I can't take someone with a Chargers avatar serious...and I'm from the 858

yo imma have to let Modus pop off on this one right quick.

when i bust up in the place every head at the table whips around to catch a peek. might be the 47 inch chest that's blastin through my L.A. Galaxy track jacket. might be the Gucci Guilty. i dunno. what i do kno is these dudes are fixated on the masterpiece (3.5% body fat) that everyone knows simply by, Modus.

Giving HeyN8 the daps as he eagerly comes to greet me i say, "aw snape..snape! whattap son! you stackin these fools or what?!"

As a smirk spreads across his face he looks to the ground and replies, "oh you kno how i do! just tryna get these monies."

Interrupting our conversation the supposed ring leader of the gang comes up to me with an extended hand, smiling up at me he says, "hi, nice to meet you, I'm Brennen. Welcome!"

Staring at him out of the corner of my eye I choose not to acknowledge his handshake as my eyes move from his preppy face to his even preppier attire. Who does this guy think he is? Walkin around in his slim fit sweater over his button down shirt + his infinitely wet hair. guy thinks he's DiCaprio or somethin. He's not tho. Does he really think he's still the best looking guy in here? Phuck this guy, for real.

"yea...cool" i say, passing right by him and taking the empty seat next to HeyN8.

Looking slightly flustered Brennen walks back to his seat and throws the chip case down on the table. Popping it open he looks at me and says, "how much you in for?"

WTF, seriously who does this dude think he is? does he not kno i just benched 355 for 6 sets today? his hair hasn't moved an inch since i saw him. does this clown really think he's groomed better than the best in breed? nobody challenges Modus for the throne. this miscreant thinks he's got a real shot tho, i can tell. scowling at him i can't help but envision my brass knucks pulverizing his cheek bones into dust. if this phuck crosses me one more time it's going down.

"....how much do you want.." he repeats, looking back at me while i continue to mean mug him.

snapping out of it i stand up from my seat and distractedly reply, "a thousand." tossing my money clip on the table i let him deal with the transaction as i make my way to the bathroom.

Shutting the door tightly behind me i carefully take off my under armour skull cap and place it in my TapOut drawstring bag. Pulling out Nick Chavez styling clay i ruffle up my hair and fashion it into a peaked side-crop. I'm so phuckin GQ right now. Can't nobody step to this! Not stopping there I hastily unzipping my L.A. Galaxy track jacket i leave only the skin tight Hurley tank top hugging my bulging pecs. Pumping some blood back into the teats i crank out some plyometric push ups and swell up like a smoked sausage. One final look in the mirror and i bust out the bathroom door, making my second entrance to the game.

can't say i'm surprised when all the heads turn again, even some of the phags are trying to hold back a smile, probably from the magnificent sight of it all. before i can regain my seat, Brennen is counting out my cheques when he gives me a confused look and says, "uhhh, dude we don't have $1,000 in chips..."

catching him giving the pecs a quick glance, i reply, "yea whatever brah, just gimmie what u got and i'll leave the rest on the table....cash plays...right?"

thinking it over for a minute he shruggs his shoulders and looks around the table for confirmation, "...yea sure, that's fine."

As he empties out the chip case I align my stack Jason Mercier style and leave the remaining Bennies chillin on top. These cats are so jelly of my stack. Tips tho, so typical i'm the only true alpha dawg in the room, don't even need to flaunt it rly. As the cards are dealt i wrap both arms around my massive stack and get ready for the game.

"yo brennen...you workout bro?" i say, glancing at him, then down to my biceps, then back up at him.

"nahhh, not really." he replies.

"yea i can tell." i say.

First hand comes up and i'm squeezing out the J 7 there's a raise in EP to $2, Brennen calls, along with two others. Seeing Brennen in the hand, naturally I cold call behind in the BB.

I hit slot machine on the flop.

Flop: 7 6 3

Top pair in a deep stack game has great value a lot of room to improve to two pairs. Pot's around $10 and i lead out to $1.50. i'm finna get worse hands calling here 31, and i can seduce someone to make a bluff raise. the EP player calls, along with Brennen. When the action comes on one of the MP callers he takes a few seconds before silently moving in a small stack. Raising it up to $12 straight the other cold caller folds and it's back on me. Pulling up my drawstring bag i toss is on the table and pop out my Prada sunglasses. Taking a good long look at him my instincts tell me to call. Knowing if I call here I might face multiple barrels on a number of bad turn cards, i decide my commitment level to the hand. Sliding on my prada sunglasses I match his $12. Quickly the rest of the table fires their cards into the muck.

Turn: 8

Giving the table a full fist check I pass the action on my to opponent. Not taking long he shoots out a second bullet, this time $24.50. Knowing he's playin on the scary turn I call and continue with my original plan to call on almost 80% of rivs.

River: 9

Once again I check over and let my lagtard opponent hang himself again. Taking a little longer this time he counts down the rest of his stack and moves it in the middle. $38.25, all-in.

Milking the clock I wait a minute or two before I carefully snap off a crisp bennie and gently place it in the middle of the pot. looking at him through the designer lenses i smoothly say, "i call..." and instantly table my J 7

J7 is good. All day.

JJ one time.

better not be fuggin jakes

Modus is gonna kick off when he sees dem Jakes!

5*

you have blockers to the jake ten

Does the lagtard have 7,10?

You know this is jakes

I hate people that read and dont reply. fkn ******* sheepleechers.

Well worth the read. 5*

Wow, that last post is pure gold.

If you read his work, you need to atl show appreciation and that you read the thread and give some sort of input. Otherwise he might not feel appreciated and decide that posting stories is like throwing pearls to swine.

Modus b the man wanna see you doing good, i don't wanna get rich and leave you in the hood...

Thread is GOLD

set of 66 imo

Moar

Popped my 5* vote cherry.

Outstanding.

You have a single jake in your hand. You must be good.

so many awesome casual random references slid in there. i like the all expenses paid trip to brokesville and the stone cold steve austin nuts

calling jacks jakes and being pissed someone calls them jocks lmao

MOOOOOARRR

Ok, I'll bite.. what did he have?

this is killing me. im officially an addict, please post more.

Patience my son