SICK marathon session w/ mega coolers
11-16-2012
, 12:33 AM
"phuck." i think to myself. "either he's got me beat, i got him crushed, or we're choppin."
examining my opponent i see a nervous look in his indian eyes as he's hesitant to roll over his hand. becoming more confident in holdings, i grin over at him and say, "even ghandi can't help you now bro! turn over your rags!"
ignoring my comment he meekly speaks up and says, "i have jocks."
"jocks? what the F are jocks you ******?" i say to him.
shooting me a perplexed look, he repeats, "....jocks, i have jocks" as he slowly turns over his pocket jakes no flush draw.
"LOL!" i shout. "are you kidding me dude? you kno i have you drawing stone dead like 90% of the time in this spot??? you dont even have a spade!!" i say in utter disbelief. jumping up from my seat in another bilnd rage i'm at a loss for words at the shameful call that was just put on me.
before i can get back to my seat the dealer doesn't bother waiting and tables my mid pair + gutshot straight draw to the nuts.
upon seeing my hand my opponent instantly jumps up from his seat and his demeanor takes a complete 180. As if he was playing for the world phuckin series of poker he's hovering over the table with an excited and worried look on his face as he screams out, "HOLDDD!!! COME ON BABY! HOLD!"
"phuck you!" i shout at him and i stand next to him in anticipation of the river card. watching this boggart get so worked up tilts me to no end. i don't care if i go compeltely broke tonight, but i want nothing more than to suck out on this piece of s*** and scoop this pot right up from under his greasy fingers.
"SIX, SEVEN, OR EIGHT!" i cry out. "SIX, SEVEN OR EIGHT, ONE TIME DEALER, DON'T DO IT TO ME, DON'T PHUCK ME DEALER!"
"C'MON BABY! HOOOLLDD" he shrieks out in his indian accent, challenging me for the favor of the nonexistant poker gods he clearly believes so much in.
As we see the dealer prepare to flip the riv, there's a moment of silence before the card hits the felt.
As the J
lands on the river he screams out, "YES! YES!!!" as his hands go above his head in celebration.
Losing control of everything I cry out, "PHUUUCKK!!" with all of my might, as spit goes flying out of my mouth. before i kno it my fist is cocked back and in the blink of an eye it connects squarely into his stomach. his celebration chant comes to an abrupt halt as he goes crashing to the ground.
examining my opponent i see a nervous look in his indian eyes as he's hesitant to roll over his hand. becoming more confident in holdings, i grin over at him and say, "even ghandi can't help you now bro! turn over your rags!"
ignoring my comment he meekly speaks up and says, "i have jocks."
"jocks? what the F are jocks you ******?" i say to him.
shooting me a perplexed look, he repeats, "....jocks, i have jocks" as he slowly turns over his pocket jakes no flush draw.
"LOL!" i shout. "are you kidding me dude? you kno i have you drawing stone dead like 90% of the time in this spot??? you dont even have a spade!!" i say in utter disbelief. jumping up from my seat in another bilnd rage i'm at a loss for words at the shameful call that was just put on me.
before i can get back to my seat the dealer doesn't bother waiting and tables my mid pair + gutshot straight draw to the nuts.
upon seeing my hand my opponent instantly jumps up from his seat and his demeanor takes a complete 180. As if he was playing for the world phuckin series of poker he's hovering over the table with an excited and worried look on his face as he screams out, "HOLDDD!!! COME ON BABY! HOLD!"
"phuck you!" i shout at him and i stand next to him in anticipation of the river card. watching this boggart get so worked up tilts me to no end. i don't care if i go compeltely broke tonight, but i want nothing more than to suck out on this piece of s*** and scoop this pot right up from under his greasy fingers.
"SIX, SEVEN, OR EIGHT!" i cry out. "SIX, SEVEN OR EIGHT, ONE TIME DEALER, DON'T DO IT TO ME, DON'T PHUCK ME DEALER!"
"C'MON BABY! HOOOLLDD" he shrieks out in his indian accent, challenging me for the favor of the nonexistant poker gods he clearly believes so much in.
As we see the dealer prepare to flip the riv, there's a moment of silence before the card hits the felt.
As the J
lands on the river he screams out, "YES! YES!!!" as his hands go above his head in celebration.Losing control of everything I cry out, "PHUUUCKK!!" with all of my might, as spit goes flying out of my mouth. before i kno it my fist is cocked back and in the blink of an eye it connects squarely into his stomach. his celebration chant comes to an abrupt halt as he goes crashing to the ground.
11-16-2012
, 01:09 PM
11-16-2012
, 08:47 PM
11-17-2012
, 07:33 PM
for a moment it's as if everything is in slow motion. As my fist lands squarely against my opponents stomach his eyes grow wide with shock and fear. Tumbling to the ground, his hands wrap around his stomach and he's writhing on the floor gasping for breath.
"*aaaauuuuuhhh!! aaaauuuuuhhh!*" villain wheezes on the floor as he struggles to fill his lungs with air.
knowing i've crossed the line this time, i feel its time to mend fences before i get 86'd for real and don't have the chance to rack up everyone's cheques. kneeling down to the ground next to him I offer him a gentlemen's handshake and say, "nice hand." hoping to put this whole ordeal behind us.
completely ignoring my peace offering he rolls over from his side onto his knees as he's finally able to catch his breath. kneeling on all fours like a demoralized dog he looks at me and disgust and says, "what the f*** dood!"
before i can respond i feel my surroundings closing in on me as everyone from the table has circled us. becoming paralyzed with fear from the possibility an unfair (and unjust) beat down i do whatever I can to find favor in their eyes.
reaching out and grabbing villain by both hands i cry out, "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry bro!" as i stand up and help him on his felt. "i don't know what happened" i say as i shake my head, "....it's these beats, it's these phuckin beats man, why the F would you call with jakes there???"
I help walk him back over to his seat in hopes of getting the game running again. Slowly, everyone follows suit. As the commotion begins to settle down I wait for a pause in the action when i say, "here..." as i start cutting out cheques from my personal stack. "no hard feelings man..." as i toss him 4 reds (50c pieces). My eyes dart around the table to gather the collective response of my generosity.
"wtf, you're only giving him $2? are you serious??" one of my table mates yells out.
"that's 4 bb's!" i shout
after some discussion the table agrees I either have to ship this mongrel 10 bones or leave the game asap.
mulling it over i come to a decision. bitterly i slide over a stack of reds i say, "don't phuckin matter, you idiots are just holdin onto them for me anyways."
feeling the tilt monster rise up inside of me i speak up and ask, "what say we kick it up a bit....$2 $4 no limit anyone?" i ask, as i smugly look around the table. these boggarts haven't been anywhere near a $2/$4nl table. if you can't handle the heat stay out the kitchen.
"no, we're not playing $2/$4." the proprietor says bluntly as he begins to deal out the next hand.
sighing in disappointment i mutter under my breath, "you posers wouldn't last a second in Vegas..."
Taking my sunglasses off to rub my eyes, is apparent the fatigue of this marathon session is setting in. The roller coaster of emotions i've been experiencing is beginning to take it's toll. The adrenaline has finally died down and the effect of the 7 xanax's i took earlier is starting to kick in. Not wanting to lose focus and give up my edge i dig through my book bag I produce yet another prescription bottle. Poppin off the lid to my 60mg adderall pills i carelessly tilt the bottle let 3 tumble onto the felt. My tablemates start to shoot eachother some perplexed looks as they witness me self-medicating for the 2nd time tonight. Going back into my bag I pull out a Monster Energy drink. Hastily I throw back my addy's and chug my drink before I settle back into my seat with a new drive and determination to bust all these wankers.
I let the next few hands go as I decide to let the game slow down before I crank it back up again. A few orbits pass by when I find myself with pocket 9
9 on the button. Adjusting myself in my chair I sit upright as I wait for the action to come to me. My laser focus is at an all time high and my computer brain is firing on all cylinders. I'm playing top notch pokes right now. There's a raise in MP to $2 and one flatter right behind him. The action comes around to me and I pop my head up like a meerkat and examine my opponents stack.
Surveying their stacks I see MP has around $30 and the LP caller is sittin on more like $45.
Quietly I cut out my cheques and count down my raise. Stacking them back up, I count them down again 6 more times before I re-check my hole cards. Breathing out a sigh of disappointment I give a half-frown as I slide in my raise of $17.25.
The blinds quickly kick in their cards and it's back on the original raiser. Without hesitation he says, "i call" not bothering to ask the amount of the raise. the LP caller gets out of the way and we're head up to the flop. Getting flat barreled pre flop so quick sends off warning bells in my head, aorn I got him sittin on some suited broadways for sure, maybe rockets. As the dealer burns and turns all I'm thinkin is "no ace, king, queen or jake, no ace, king queen, or jake."
The flop rolls out a beautiful 9
6 7 rainbow and i'm left stunned for a moment realizing i've just flopped the nizzles.
"*aaaauuuuuhhh!! aaaauuuuuhhh!*" villain wheezes on the floor as he struggles to fill his lungs with air.
knowing i've crossed the line this time, i feel its time to mend fences before i get 86'd for real and don't have the chance to rack up everyone's cheques. kneeling down to the ground next to him I offer him a gentlemen's handshake and say, "nice hand." hoping to put this whole ordeal behind us.
completely ignoring my peace offering he rolls over from his side onto his knees as he's finally able to catch his breath. kneeling on all fours like a demoralized dog he looks at me and disgust and says, "what the f*** dood!"
before i can respond i feel my surroundings closing in on me as everyone from the table has circled us. becoming paralyzed with fear from the possibility an unfair (and unjust) beat down i do whatever I can to find favor in their eyes.
reaching out and grabbing villain by both hands i cry out, "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry bro!" as i stand up and help him on his felt. "i don't know what happened" i say as i shake my head, "....it's these beats, it's these phuckin beats man, why the F would you call with jakes there???"
I help walk him back over to his seat in hopes of getting the game running again. Slowly, everyone follows suit. As the commotion begins to settle down I wait for a pause in the action when i say, "here..." as i start cutting out cheques from my personal stack. "no hard feelings man..." as i toss him 4 reds (50c pieces). My eyes dart around the table to gather the collective response of my generosity.
"wtf, you're only giving him $2? are you serious??" one of my table mates yells out.
"that's 4 bb's!" i shout
after some discussion the table agrees I either have to ship this mongrel 10 bones or leave the game asap.
mulling it over i come to a decision. bitterly i slide over a stack of reds i say, "don't phuckin matter, you idiots are just holdin onto them for me anyways."
feeling the tilt monster rise up inside of me i speak up and ask, "what say we kick it up a bit....$2 $4 no limit anyone?" i ask, as i smugly look around the table. these boggarts haven't been anywhere near a $2/$4nl table. if you can't handle the heat stay out the kitchen.
"no, we're not playing $2/$4." the proprietor says bluntly as he begins to deal out the next hand.
sighing in disappointment i mutter under my breath, "you posers wouldn't last a second in Vegas..."
Taking my sunglasses off to rub my eyes, is apparent the fatigue of this marathon session is setting in. The roller coaster of emotions i've been experiencing is beginning to take it's toll. The adrenaline has finally died down and the effect of the 7 xanax's i took earlier is starting to kick in. Not wanting to lose focus and give up my edge i dig through my book bag I produce yet another prescription bottle. Poppin off the lid to my 60mg adderall pills i carelessly tilt the bottle let 3 tumble onto the felt. My tablemates start to shoot eachother some perplexed looks as they witness me self-medicating for the 2nd time tonight. Going back into my bag I pull out a Monster Energy drink. Hastily I throw back my addy's and chug my drink before I settle back into my seat with a new drive and determination to bust all these wankers.
I let the next few hands go as I decide to let the game slow down before I crank it back up again. A few orbits pass by when I find myself with pocket 9
9 on the button. Adjusting myself in my chair I sit upright as I wait for the action to come to me. My laser focus is at an all time high and my computer brain is firing on all cylinders. I'm playing top notch pokes right now. There's a raise in MP to $2 and one flatter right behind him. The action comes around to me and I pop my head up like a meerkat and examine my opponents stack. Surveying their stacks I see MP has around $30 and the LP caller is sittin on more like $45.
Quietly I cut out my cheques and count down my raise. Stacking them back up, I count them down again 6 more times before I re-check my hole cards. Breathing out a sigh of disappointment I give a half-frown as I slide in my raise of $17.25.
The blinds quickly kick in their cards and it's back on the original raiser. Without hesitation he says, "i call" not bothering to ask the amount of the raise. the LP caller gets out of the way and we're head up to the flop. Getting flat barreled pre flop so quick sends off warning bells in my head, aorn I got him sittin on some suited broadways for sure, maybe rockets. As the dealer burns and turns all I'm thinkin is "no ace, king, queen or jake, no ace, king queen, or jake."
The flop rolls out a beautiful 9
6 7 rainbow and i'm left stunned for a moment realizing i've just flopped the nizzles.
11-18-2012
, 07:09 AM