Guys who ask "how much are you playing" too often..especially when its a deepstack really early and everyone has at least 100bb and its only a single raise to them.

I dont care about sunglasses but the people who put them on only when in a hand tilt me. same with a hoodie/ipod. If you wanna go into the shell and just play your game thats ok...or stay out of it but the people who poke in back and forth trying to keep up with all the info while not really paying attention are annoying.

the guys who wont table the damn bluff or flip the junk oop. you already donked some off may as well get some image points as a maniac/chasing fish. I am gonna spite angle one of these guys some day when I dont have much either.

the guy who excessively celebrates after winning deep in a donkament...then apologizes. also the guy who fistpumps and rubs it in your face when you make a standard shortstack push with junk and he calls with what he thinks is a hero call but is actually standard and holds

Grunching this thread but my vote goes for

-People who smell like a foot. For the love of God, take a shower before you play!

This.

Oh, and people talking about how they hate playing KK since they "always lose with it".

This + Slowrollers

bad breath

What do you have?

Two pair.

Which two?

Bottom two.







They're good.

Haha, I've seen this a couple of times.

just table your cards and you wont have this issue. This **** bothers me. People who just refuse to be the first to show.

I always insta table, this convo is between two fish. If I was king of all live poker I'd make the rule that if you get to showdown and don't table your hand within 3 seconds it's dead.

loooooooool

This happened at a NL10 home game I went to the other day: I go all in with a flopped set or something, some donk calls me with a gutshot or something, hits his straight and wins like a 20 dollar pot or something. Other donk turns to me and says "I bet you feel like killing yourself now huh? you must be on megatilt" ... loooool why would i want to kill myself over 20 dollars? apparently that's a lot of money to some people ???

****ing morons that talk about online poker

Example:

Random guy:

I played a 2$ sng online , its rigged

Rd guy 2 :

Oh yeah , I've seen AA vs KK vs AK once what are the odds of this happening in live.

Me : Trying to find something to clean the blood on my fists.

LOL

Morons that say "I gotta call you" when you raise all in 3x the pot and they hit their flush draw, never will they fold.

people who tank in a limit game every hand

old nits who shortstack

dealers who pitch the cards 5 feet away from you

old ladys that run good

Old people who think they have a read on you because of your preflop betsizing.
I'm on a heater for the first hour I sit down, I pick up AA twice on the button, 4 or five limpers in a 1/3 game, I make it $24 all day, cbet flop, gg me.

I'm utg+1, I pick up AA and raise to $11(because there are no limpers obv) kxxxx board, I barrel 3 streets old lady has KQ. She's like oh so you raise $30 with air and $11 with AA. I said yes.

I love the guys who bet the river, and then whenever they are called, they instamuck like OMG WTF. "i missed"

People will call flushdraws for any size of the pot and then say they were getting pot odds.

My favorite is when you have a few young regs who keep raising the button (playing poker) and the old people start whining because they can't see cheap flops.

The guy who sits next to you, who laughs in disgust whenever people bet, tanks for 20 seconds showing you his second pair+gutshot and mucks like he's making a hero call.

Next time you get AA raise to $69

the one card show, some moron did that to me with JJ on JTTxx board while betting 1/20th of the pot against my J9s I called the river and he shows one jack .... 20sec later smiles and shows the other jack

happens, people play poker where I play billiard all the time. there are screaming guys and stuff (huge 1c/2c blinds )

*People that min raise preflop and POT the flop.
*Dealers that mess up the side pot and when you correct them, "let me do my job" they say.
*People that fold the obvious best hand on the flop because there are 2 spades out and they did not want to lose to the flush. That's really their reasonning! One guy once folded JJ on KJ4 (two clubs) because he "did not want to lose to the flush".
*Asian floaters. Call call call, just waiting for you to check OOP on a scare card so they could pot it, regardless of their cards.
*People that call off half of their stack preflop or on the flop and c/f on the next street.
*People (read pessimists) that talk during the hand,
eg: flop is 722r, I check he bets I call. Turn: 10. I check, he goes "arg you got me, check". Sometimes it's their body language that gives this away. But it's okay, more free money for me.

HOWEVER, in the above example:

Flop 722, I c/c his standard 1/3 pot c-bet

Turn: 10, I check, he checks while shaking his head

River: A, I bet big, he goes "arghh.. alright, here, gift" and calls your bluff with 75o or pocket 3's or some sh&t.

people that bet the same amount on every street no matter how big the pot is... theres 50 in the pot on the flop, villan bets 15, villan bets turn 15, villan bets river 15. insta tilt.

any bad beat story

the luckbox who's playing every single hand and winning them all while i've been at the table 4 hours without a won showdown

the fish who tips the chip runner 3 reds, and then tips the dealer a red on a tiny pot (he's giving away MY money)

anyone who gets to showdown and has to look at his cards and the board 3 times before mucking (the cards aren't going to change a-hole)

the guy the other day who said he only made one mistake the whole day - he left early and the guy who took his seat had tripled up - i made sure to steal every open he made that day lol - jack ass

the kids that won't stop talking to the gorgeous girl at the table - you got no chance dude stfu and play poker and stop drooling on the cards

people who tell other people that they have a straight when they didn't notice and were about to muck - stfu dude that's a 100 pot you cost me

the dealer who pushed a $500 pot the wrong way

people who call with middle pair and then say they knew the other guy had top pair

the drunkards who spray when they talk

-- live poker lol

+1. How did I not mention that one. Worst is you know you are beat on the flop and the turn but you had a flush draw + middle pair... now a gutshot to go with it on the turn. River missed you but you still have middle pair and getting almost 10:1 odds. You call, villain shows TPWK and thinks you're a fish he can milk.

haha dude I love this. He is just warming her up for you and you can silently get information on the type of losers she has to deal with day and night. All you gotta do now is have a confident composure, put the kids on tilt by taking their money, be different and you got her. Yeah that's how I got the number of a '9' at the table once. Make that twice.

That's bs. Something you would expect at a play money home game. What is the person doing looking at Villain's cards anyways?

People who check-call with flush draws, hit on river, and still check. The one of two things happens. Position checks behind, or postion bets and flush flat calls, saying "I wasn't sure if my flush was any good so I had to check/call you."

So.. if you arent sure your flush draw is live, why the **** are you chasing it?

this. and sometimes it's not even a slowroll; they simply don't think.

obv w/ your river call.