the end with K3, like it is the nuts, on a KKXXX board (three kings with no kicker), gets called an drags the pot. It don't really tilt me but it sure makes me want to vomit lol.

when i've been playing for hours and hours and am up 2bbs from being disgustingly card dead, then sum fish sits down and triples up within 14 seconds

when someone needs to tank before shoving after i bet more than half their stack and they show AK on a AK7 board or something and i say "what ya thinking about? you have the nuts" and someone says "that's not the nuts, 3 aces is the nuts"

I can't stand players that have to show the player to his right or left "one" of his cards as he folds. If you want to show your discards, show both cards to everyone at the table. Not fair to give added information to just one other player and not the whole table.

I'm all in, Villain has me covered by at leats 3x. He pushes the rest of his stack in with both hands in slow motion, the only other person in the hand has $20 left. I mean look at this ******. I got $120, he's got about $400, all he has to do is "CALL", but no, he thinks he's all TV. You just know he's got the nuts. It doesn't end here. He is now recultant to show his hand. He finally opens up one and you're thinking "thank God" but thr other one if the same for top set.

like 10:1 nl:limit players here probably.

limit sh*t that is annoying :

1. the "methodological bets" ... i.e. player very slowly, every time, slowly moves the stack of chips out, slowly counts out four, then another four in consecutive piles (if raising) etc.

2. players squeezing cards only when action gets to them (squeezing = doing the whole slowly looking at the very very corners like they do in draw games to increase suspense i guess) and slow the game down

3. guys who elbow nudge you w/ a punchline to a joke or "sick beat"

4. i think been said but guys who hit on waitresses like they know them.

nothing there causes actual 'tilt' but yea those are annoying

Barron