Yep, no doubt abt their support, definitely best in the business. FTP should come and copy and paste some of their stuff so they wun tilt me so badly.

Was going back through my facebook comments and found one my friend posted. An email he received from stars support.



Hello yourmumstits,

Unfortunately we are unable to approve the User ID (nickname) that you
have selected. We feel that this name might, in some way, offend other
players.

The account under User ID "yourmumstits" has been closed.

Regards,

PokerStars Support Team

I find sending these emails kind of stupid and wouldnt do it myself
but for some reason I m still reading them and finding them very funny and entertaining anyway.

Awesome.

You could Ask them to send back your cat to you, and when they send it, just say that its not the same cat.

That's a bit David Thorne.

Dear Support,

It has been brought to my attn that Fulltiltpoker may be coming back from
the dead under new management in the near future and I wonder what, if
anything, you will do to compete with them and maintain your superiority
for online poker? One idea of mine is to implement a new $1 tournament (not
unlike FullTilt's old Daily Dollar) during prime European times (sucks for
us Canadians) to bring a lot of the micro players back. Could call it the
Big $1.10 since you don't have it yet? (Or perhaps name it after me since
I'm obviously the first one who ever thought of such a thing?)

Anyway I'd also like some advice on the following: do you think that
Hawkeye was portrayed correctly in the Avengers? Some have argued that his
character was poorly used under Loki's influence, and that he was unable to
truly connect with the viewers as a valuable ally. My opinion is that he
was able to completely redeem himself in the latter half of the movie and
prove that he is a valuable asset to the team. Please shed light on this
for me.

Thanks.

Hello *****,

Thank you for contacting us with your concerns. First, lets handle the Full Tilt Poker issue.

As part of its agreement with the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ), PokerStars has obtained the assets of Full Tilt Poker. Furthermore, PokerStars will use these assets to re-launch the Full Tilt Poker site.

In addition to the above, PokerStars has also committed to the full reimbursement of funds owed to Full Tilt Poker customers outside the United States.

United States Full Tilt Poker players will be handled by the US Department of Justice. In their own statement, the DOJ acknowledged the following:

"U.S. victims will be able to seek compensation for their losses from the Department of Justice from the $547 million forfeited by PokerStars."

"The funds that will be used to compensate qualifying victims will come from the $547 million that will be forfeited by PokerStars as part of its settlement with the Government."

"...these settlements by Full Tilt Poker and PokerStars, which allow us to quickly get significant compensation into the victim players hands"

You can read more details of the agreement in our Press Release at the following location:

http://www.pokerstars.com/press

In addition to the above, we are pleased to confirm that we have now concluded our agreement with the US Department of Justice and hence commit to paying players back and relaunching the Full tilt Poker site within 90 days, by November the 6th.

We will set a separate account aside, which will hold the full amount that will cover all outstanding player balances outside of the U.S.

The above process will take time as we verify account ownership and balances and work with authorities in the relevant jurisdictions to ensure that we can return funds in an efficient and effective way.

We understand that former Full Tilt Poker players may have many questions about this process. Hence, we encourage you to check our newly available FAQ at:

http://www.pokerstars.com/ftp-news/

We will continually update this FAQ page to proactively answer as many questions as possible over the next few months.

Now, the Hawkeye question is an interesting one and I think that opinions vary a lot. But you have to remember that Marvel has heroes that are more PG13 and emotionally stable (comparing with DC characters) and will invariably redeem themselves at one point or another. Besides, it would not sell well if we would have left Hawkeye as a bad guy... it would only mean the bad guys can win one way or another and that is just not Marvel.

I think that Hawkeye did a good job when the portal opens and the army of the Chitauri starts invading Earth. In any case, considering the fact that he is a simple and common mortal, you have to admit he is the 'topnotch'; he was able to keep up with demi-gods and science-toys (either mechanical or human!) and that counts for something.

If you have any other questions or wish to discuss any other movie at any time, just let us know!

Regards,

Melania
PokerStars Support Team
---
We are poker!

Hillarious!

Posting in epic thread

stop wasting their time when they can be helping grinders with real issues ldo

Just sent a quicky to see if this is all legit:

Hello xxxx,

Thank you for your email.

In both their prime, I believe Bruce Lee would be victorious. As
you probably are aware, they have already faced each other in the
movie "Return of the Dragon", and Chuck lost. Still, Chuck
himself is no pushover, he is an accomplished Karate man and
movie star with a cult following. He is also somewhere in his
70's and can still roundhouse kick anyone who gets in his way.

However, I have to give the fight to Bruce, given his incredible
speed, accuracy, strength (he could do push ups with 2 fingers)
and considered by many, the greatest martial artist ever. Bruce
Lee is in a class of his own, just like PokerStars.

We hope you share these views. If there is anything else we can
do for you, please let us know.

Thank you for choosing us and best of luck at the tables!

Regards,

Jaime
PokerStars Support Team


----- Original Message -----
From: xxxxxxx
Sent: 2012/08/22 03:12:39
To: support@pokerstars.com
Subject: hi

>
>
>
>
>Hello Pokerstars, Who do you think would win in a fight, Chuck
>Norris or Bruce Lee?



Annnnnd pokerstars wins again

LOL

Hello PokerStars

>I was recently playing a qualifier satellite live yesterday when a very
>attractive girl approached my table. She sat down and played some of the
>most solid poker I have ever seen. As a man, it's hard to not to be
attracted to
>a woman like this at my table. I immediately played as many
>pots with her as I could in order to have an excuse to stare at her. As a
>result, playing so many junk hands out of position caused me to go from chip
>leader to busto. Now she thinks I'm a total fish and I have hardly any
>bankroll to prove otherwise. Is there any way you can help me run good on
>PokerStars over the next couple days so I can make a big score and show her
how
>good I am?
>
>If this not a possibility, do you know any good pickup lines?
>
>
>Any help you can offer is appreciated!
their reply.........

Given that she is a poker player, I imagine that some poker-related pick-up
lines will do the trick. In all honesty, I have never tried this, but my
thinking is this:

"Do you want to come home with me to check out my stamp collection?" is
normally not a very successful line, but it might just work for, guess who;
girls that collect postage stamps. "Do you want to come home with me and
play World of Warcraft?" is another one that normally won't do the trick,
but it might work for the WoW girls out there. My point is; a pick-up line
might sound a bit lame for people who aren't into whatever the line is
referring to. And, as there are not that many girls that play poker, a
lame-sounding pick-up line might just work if you try it on the right girl.

You just have to remember to avoid a few bad and/or nasty ones, who include,
but are not limited to, the following:

- "Wow, nice pair"
- "If I win some money, would you mind if I cashed it out via Bank Wire,
went to an ATM, and..." (you know the rest)
- "Hey, you kinda look like the Queen of Spades"

While on the subject, you would also probably profit from avoiding certain
poker lingo in other situations. For instance, if a girl were to ask you
out, do not answer with:

- "Bink" or "Ship"
- "I'm all-in, baby (*wink wink*)"
- Go "Hmmm, I don't know... Let me think about that" just because it's
Ganktober.

Okay, now that we have gotten that out of the way, here are some
poker-related pick-up lines that will hopefully work:

- "You stole my heart. Have you been 4-betting me light all day too?"
- "Can I take your picture? (Why?) Because I want Stars to know exactly what
I want from the FPP Store."
- "I'm Yin on 2+2. Are you Yang?"
- "They say that if you're lucky in love, you're unlucky at cards. So, if
you'll date me, I'm cashing out immed"

And that was just about what I could come up with; I know they aren't
particularly good, but I hope the suggestions will be of help anyway. Best
of luck to you, and be sure to let us know if you are successful!

If we can be of further assistance, feel free to contact us with any
questions or concerns you may have.

Best regards,

Fredrik E
Poker Specialist
PokerStars Support Team

Was her name Ashley?

Did she ask you for moniez in return for teh sex?

Did he/she turn out to be a scammer?

never laughed so hard reading 2p2 before, pure gold itt

Hello xxxx,

Thank you for contacting us.

As much as it might be a convenient explanation for when you receive a bad beat, there is no such thing as a "doomswitch". It is simply a fanciful term invented by players, who in the early days of online poker, were seeking to explain away their poor results by blaming factors other than the natural randomness that occurs in the game.

PokerStars has no control over who wins and loses at our tables, and we cannot determine how your hole cards, the flop, turn and river are going to be dealt. We just deal the cards and the rest is up to the players in the game. We are sorry to hear about your bad beats, but please understand this has nothing to do with PokerStars or our shuffle. In over 100 billion hands dealt, not one single person has found any indication that our shuffle is unfair or not random. Plenty of independent studies by players have found the opposite to be true. You may find just two of them here:

https://groups.google.com/d/msg/rec....E/f0rcZ_4tCJAJ
https://groups.google.com/d/msg/rec....g/a0yfh6QQcBcJ

If you are still concerned about PokerStars' games, please examine the results yourself. You can request your full hand history from us and input it into some independent poker analysis software, such as PokerTracker or Hold'em Manager (free trial versions are available). These programs can then show you easy-to-read reports covering all your results, plus a large number of other statistics on the hands you have been dealt, your play, and the play of your opponents. Your own hand histories will clearly show our shuffle is random.

We hope you are more at ease with the integrity of the PokerStars software. If you have any further concerns, please do not hesitate to contact us again.

Regards,

Silvia F.
PokerStars Support Team

> __________________________________________________ _____
> From: xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Sent: 08/23/15 15:56:22
> To: "support@pokerstars.com" <support@pokerstars.com>
> Subject: doomswitch
>
> Dear Pokerstars
> i was happy with amount of money I won on july, but nothing on august, who switched my doomswitch off, can you reverse it back please so i can win again. you see i didn't play today to protest against it
> thank you in advance for switching it on
> xxxxx

Deserves more love

Wish I could get a funny email from stars

Only ones I ever got were you are banned your ban will be lifted never.

Great thread