SICK marathon session w/ mega coolers
11-25-2012
, 09:10 AM
11-25-2012
, 02:30 PM
the moment my hand is turned over there's audible confusion at the table. my opponents are thrown off by my high level superhero call that only Townsend in his prime could make. letting out a deep breath of satisfaction from my daredevil call i tilt my head down and let the prada's drop to the tip of my nose. as a smirk forms on the right side of my face i look over at my opponent and say, "...sick call, no doubt."
leaning back in my seat waiting for my opponent to muck his rags i see he can't hold back his laughter any longer, "hahaha....no." he says, as he boastfully turns over his black pocket Q
Q
.
jumping to my feet i bellow out, "CHICKENHEADS?!?!?!? LAWL are u serious bro, do you not kno i have top set here like 60% of the time??? phuckin chickenheads dude are u kidding me?"
sitting in his chair in fits of laughter he looks back at me and says, "sorry.....bro"
like dumping gasoline on the "metaphorical" house fire that will consume these people tonight, my rage is intensifying at a dangerous rate. quickly ruffling through my TapOut bag i pull out my italian made butterfly knife, flip it open in a nano second and launch it straight over my opponents head. as the blade goes whizzing through the air my opponent goes bug eyed and is frozen in fear. with a loud thud the entire wall shakes as my knife buries itself deep into the drywall. before the table can respond i go back to my bag and produce my 2nd butterfly knife and say in an eerily calm voice, "next one goes thru ur ass" as i stare down my opponent. gently setting my knife down by my mountain of cheques i see HeyN8 holding back a smile as he knows this ish just got rly real.
"yo HeyN8, lets get lifted. blunt break bro - gotta get my head straight." i say.
nodding in agreement we get up from the table and make our way out the backdoor and lean up against the house, taking our bags with us.
"yo u got this one aight?" i say to him, "i'll smoke u down next time probably" assuring him i won't leave him hanging. as HeyN8 starts packing a tight one i continue on, "so how much you down bro?"
looking up from the blizzie he's rollin up, he gives me a pained look and says, "i dunno man, it's gotta be like 3 or 4 hundo. i gotta double up and then some..."
"yea thats coo, that's coo. lets get me back to even first then we'll worry about you" i say. "these phucks are stackin the deck, or marked cards...or somethin.." i say as i trail off thinkin about what kinda play they're runnin'.
"they keep gettin big ass overpairs Modus!" HeyN8 says exasperatedly. becoming panicked he starts talking faster, "these punk ass jokers man, they phuckin- dude they gotta cheat to beat us, simple as that, so sick man. PHUCK!"
"yea for real" i say in agreement, "and does Brennen think he's that hot or somethin? seriously he's not good looking dude."
Taking puffs from the phattie blunt HeyN8 and I discuss how we're gonna even things out a little bit. We've ran games before. normally we play straight up until we're stuck, typically because the other players resort to cheatin b/c we're stackin sick cheese 31 (i kno dudes). luckily they're playin with a blue bicycle deck. i come prepared to all my games with back up decks for situations just like these. I tell HeyN8 we'll pull the classic "Modus Swap" - i'll finish suckin down this blunt while i stack a fresh deck for a sick cooler. when the deal's on me, we'll set up a little distraction so everyone from the table is focused elsewhere. with the quickness i'll take the old deck off the table and replace it with the one sittin under my left ass check. the cards will be dealt and they'll be none the wiser!
Sifting through my TapOut bag I pull out the fresh deck and set the cards so I'll get Rockets, and i'll give brennen the stupid phuckin jakes he likes so much. as I begin placing the cards i jump in fear as i hear the backdoor swing open. Hastily turning my back to the door to hide the deck i look over my shoulder and see Brennen peeking his head around as he says, "hey guys! you mind if i take a drag?"
"phuck off Brennen!" i shout back at him. As he heads back inside I quickly finish off setting up the hole cards and rush back inside before they suspect anything.
As my deal begins to approach me, my heart starts going a mile a minute against my chest. As the adrenaline surges through my body i begin to look around the table as the deck is passed to me. I can see my hand visibly shaking as i give the deck a few shuffles. feeling the time is right i let out a light cough, signaling to HeyN8 it's time to do this thing.
Without delay HeyN8 instantly jumps up from his seat and hurls his half empty Monster Energy drink against the wall. As it explodes with a loud pop the liquid sprays across the room and everyone's heads are turned away from the table. At that moment I take the deck off the table and swap it out with the fixed one sitting on my lap. sick, too easy. Everyone turns their heads around in confusion to HeyN8 looking for an explanation when he simply says, "oops".
"alright boys! alright! lets keep this game going!" i say as i'm on my feet carefully sliding each card individually to each player at the table (don't wanna phuck this up and have a mis-deal, digs?)
Once all the cards are out I peek down to see my pocket rockets, black ones. on the outside i'm koo as a cucumber for real, but on the inside i'm lickin my chops lookin to bust up brennen for his stack.
Brennen is in EP and open for $2, there's a caller before it gets back to me on the butt. Milking this for all it's worth i cut out some raising cheques and make a speech, "u ain't got sh*t, b*****" i say as i stare into brennen's hazel eyes. without breaking eye contact i bloat up the pot with a raise to $19 straight.
Looking very interested in my raise size brennen goes back to his stack. he quickly moves out the chips for a call to the side of his cards while he counts down the rest of his stack. looking on with glee i'm eyeing his stacks like a hungry jackal finna chow down on an abandoned gazelle. Seeing he has a little over $100 more in his stack his sits back at mulls it over for a minute. Out of nowhere he shrugs his shoulders and moves in the rest of his chips saying, "alright you probably got me...i'm all in."
"yes brennen....i do got you." i cooly say as i slowly roll over my Bullets, not bothering to put another chip in the pot. Beaming in delight as i see his face move from uncertainty to utter depression when he sees my rockets, he sheepishly rolls over his trusty phuckin jakes. Moving to my feet in excitement I begin to run out the board.
Flop: 10 7 8
"oh sh*t..." i think to myself as i can feel my face burning with anger and worry, "i forgot to set the board..."
leaning back in my seat waiting for my opponent to muck his rags i see he can't hold back his laughter any longer, "hahaha....no." he says, as he boastfully turns over his black pocket Q
Q.jumping to my feet i bellow out, "CHICKENHEADS?!?!?!? LAWL are u serious bro, do you not kno i have top set here like 60% of the time??? phuckin chickenheads dude are u kidding me?"
sitting in his chair in fits of laughter he looks back at me and says, "sorry.....bro"
like dumping gasoline on the "metaphorical" house fire that will consume these people tonight, my rage is intensifying at a dangerous rate. quickly ruffling through my TapOut bag i pull out my italian made butterfly knife, flip it open in a nano second and launch it straight over my opponents head. as the blade goes whizzing through the air my opponent goes bug eyed and is frozen in fear. with a loud thud the entire wall shakes as my knife buries itself deep into the drywall. before the table can respond i go back to my bag and produce my 2nd butterfly knife and say in an eerily calm voice, "next one goes thru ur ass" as i stare down my opponent. gently setting my knife down by my mountain of cheques i see HeyN8 holding back a smile as he knows this ish just got rly real.
"yo HeyN8, lets get lifted. blunt break bro - gotta get my head straight." i say.
nodding in agreement we get up from the table and make our way out the backdoor and lean up against the house, taking our bags with us.
"yo u got this one aight?" i say to him, "i'll smoke u down next time probably" assuring him i won't leave him hanging. as HeyN8 starts packing a tight one i continue on, "so how much you down bro?"
looking up from the blizzie he's rollin up, he gives me a pained look and says, "i dunno man, it's gotta be like 3 or 4 hundo. i gotta double up and then some..."
"yea thats coo, that's coo. lets get me back to even first then we'll worry about you" i say. "these phucks are stackin the deck, or marked cards...or somethin.." i say as i trail off thinkin about what kinda play they're runnin'.
"they keep gettin big ass overpairs Modus!" HeyN8 says exasperatedly. becoming panicked he starts talking faster, "these punk ass jokers man, they phuckin- dude they gotta cheat to beat us, simple as that, so sick man. PHUCK!"
"yea for real" i say in agreement, "and does Brennen think he's that hot or somethin? seriously he's not good looking dude."
Taking puffs from the phattie blunt HeyN8 and I discuss how we're gonna even things out a little bit. We've ran games before. normally we play straight up until we're stuck, typically because the other players resort to cheatin b/c we're stackin sick cheese 31 (i kno dudes). luckily they're playin with a blue bicycle deck. i come prepared to all my games with back up decks for situations just like these. I tell HeyN8 we'll pull the classic "Modus Swap" - i'll finish suckin down this blunt while i stack a fresh deck for a sick cooler. when the deal's on me, we'll set up a little distraction so everyone from the table is focused elsewhere. with the quickness i'll take the old deck off the table and replace it with the one sittin under my left ass check. the cards will be dealt and they'll be none the wiser!
Sifting through my TapOut bag I pull out the fresh deck and set the cards so I'll get Rockets, and i'll give brennen the stupid phuckin jakes he likes so much. as I begin placing the cards i jump in fear as i hear the backdoor swing open. Hastily turning my back to the door to hide the deck i look over my shoulder and see Brennen peeking his head around as he says, "hey guys! you mind if i take a drag?"
"phuck off Brennen!" i shout back at him. As he heads back inside I quickly finish off setting up the hole cards and rush back inside before they suspect anything.
As my deal begins to approach me, my heart starts going a mile a minute against my chest. As the adrenaline surges through my body i begin to look around the table as the deck is passed to me. I can see my hand visibly shaking as i give the deck a few shuffles. feeling the time is right i let out a light cough, signaling to HeyN8 it's time to do this thing.
Without delay HeyN8 instantly jumps up from his seat and hurls his half empty Monster Energy drink against the wall. As it explodes with a loud pop the liquid sprays across the room and everyone's heads are turned away from the table. At that moment I take the deck off the table and swap it out with the fixed one sitting on my lap. sick, too easy. Everyone turns their heads around in confusion to HeyN8 looking for an explanation when he simply says, "oops".
"alright boys! alright! lets keep this game going!" i say as i'm on my feet carefully sliding each card individually to each player at the table (don't wanna phuck this up and have a mis-deal, digs?)
Once all the cards are out I peek down to see my pocket rockets, black ones. on the outside i'm koo as a cucumber for real, but on the inside i'm lickin my chops lookin to bust up brennen for his stack.
Brennen is in EP and open for $2, there's a caller before it gets back to me on the butt. Milking this for all it's worth i cut out some raising cheques and make a speech, "u ain't got sh*t, b*****" i say as i stare into brennen's hazel eyes. without breaking eye contact i bloat up the pot with a raise to $19 straight.
Looking very interested in my raise size brennen goes back to his stack. he quickly moves out the chips for a call to the side of his cards while he counts down the rest of his stack. looking on with glee i'm eyeing his stacks like a hungry jackal finna chow down on an abandoned gazelle. Seeing he has a little over $100 more in his stack his sits back at mulls it over for a minute. Out of nowhere he shrugs his shoulders and moves in the rest of his chips saying, "alright you probably got me...i'm all in."
"yes brennen....i do got you." i cooly say as i slowly roll over my Bullets, not bothering to put another chip in the pot. Beaming in delight as i see his face move from uncertainty to utter depression when he sees my rockets, he sheepishly rolls over his trusty phuckin jakes. Moving to my feet in excitement I begin to run out the board.
Flop: 10
7 8 "oh sh*t..." i think to myself as i can feel my face burning with anger and worry, "i forgot to set the board..."
11-25-2012
, 06:03 PM
11-25-2012
, 08:16 PM
11-25-2012
, 11:22 PM
11-26-2012
, 09:04 PM
11-27-2012
, 01:05 AM
Staring at the board for a moment my gaze slowly turns towards HeyN8, by the terrified look on my face he knows i've forgotten to set a clean board. I can feel the sweat building in the palm of my hand as i squeeze the deck tightly in anger.
as if i can see into the future, it feels like i'm awaiting my inevitable fate. i know it's coming. phuckin pokerstars does it to me everyday. this phuckin game is so rigged i can't even rig it myself, wtf. everyone around the table is on their feet with hopeful smiles across their face as they anxiously await for their home game hero to suck out and scoop a pot. giving HeyN8 one final look of remorse i decide not to delay it any further and take what's comin to me.
Not looking as I peel off the turn there's a collective roar as the card hits the table.
BOOM. Jake of spades. (J)
Feeling my stomach turn in on itself i let out an emphatic wail of misery. Holding back tears I can feel my face grow red beyond recognition as I involuntarily turn away from the table and fall to my knees. "uuuughhhhhhh!!!!! WHY THE PHUCK IS THIS HAPPENING TO MEEEEE!!!" i scream out in rage. Sitting back on my heels I lament my bad luck. 82.2% to scoop and they give the sucker gin on the turn?
feeling that all eyes are on me i know i gotta get back to the table. as i start to rise to my feet i look down at my supinated hand, in a moment of euphoria i see the answer to all my troubles sitting on the bottom of the deck. the beautiful A
is staring back at me as i sit with my back turned to the table. I know what must be done. I've practiced it thousands of times, I've pulled it off against some of the best, and most dangerous cats in the game. "cakewalk" i think to myself. finally, my luck is beginning to turn.
as i turn to face the table everyone is at a loss for words when they see the wide smile on my face as i playfully say, "it's not over yet boys! we still got one more card to come..." slowly walking back to the table i'm having a hard time believing it's actually going to happen. ever since i laid eyes on him i've been waiting for this moment, craving it so badly, yearning for it for so long, desiring it with every inch of my body....i'm finally gonna do it.....i'm gonna phuck brennen!
wanting this moment to be perfect i make sure there's complete silence in the room before i bottom deal the riv, crushing brennens dreams. "alright everyone! settle down now, settle down..."
closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath as i kick the bottom card out with my middle finger. to my horror it inexplicably stops half way out. the sweat from my palm hinders the card from sliding out clean. anyone watching can clearly see it, i've caught a hanger. it only happens for a split second but it seems to last for an eternity. the moment is suspended in time while i run through my options in my head. quickly coming to a decision i think to myself, "phuck it! you don't kno they've seen it, u gotta get ur monies Modus! Get paid!" With my hand only stopping for a brief second i throw all caution to the wind and rip off the river and slam down the Ah.
As the A hits the river, HeyN8 and I are the only ones cheering this time. "Yaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! PHUCK YAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" i scream, "lets go babbyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, thats how we do it!!!!"
"ahahahahahaha" HeyN8 laughs, "nice hand Modus!"
as our celebration comes to an end i notice my tablemates haven't moved an inch. with their eyes focused entirely on me there's an awkward silence in the room as no one is sure how to move forward. knowing i gotta continue on with the charade i say, "ahhhhh tough luck brah" as brennen stares at me with complete disgust. "you almost had me........almost" i say, winking at him. being the first to re-take my seat i begin to drag the mountain of cheques back to my stack when out of nowhere one of the boggart tablemates (who wasn't even involved in the hand) blurts out, "dude phuck that, you dealt that from the bottom of the deck!"
instantly jumpping up from the table I rip off my tank, exposing the 3.5% in all it's glory. bum rushing this punk i get nose to nose with him i spit in his face saying, "what the phucks up! wussup?!?! you think i cheated?? u think i'm a cheat?????" i say wide eyed like a lunatic. in a moment of rage i grab him by the throat and slam him into the drywall. turning around i see brennen running across the table, coming straight at me, yielding my italian made butterfly knife.
as if i can see into the future, it feels like i'm awaiting my inevitable fate. i know it's coming. phuckin pokerstars does it to me everyday. this phuckin game is so rigged i can't even rig it myself, wtf. everyone around the table is on their feet with hopeful smiles across their face as they anxiously await for their home game hero to suck out and scoop a pot. giving HeyN8 one final look of remorse i decide not to delay it any further and take what's comin to me.
Not looking as I peel off the turn there's a collective roar as the card hits the table.
BOOM. Jake of spades. (J
) Feeling my stomach turn in on itself i let out an emphatic wail of misery. Holding back tears I can feel my face grow red beyond recognition as I involuntarily turn away from the table and fall to my knees. "uuuughhhhhhh!!!!! WHY THE PHUCK IS THIS HAPPENING TO MEEEEE!!!" i scream out in rage. Sitting back on my heels I lament my bad luck. 82.2% to scoop and they give the sucker gin on the turn?
feeling that all eyes are on me i know i gotta get back to the table. as i start to rise to my feet i look down at my supinated hand, in a moment of euphoria i see the answer to all my troubles sitting on the bottom of the deck. the beautiful A
is staring back at me as i sit with my back turned to the table. I know what must be done. I've practiced it thousands of times, I've pulled it off against some of the best, and most dangerous cats in the game. "cakewalk" i think to myself. finally, my luck is beginning to turn. as i turn to face the table everyone is at a loss for words when they see the wide smile on my face as i playfully say, "it's not over yet boys! we still got one more card to come..." slowly walking back to the table i'm having a hard time believing it's actually going to happen. ever since i laid eyes on him i've been waiting for this moment, craving it so badly, yearning for it for so long, desiring it with every inch of my body....i'm finally gonna do it.....i'm gonna phuck brennen!
wanting this moment to be perfect i make sure there's complete silence in the room before i bottom deal the riv, crushing brennens dreams. "alright everyone! settle down now, settle down..."
closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath as i kick the bottom card out with my middle finger. to my horror it inexplicably stops half way out. the sweat from my palm hinders the card from sliding out clean. anyone watching can clearly see it, i've caught a hanger. it only happens for a split second but it seems to last for an eternity. the moment is suspended in time while i run through my options in my head. quickly coming to a decision i think to myself, "phuck it! you don't kno they've seen it, u gotta get ur monies Modus! Get paid!" With my hand only stopping for a brief second i throw all caution to the wind and rip off the river and slam down the Ah.
As the A
hits the river, HeyN8 and I are the only ones cheering this time. "Yaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! PHUCK YAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" i scream, "lets go babbyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, thats how we do it!!!!" "ahahahahahaha" HeyN8 laughs, "nice hand Modus!"
as our celebration comes to an end i notice my tablemates haven't moved an inch. with their eyes focused entirely on me there's an awkward silence in the room as no one is sure how to move forward. knowing i gotta continue on with the charade i say, "ahhhhh tough luck brah" as brennen stares at me with complete disgust. "you almost had me........almost" i say, winking at him. being the first to re-take my seat i begin to drag the mountain of cheques back to my stack when out of nowhere one of the boggart tablemates (who wasn't even involved in the hand) blurts out, "dude phuck that, you dealt that from the bottom of the deck!"
instantly jumpping up from the table I rip off my tank, exposing the 3.5% in all it's glory. bum rushing this punk i get nose to nose with him i spit in his face saying, "what the phucks up! wussup?!?! you think i cheated?? u think i'm a cheat?????" i say wide eyed like a lunatic. in a moment of rage i grab him by the throat and slam him into the drywall. turning around i see brennen running across the table, coming straight at me, yielding my italian made butterfly knife.
11-27-2012
, 02:56 AM
11-27-2012
, 03:34 AM
11-27-2012
, 06:58 AM
Quote:
slowly walking back to the table i'm having a hard time believing it's actually going to happen. ever since i laid eyes on him i've been waiting for this moment, craving it so badly, yearning for it for so long, desiring it with every inch of my body....i'm finally gonna do it.....i'm gonna phuck brennen!
11-27-2012
, 07:55 AM
