Walking into my best bro’s frat house I’m clutching 5 crisp $20’s hot from the ATM machine. I purposely overdrew my bank account to buy into this juicy game – we play 25c 50c with a mandatory 25c ante from the button. I can smell the scent of stale beer as I glance at the stained carpeted stairs. walking into the basement I see 7 donkeys seated around a pool table, the game has begun. Most of the marks are wearing sunglasses, I don’t need sunglasses – I’m not James Sousa.

Buying in for $20 I sit down right as the BB is on me, a sign of good things to come. There’s folds around to the SB who pops me to $3 straight. I peek down at the 9 6 and hollywood for a bit, cutting out some raising chips and getting a read on him. Reluctantly, I toss the $2.50 call into the pot and put on my sunglasses. I have a weak hand, but I also have position and will be able to outplay my opponent on every street, I think this merits a call.

Flop: 9 8 3

I see a beautiful 9 high flop, giving me top pair. Villian instantly fires $6 into $7.25. I can smell his weakness from a mile away, before his chips even hit the felt I am sliding my stack into the middle of the table with both hands and remain silent.

Moaning like a whore he leans back into his chair and I can see his face twisting in agony. Scoffing at him I say, “thinking of making a hero call with your Ace Queen offsuit idiot? Muck your hand and cut your loses guy” Without replying he checks his cards again, glances at the flops, and says, “well I guess I have to call…” and tables his J J.

Turn: Q

River: Q

I am tilt. Jumping out of my chair and digging into my pockets I unload the last $80 and declare Rebuy. I don’t play shortstack poker. I’m not Victor Ramdin.


All parts through post 380 to save you scroll time

D-

No.

behave

5 stars for deception

didn't read.. new pics of 15 yr old girlfriend?

lmfao

C+

I give this about a D- also, didnt even chuckle.

B-. Keep em coming to raise your average

This.

Should I read this or not? Looks like not so far

sick marathon session with mega coolers, bro.

BAN! F-

felted cya

I like the part about the sunglasses. rest is pretty meh

where the marathon part starts?

As the chips slide over to the villain on my right I give him a friendly punch in the shoulder as I grin and say, “by the way…you’re almost always behind my shoving range in that spot.” He chooses not to respond, most likely because he has no phuckin idea what “range” even means. Phuckin amateurs.

Tossing my remaining $80 at the dealer he pops open the chip case and begins to chip me up. Blessed with my new 160bb stack I can feel the tilt excreting from my body as I start to align my checks into the Twin Towers (RIP). Two monster 1ft tall stacks I can barely see over, it feels like playing 5 10 deep stacked at the Venetian all over again. Slowly scanning the table I discover I have become the new chip leader, everyone will have fear of busting to me.

Pushing every edge and exploiting my massive stack I start playing like H@££INGGOL, raising every pot I can. Playing level 4 power poker I am freezing everyone at the table. Raking in my 6th pot in a row I count down my stack and see I am sitting fresh at $92, recouping almost all of my previous loses. I start feeling more and more invincible until the phuckin cooler of the century happens.

I pick up pocket Jakes (J J) and 3-bet a $1.50 open from UTG to $9.75. The table quickly folds around to the UTG opener who think for a while and asks, “how much did you raise?”

Staring at him through my polarized lenses I say nothing, and calmly motion to the $9.75 sitting in front of me. Asking his friend to count it down the genius figures out its $8.25 more to him. Taking in a deep breath he says, “I raise another $8.25.” Before his chips even make it past his cards I slide in the Twin Towers and remain silent.

“I call!” I hear him exclaim, as he excitedly jumps up from the table and turns over his A A.

Seeing his wide smile and bulging eyes he stares at my cards face down and says, “what do u got?!?!”

Enraged at the situation, and the ghey look on his face I say, “phuck you, this is a CASH GAME, i don’t have to show anyone my hand.”

The table goes in an uproar saying I must table my hand before the flop is dealt, standing my ground I am losing patience as I calmly begin to explain the rules.

lol, i actually like this a lot. can't wait for next installment. subscribed.

Waiting for the part where everybody slams a 2 liter of Bartles & Jaymes.

i like how you used the word 'mark' to describe lames. it's an old word, but one that shows steez.

-patreezy

waiting impatiently for the flop..

^^ agreed.

5*