1. Getting called an 'Internet Kid', they probs deduced this when I kept reaching for a mouse which isn't there when it's my turn to act.

2. Going all-in with 5BBs when the tournament has reached it's crapshoot climax at the final table and being told by regs and dealers alike that I "Only have one move".

3. Additionally, people who think they're really cool, who, when dealt their cards, then place them side by side like they're on TV and look at them one at a time.

I wonder if they have any idea that they look like a mentally unstable individual with delusions of grandeur. This is not the Crown, this a £5 rebuy at the nearest collection of bricks to you which happens to resemble a casino. Dick.

Oh final ranty story:

Playing in a student Poker tournament, have been playing fairly well for about 10 hours and we're 1 minute from day 2. I raise A4o MP 6 7handed in what I presume is the last hand of the day expecting everyone to fold. Obv I get three bet by the biggest nit at the table so it seems like a good spot to blow up imo.

So I overbet shove.

He then tanks for 3 minutes. Then by the logic of "It's too sick for you have it here" Decides to call with KK.

ABSOLUTELY ROLLED.

Nothing I hate more than the SUPER LAGTARD with the 3k in chips at the table who doesnt pay you

the guy limps UTG, its raised, called, I 3-bet with AK in the BB to $75, the lagtard just flats (completely ruins my play for getting the original raises stack in pre, he now folds to scared to get his weaker A in the 3~4 way pot), of course flops comes 3 5 9 and he just shoves the whole thing and after the fold tuns over 5T

Thanks buddy

So I'm counting his chips as we sit there and plan on getting the deck to stack him and get my money back with interest, and of course he flippin ships his entire stack to the 2 other nits who are only playing 4% of hands and leaves

There needs to a mandatory rule, the nits who dont cop the beat to the lagtard cant stack him when the time comes

lol when did this thread become '******s play hands bad and blame people in casinos'?

When someone tanks for what seems like half an hour then reluctantly calls your river bet after you've fired on every street, scoops the pot and then says to you "wow I really thought you had the straight OR the backdoor flush" and they have called with top pair incredibad kicker on a horrendously wet board. Why call then if thats what you put me on?!

People who stand up and start whooping and hollaring/clapping/fist pumping when they bink their hand on the river to eliminate you in a low stakes tourney about 35 places from the money. Then they apologise prefusley to you for doing that as you stand up to go home.

whenever I see this I lol, I also love that when I always open instead of just open limp like everyone else that I only have one move and that's to act like a crazy person

this is the fkn worst... DONT FLIP MY CARDS

almost cant even play home donkaments anymore.. drives me nuts

When I go to the bathroom and find someone beating off

People that make horrendous calls and apologize after sucking out.

C'unts that call your 7BB shove as though if that's what you wanted when in fact you're in blind-stealing mode on the bubble. "All in", everyone folds, the bitch: "okay I will call you". She has a monster that has you absolutely crushed (AX vs AX). And if she has KK+ she will say "awwww sowyyyyyy" before she says call. DIEEEEEEEE.

Let's now include stuff that you LOVE seeing in live cash games (besides winning of course):

Nits losing 5 hours of "hard grind" to a maniac that's only here to dump money.

Like this hand:

Limped pot, nit is in the blinds.

Flop: AK6
Nit checks, maniac who has just won $27K at blackjack bets, nit check-raises big and maniac calls.

Turn: 5
Nit bets and starts acting vulnerable "I swear to God I have a made hand and I know you're on a flush draw". Maniac raises. Nit is now begging for mercy, offering to check-down, trying to convince the Villain that he is "strong". Villain does not budge, tells nit that he is here to play POKER. Nit calls.

River is a blank and nit checks saying "I won't fold to any bet!". Of course our Hero shoves and nit goes into the tank, he finally calls with A6 for Aces up and the maniac slowrolls him 55 one at a time.

So satisfying! The next hand the maniac calls off a pot sized bet on a gutshot (and hit). Me thinks this is the day I will walk out of here with a 5+ BI's profit without a sweat. Until the idiot nit tells the aggro-donk "hey why don't you go play at the 5/10? There is a seat open you know".

Not only did that chase away the maniac, it made us short-handed and the table broke. I tell him "what the **** was that? he's spewing his money and you chase him away?". And he responds "Did you see how he was hitting? I don't want to play with lucky players like that!".

...
qft

Why would you shove though

There isn't a need for a break to do that though. You have short stacks that will last 2-3 hands and then we are put on a 20 min break just insta tilts me

[ ] because I'm super sick at poker

[x] because I blew up

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqYtKekhPK8

90 mph slapshot in the face from ~20ft, 70 stitches and is back playing the same game, yeah what a pussy Who needs pads

Lol whats up with the net? you playin mini sticks ? Cool as *** tho love hockey on blades

You're a moron

It's just a watered down version of soccer, played indoors on ice with less men, less strategy, and less talent. It's more violent, but they wear pads. And violence is what makes it interesting. As a sport itself it's gay. If it didn't have fights and full-body checks nobody would watch it.

But let's not get off topic.

OK when did this thread become about a ******'s description of hockey?

I just decided to change the topic. I pretty much run the show in this thread if you haven't noticed.

I made a previous thread about my story a while back just search my posts friend. I was at mohegan last night and just remember something that pissed me off that people do although I'm sure it's been posted already. When the person next to you can't stop shaking their leg constantly vibrating you and/or your chair. Keep your ****ing leg still!

Whenever someone changes seats, at least two other players will immediately argue with the dealer as to whether or not the seat-changer has to post a blind. "But he moved two seats away from the/blah blah blah." Shut up and let the dealer handle it FFS.

Dealer abuse in general drives me crazy. The one time in a dozen that the dealer's wrong and the old crank at the Tropicana feels vindicated about the hours of abuse he doles out to dealers tilts me even more.

the misunderstanding of what constitutes a slowroll

when a donk thinks i slowrolled them because i considered raising the river, before deciding to just flat.

"What took you so long to call? you've got a straight"
"I was deciding if i should raise"
"you fkn slowrolled me"
"wtf?"