Pain
The days following the accident were a little bittersweet. The thought of suing the **** out of this dumb drunk lady were filling my mind, and at the same time, the pain started to settle in. Over the next few weeks, I was able to deal at Tim's house a few times, and at Fish's house the game ran much slower, and the rake was not as big of a deal to him as it was to Tim at his game. I found myself frequently having to take breaks, asking people to bring in bets closer to me, and my competency as a dealer was going downhill. A few days after the accident I found myself at our family lawyer's office, my sister had been in a not at fault accident a year before and she did a pretty good job. I also made my own visit to the local auto accident, a real Dr. Feelgood, and he was basically willing to prescribe anything that wasn't over the top like Oxys. The all too familiar burning sensation on my neck and upper back from my motorcycle accident was back for some more action, and the Norco I was taking was helping me forget about my current situation. I was laid up in bed most days watching Breaking Bad or Narcos on Netflix, and even though Nicole was more hurt than I was, she was making food, or at least going out and getting it. I was fairly depressed, sluggish, and becoming a slob. I had a Toyota Corolla as a rental until they sorted out the damage on my car, and it just didn't have the fun factor that the Sti had. I even requested a manual, and they had nothing in their fleet - thanks Progressive.
As I saw my bank account slowly start to dwindle in the following weeks, I knew that I needed a plan before the numbers started to spiral out of control. I talked to Fish about an arrangement where I would take a certain amount of the game for more management responsibilities, but what I had was what I was going to get, and I would need to make up my dealing with something else to keep a fair partnership going. Tim and Rhett weren't getting along, but Rhett had paid a ton of money for half of this game which was mostly funny money at this time anyway. My slowly growing business in the vape industry was making a little money, but just not enough. The market was saturated, and making a name for yourself in this neck of the woods was just not going to happen - all the big names were in larger cities and I wasn't going to move for something that just wasn't my passion.
I considered getting back into the world of plants, and though I had bought some seed and small plants, I had nowhere to put a nursery. The returns on a business like that were years ahead, and I was looking for the now. One night, in a Norco haze, I just realized that the answer was right in front of me.
"**** it, I'm not going to just sit here in this condo anymore and watch One Tree Hill all night Nicole, I want to go to Hard Rock." I told her to take a shower and get in the car. I thought she was going to resist me in this, but she was happy to go - Hard Rock to her was like going out on the town. The rules for her coming along were that I would give her $20 for having a few drinks, and she would have to pay her own way after that. Between the gas cost and her money, I knew that my hourly wouldn't cut it at 1-2, so it was going to be 2-5 or 5-5PLO. Was I rolled for 2-5 or 5-5 completely on my own? Not really, but it wasn't going to stop me from trying. It was season here in Florida and as I checked Bravo, the lists were packed. When I got there, they had died down a bit as one of the Winter Poker Series events was dying down. As I got on every list possible, I ran into Dustin and my other tournament poker friends. He and Dave had started to explain the barrage of bad beats they had taken to get knocked out away from the real money, and I wondered if I would ever hear a real bad beat story again. Was I getting too jaded from the game? I didn't feel the passion that I once did, and it could have been the Norco, or just me being in a sub par mood to play.
Also, thanks to my euphoric state when on painkillers, my dates may be off by a few weeks as to which hands happened which time, but this was to the best of my recollection.
I was called for 2-5 first, and decided that I wanted to embrace a little less variance that day. Besides, the 5-5 games were clearly playing bigger this evening with the average stack at 3k on a 1k buyin game. I decided to buy in for 800 and had top up chips if needed. As I sat down to the table, I instantly recognized two faces - one was a legit tournament pro, and the other, well that person claimed to be a pro, but this person was known to have gone broke multiple times in his/her career and would be staked by the significant other. The rest of the table were unknowns, and my image was somewhat known by the pseudo pro. The first hand I was dealt in the cutoff and peeked at A
K
and raise 2-3 limpers to 30, and the legit pro was short stacked and went all in for 120 total. Two limpers called the 120 and I decided to just shove to go heads up with dead money in the pot. Both limpers are clearly pissed and fold and I am heads up against 10
10
. I hit a K on the turn and he is sarcastically saying how well I played the hand. He glances over at the pseudo pro and they exchange looks like "look at this donkey" sort of thing. I mentioned something about 20 big blind stacks being for tournaments and suggested he try his luck in one of those as I pull in a 500ish pot. I could tell he wanted to lunge across the table at me but knew the consequences of that would not be favorable. He leaves and I continue to play with only one "pro" at the table. I will go into more of my experiences with the pseudo pro at another time, but the rest of the night was relatively uneventful, and I found Nicole around the center bar taking to some people with a glass of wine. I think I cashed out up 550 on that session and I felt like I was getting a little bit of traction in my financial situation, even if it were short term.
On the ride home, Nicole started to mention to me that she needed to babysit for this guy Chad's daughter. Ever since I knew her, she had talked about how this guy was so great and it was a tragedy that the mother was a drug addict. Once I hear stuff like this I just start to drown it out. Before I moved to Florida I would never hear about this bull****, and since I have been down here it seems every week I meet someone new that has kids with multiple baby daddys or moms. At this point I got curious and started asking her a bunch of questions about how they met. I knew the answers to most of the questions, but was looking for her to slip up and tell me something knew, because someone doesn't just randomly babysit for other guy's kids without some history with them. She swore they were just friends, but she was a little tipsy and I figured I might get a different answer this time.
Finally I baited her and asked, "So how many times did you guys hook up when you were together?"
"Only two or three times, it was no big deal........."
I didn't say a word. I knew that after 30 seconds or so it would register in her brain that she had been caught in a lie. When she did, she started making excuses, and I don't even remember all of what was said, and frankly, I was starting not to care anymore. The ride home became quiet and I wanted to just drop her off at a gas station, but she had her car at the condo. When we got there I told her to pack her **** - this may have been overreacting, but if she was lying about this, what else was she trying to hide from me? She had been there till 2am some nights, and I had trusted her, I am not the jealous type. The thought of me having wasted almost a year being cheated on made the rage come out. She swore there was nothing, she begged, but what was she begging forgiveness for? I knew her past, that she had been abused by exes and others, and I wasn't looking to be abusive but I had to have some self-respect. I told her to get some of her stuff and go home to her family, or to Chad. That I didn't care where she went, I just didn't want her in my presence. After what seemed like an eternity, she took some things, through them in the back of her Camry, and drove off.
Usually the condo had some kind of noise going on. Nicole liked to sleep with the TV on, so I had a pair of sunshades for my eyes. Also, the window AC unit was usually on and was like a small engine running, but it was a little chilly out so it remained silent. I laid there in bed curious if I had wasted away yet another year of a relationship like I had back in 2009. It was only after taking another Soma that I finally gave in to sleep around 530am. I remember hoping Nicole was mentally suffering while feeling bad for throwing her out, scared she was going to get in some accident as she always hated driving at night. I knew that I really loved her, and as a result the pain of being lied to like this set in deep to my psyche.