Unable to conceal the wide smile on my face I stand up from the table as I cheerfully rake in my cheques. "i phuckin love this game!" i say to the table. Stacking my towers back up to their respectable heights I look up towards the dealer noticing the next hand has yet to be dealt.
Gripping the deck tightly in his hand, the proprietor has his eyes fixed on me. with a threatening look about him, he coldly says, "...if you slowroll one more time we're kicking you out and keeping your money."
"oh i'm sorry" i say, "...was that your boyfriend I just soul pwned??" i ask with an sarcastic, innocent tone.
"no, but if you do it again i'll kick the s*** out of you." he replies (as if i really did just soul pwn his bf.)
quietly laughing to myself i shoot back, "ha, sure thing boss."
After my big hand I'm content to sit back for a while and lock up my winnings for the time being. Close to an hour passes and the action is almost non existent as the night continues to creep into the early morning. I've managed to keep my stack around even until I pick up the A
10
in the SB. The proprietor of the game is in MP and opens it up for a raise to $2.25. Due to our recent history, coupled with him assaulting me in the early hours of our game, I'm lookin to bust him here. This guy acts like he's Taylor phuckin Lautner or something. He thinks he's so good looking, but he's not.
The entire table behind him calls. Lately the game flow has been crazy passive, I decide now is a great time to put an end to that. Assuming my position of table captain I look to isolate the owner and take him head up for his stack.
"oohhh buddy, you have no idea what you're getting yourself into here." i playfully say as I break off a quarter of one of my towers. Pushing in a stack of blues into the middle i verbalize my bet, "twenty." looking him dead in the eyes as I'm doing so.
Meeting my stare he pauses for a minute before his eyes glance back down at his chips. Giving it little thought he pops me right back, "Sixty.." he calmly says, taking back his original bet and exchanging it for 6 blacks.
Without much of any thought my instincts tell me to mini-raise him back to pick up some more info. "hundie" i coolly say as I match his 6 blacks and throw in 2 more of my own. Realizing I've acted slightly out of turn, the original flat callers all fold their hands without giving it much thought.
Rolling his eyes like he's ****** durrrr he looks up at the ceiling and monotonously says, "i'm all in." like he's bored out of his mind.
Insta-tilted by his complete gheyness I mimic his expressions and roll my eyes toward the ceiling while I monotonously reply, "i call." Not bothering to count down his stack. I see my opportunity to bust him and I must take it.
The energy in the room is contagious as suddenly everyone is on their feet in anticipation of the cards being turned over.
The proprietor wastes no time in tabling his J
J
.
With fire in my eyes as I see pocket MF jakes again. i shout out, "IS THIS FOR REAL???" YOU MF SHOW UP WITH JAKES EVERY HAND!"
Squeamishly I turn over my hand as the room seems to spin in circles. I can't take this s***, how many friggin coolers can go down in one game....let alone to the same guy??? It's so ***** ridiclous, this s*** never happens online, it's fuggin impossible.
Then it hits me. It is impossible. Think about it. Jakes, jakes, jakes, all damn day. All in and they have jakes everytime. These mf weseals are passing their jakes around to each other under the table. It's a phuckin set up!
As the board runs out dry I break off the remainder of what I owe ($10.75). Not worrying myself with minor details I bust out my phone and text up my homie.
"you phaggs care if my friend joins us?" I ask the table.
"that's fine" the proprietor says as he stacks up his winnings with a smile on his face.
Getting a reply back from my road dowg I see, "whattap! yea, i'll be there in 10!"
making sure to text him before he leaves his place i text back, "i'm getting cheated, we need to run the table bro."
"no doubt." he replies.
Moments later he's bustin through the door with phat stacks in his hand.
Jumping up to meet him i give him some skin and say, "Modus...whattap bro!!"
Last edited by HeyN8itsDan; 11-20-2012 at 01:35 AM.