I'll piggyback off of this one. If you are too fat/out of shape that you can't get from your car to your seat without breaking a sweat and breathing heavy then at least do me the courtesy of recognizing it's not my fault you can't fit in your seat (and pop in a breath mint or at least take the one I offer you).

Don't ask me to crowd the guy on the other side of me because you need "a bit more room".

I'm not fat shaming/hating, we all have our vices. I tend to drink too much, but I do it at home where it doesn't bother anyone else.

I can not stand when my opponent bets on the river and I proceed to call. Then they sit there staring at me waiting me to show/expose my hand. No dude, I called you, YOU FLIP YOUR CARDS FIRST.

^^^^^^ this
Or worst you call and ask what I have

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I totally hate when players stand up for prolonged periods. I really don't like complaining, I try to avoid it at all costs; but when a guy is standing up in a seat next to me/close to me, it is very distracting. Worse, it increases the tension level at the game (people afraid the dude standing up is going to try and look at their hole cards), so it's bad for the game.

When someone hogs the cashier's line to cash in their $0.45 voucher from the penny slots.

There is one in front of me as I type this. As I get closer to offer him to buy his stupid voucher for $1 (so I can sleep an extra 5 minutes), I noticed that it's actually a voucher for



It's a good thing his fugly gf came to grab him and they both left the line up because I was just just about to go on a berating rampage on this ****ing peasant. Right here right in the middle of the casino.

I would be tilting at the casino staff taking 5 minutes to cash a voucher rather than the guy with the voucher.

Sloppy, belligerent drunk players that slow the game down.

People that smell.

Husband and wife playing together. Because eventually, they always fight.


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The slurping noodle soup eaters...

well, that actually could turn out to be hilarious

I've learned to just look the other direction when it folds around to my wife in the small blind and she limps...then calls the BB raise.

I, too would be tilting at the casino, for not having enough ballbuster machines to cash the vouchers.

"Fold"

Dealer: "Pass me the cards"

And the idiot who is to act actually ****ing waits for the folded player to "pass the cards". f o

Pretty sure if I met MTT and had to listen to him like 5 mins IRL it would tilt me a like thousand times more than anything has ever tilted me at a casino

Yeah this +1000

"So I was in the cafe last night grinding the game, as you do"

"Wait doesn't that cafe shut at 5pm?"

"It's always night in the poker room bro. So yeah as I was saying I was grinding the game and I flop a set of jacks. Easy game. I check back the flop to let "the vill" bet the turn so he can find out where he's at"

"Wait what's the v-, actually, never mind go on"

"So yeah "the vill-"

"Come on dude no one call-"

"Stfu it's about to get seriously sick, this isn't just your everyday poker hand. So the villain bets pretty big on turn, it's a brick so I'm not worried, I still have top set. I just call because I want him to bluff river. The river falls and he jams for 28, it's three to a straight with no flush draws and immediately I go into the tank and start tilting"

"Wow **** man, that is actually pretty sick, 28 dollars must be a pretty big overbet for the stakes you're playing, what was the pot on river like 6?"

"It was 28 cents."

"Wait what?!"

"Yeah the river jam was 28 cents"

"The pot must of been a few dollars man how the **** did this even happen? More importantly, what the **** are you waiting for?"

"I just had a massive feeling I was beat man. I just looked at him and he gave me the same look he gave my mum and dad when he came around to my pad-

"Your parents house"

"It's my pad man"

"Dude you live in the ****ing basement of your parents house and there's mold all over the walls.. and you've got a ****ing cum stain on the cover of that "Ace on the river" book, I know your gay and all and that's fine but Barry dude? Didn't know you were into bestiality"

"Yeah yeah whatever, anyway the vill came around for a BBQ a couple months ago, I overheard that a spit roast was on offer but I never saw anything of the sort, just the usual **** burgers and hot dogs. But yeah he just gave me the exact same look he gave me that whole afternoon. I knew he just hit his gutshot.."

"Come on man, you must be getting like 40 to one"

"I folded and showed him my hand"

"And??"

"Well he didn't show but I'm pretty sure I saved myself 28 cents. I felt pretty crazy after folding and thought it would be best to use my comps to get my favourite m-"

"What comps? When did the cafe ever do comps, it's a ****ing cafe and they don't even get any of the rake, it goes to some random Persian guy who runs the game doesn't it?"

"Well it's not really comps but every so often I pool some money together and treat it like a comp. I like to think that very 28 cents went into that lasagna I ate later on that night"

"It's not nigh-, **** it I don't even care anymore.."

"So yeah their lasagna is the nuts man, I ask them to chuck it in the freezer for me 30 minutes before I chow down so it also acts like a dessert, you know the whole ice lolly thing, I'm actually thinking of going on Shark Ta-"

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK"

Are you mrwong?

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BOOOOO!


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This wins the thread!

Everything about the cash out lines at the Borgata. I've been to casinos all around the world but never I have experienced such a mess that exists at prime time on Saturday night at the borgata cash out windows.

I mean you have all the normal characters. The stimmed out line jumpers, the old Asian lady cashing out 25 vouchers ranging from $.35 to $1,100, the cash advance junkies doing the degen thumbprint on their cash advances, and then the normal people just trying to cash out their chips from a table win.

I decided to grab a drink and just watch the area for 15 mins after I finally cashed out my chips. It was entertaining to see how tilted people got lol.

You should have the misfortune to win money at a locals casino on a Friday. You will be in line behind 20 people cashing their paychecks. Then, after each one shows 2 forms of ID, is fingerprinted, and haggles with the cashier over whether this employer's checks are accepted, they then have to enter the Paycheck Sweepstakes which involves pushing a button and spinning the wheel in the hope of winning 500 Slot Points (worth $0.50).

This is so accurate. I'm dying right now. There's also that 1 angry person per 30 minutes and I can never get what they're going on about.

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"how much is it?"
"$18 sir"
*Takes two reds and puts them out

"Eighteen dollars sir, you only put ten"

*takes another red and tosses out*

"Three more whites sir"

*Throws in two whites*

"You're still missing one dollar"

"I don't have"

"Just leave a red chip and we'll give you change"

*Puts up red chip*

"you can take your whites back"

*Reaches for whites, stares stupidest*

"Those are yours take them back"

*Dealer makes change and gives two more whites back*

"That's mine? I already took"

"That's your change sir"

*Deals flop*

"Check or bet"

"I already put"

...

$3 don't pass bettors at the craps table, who take no odds and celebrate when they win their $3 bet...tilting

When fish says "pop it!" every time they raise. You're popping my bet? Wtf. My bet is still sitting right there, you didn't pop anything tiltbag.

to add to this...

in a time raked game particularly, when someone bets the river and another person calls and neither person wants to turn their hands over and sit there wasting time waiting for the other person to show first.

christ, we are paying almost $100/hr in rake... if you bet and get called, turn your damn hand over and lets start the next hand.

i'm sure this has been mentioned in here but i didn't see it, so whatever...

when someone grabs a big stack of chips, puts it over the line and then bets a small portion of the chips in his hand. ie: grabs a stack of green, places it over the line without removing his hand, but then brings $400 back. i guess this is more of the casinos fault for not enforcing a pretty common rule. still annoying.