^^ Douchebags like that. When you're value-betting a know that a better range of hands would have called you already.

Or when you're bluffing and already know what your opponent don't have and you're thinking "great he has middle pair-no-kicker or worst" because otherwse he calls. He takes his time and calls, you say good call and he has bottom pair or worst.

was playing 1/2 the other day.
there was this group of 4 kids around 18y.o spread on 2 tables, 2 on mine.
normal smart kids, but not poker smart.

the two at my tables were constantly facepalming and making comments at the old livetards calling with J5 pre.
at some point I get stacked my a random gutshot on the river when i held top two after potting two streets and one of the kids ask me "you must be so tilted right now, right ?". I just tell him discretely that as a matter of a fact Im pretty happy people calling me two streets being a huge dog, and that he should feel the same way.

Then on the other table, one of the kid litteraly BLOWS UP, yelling at some guy. He really goes far into his anger. Then we learn that he lost with KK to T6 in a 4bet pot on T6x.
Kid at my table comments

"oh my god we should have to take an IQ test to enter the casino. He gets the floor called and say : we should have beginner/intermediate/pro sections". So I ask him "oh what section would you go in then ? Cause i'd go in beginners." He looks at me, dismayed

so f tilt

I hate people that ****ing FLIP OUT if there is an open seat at the table and start screaming for the floor every 10 seconds if it isn't filled within like 2 minutes.

HOLY **** THERE ARE 8 PEOPLE AT THE TABLE NOT 9 HOLY **** THE WORLD IS GOING TO END

I also hate that all the old horrible regulars who burn money regularly at the live LHE games I play in hate me for playing aggressively. It's like I just killed their dog if I ever c/r them. I'm "invading" their game because I'm half the age of anyone that ever plays there.

Or if the entire table (average age: 79-years-old if you don't count me) is having a conversation, the second I add a comment they all get quiet and look at me like I'm some sort of alien. Yeah keep check/calling me down with 3rd pair like a ****ing hero. You got me that ONE time 49 years ago, so clearly I'm just bluffing every time.

I'm tilted thinking about these people now.

Or the old lady who gets AJ 5 out of 20 hands or something and shows it every hand. Except after the 2nd time she got AJ, she starts demanding a wash and the dealer does it EVERY ****ING TIME.

And then they start screaming for a deck change.

YOU ARE GROWN ADULTS WHO HAVE LIVED FOR OVER 50 YEARS DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE THE DECK IS MAGICALLY SENDING OUT THE SAME CARDS ALL THE TIME AND THAT CHANGING THE PHYSICAL CARDS WILL ALTER THE RESULTS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

people who point at me when it is my turn to act... i ****ing know it is and i don't act slowly


also ppl who say all day in regards to a raise... "i raise to 100 all day" it results in a wave of ppl going .. did he raise it 100? no he made it 100... all day... oh so what is it to me then? 100? etc etc etc

quoted for truth.

people that dont call 3 hands before leaving the cash game, seriously wtf bad etiquette!

Actually it's their money now and they are under no obligation to give it back. What tilts me is the "last round" rule.

People that say "ok guys, I have been here [this many] hours, my kid has practice, etc etc" then check the time and then make up another list of excuses and go "so I will leave in one more round", OMG LEAVE ALREADY, people are waiting to sit! Douche. The worst part is when they lose half their stack within the orbit, they stay and are ready to rebuy as soon as they have to go all in. In spite of their "kid needing to be picked up", "wife in the hospital", "mother dying", "dog needing to be taken to the vet", "having to wake up for work in 5 hours", etc.

People that go all in saying "I have to go home", but have their $50 min buy-in ready in one hand.

The first time I played at one of the local casinos I was doing good. I was at the fishiest live 1/2 table in my life. People are tripping over themselves to pay off my straights/flushes/two pair. I think I bought in stupid for like 70 buck or so. After an hour and a half I'm up to 450 or so. THEN all of a sudden the floor wants to move someone.

Well obviously I don't want to get moved cause my table is a f fish fest. Of course no one else wants to move so than the floor decides that I have to move. This actually pissed off the fish as well, seeing as how I had most of their maney they thought that I should stay at their table so that they would get a fair chance to win it back. I would have been much obliged obv but management had different plans for me. I almost thought of just cashing out in protest of moving to the other ****ing table but thought nah, I'm having a pretty good night why wreck it?

So of course the new table is a bunch of tight old guy squeezers. Pretty easy to run over but hard to actually get a lot of chips off of. I end up losing a big pot to some old guy who immediately cashes out after the win.....thanks buddy. I go on uber tilt and open shove everything. After the smoke clears Im up like 170 for the night.

FU floor for moving me from the super fish table to the super reg table.

When floor puts me to a table that I don't want for "balancing purposes" or whatever, I simply politely refuse and leave/wait/cash out, etc.

One time there was this juicy deep stack table with mafia people raising and callig $100 blind (it was a 5/5 NL) and there was another one that had 5 old (avg age 89) short-stacker and one Jewish kid sitting on 3 buy-in's (who probably took all the fish out). Floor wanted me there to "balance tables". I insta-knew my options:

a) I am so much of a degenerate gambler with no pride or self-respect that I will contradict myself and sit at the table you tell me to, even if it means losing money or only winning minimum with the nuts everytime.

or b) I am here to make maney and if you don't have any space for me where I want, then I don't have to take the alternative. Your loss.

I told floor I will wait by the bar until putting me on the table I want becomes possible. After a few phone calls and showing of indiferrence, the floor puts me where I wanted to sit. No player had left or joinned either table. Sometimes in real life, you just gotta bluff.

1) The players that pretend to be extremely drunk when they're really not.

2) Talking in a suggestive manner when im in a big hand and they're not.

3) Big uncovered cleavage.

4) People with horrendous odors or breathe.

yea, this tilts me to the highest levels

When a fish min raises me on the flop, I fold, they show a bluff and then laugh for the next 20 seconds like they owned me so hard.

The check-min raise.

/thread.

i sometimes tilt when players influence the action of a hand when they're not in the pot.

like you're heads up selling a story like "i didn't look at my cards" and the table fish says "yes you did, i watched you"

you want to reach over and slap the guy and tell him to stfu but you can't do it without revealing information about your hand.

This

I just recently 'invaded' my casinos regular limit game

Wowee I get a comment on every hand, I end up playing 8 9 and by the river am bluffing and villian makes a soul read call

The oldest of the regs 'you play rubbish, i dont respect your bet, you play junk junk junk'

I did end up value towning lots of hands later but got under the breath remarks for every hand I played

Plus a semi suckout for 2 pair on the river against a villian who had me outkicked, wow did that go down well

+1mirrion

This.

And its not limited to old guys, just people that suck, that you have to be nice to.

this has had to be said but the person who sits next to you and shows you their hand everytime before they fold like you effing care

then the person who complains and asks you what they had and demands that the whole table should get to see

wtf live poker, or maybe just people, tilt me to no end

1>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>2

Barron

ya i colluded at a casino for a week with my friend. we made like $450 a piece and we havent done it since. uve never colluded? ever? really? never soft played for a friend? jeez didnt kno this site was so righteous... *** the integrity of the game. its about money. so if u can get away with it do it. i wouldnt do it anymore cuz im scurrred. but i wouldnt hate on people that do it for a living. not such a cookie cutter place the poker world is.

you are a true dirtbag. die in a grease fire please

PFR, HU
Flop, check, check
Turn, check, check
River, check, POT, min-raise


FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

People that DON'T wear ipods and insist on striking up a conversation when its pretty obvious from my headphones that I'm not interested in idle chit chat.

We're here to play poker you clowns. Quit yer blabbering about everything under the sun BUT poker and speed yer arses up.

And gives mes alls yers moniez youse foolz.