You just can't possibly run worse than me

Within the last week of live poker:

-had a 20 hour stretch where I got aces one time

-how many ways can I lose with ak? Hmm, glad you asked. Get it all in pre vs 99 and lose. Then get it all in for 75bb preflop and lose vs 34o (flop ace and board has 4 hearts for v flush). Then get it again vs maniac who straddles every button and plays like 75% of hands and run it into aa, flop k high

-get 66 4 way pot flop 655, checks around, turn of course is a 5 to kill action/give someone quads. Just ended up killing what little action there was in that hand

-flop top two vs V who put in 350 pre with 34o in a different hand, he open mucks

-get TT in a game with a guy on my right straddling every hand for an hour where the avg preflop raise is $30+. Straddle, 3limps, I raise to $40, 2 callers, flop T73 rainbow, check to me I bet 75% of pot both call, turn 8, I shove for $77 both call, straddler shows j9o, river blank

-j6o in the bb, 6 limps I check. Flop j63 rainbow, I check raise button who calls. Turn blank, I bet 60% pot he calls river is 4 I check since he literally bet 90% of rivers when checked to, he goes all in which is like 75% of pot I snap call he shows 57o for river gutshot

-countless pots that are 7-8 ways to the flop with me the only guy folding since I had q2o yet again

-pick up 99 and open, jj flats, board comes all under, I bet flop and we x/c down and he wins (sweet aggression bro)

-pick up 99 again and open, board comes 78tt6 and he has quad tens, I lose the flop c bet and a 1/10th river bet by him (sweet quads bro)

-every ****ing player makes infinite mistakes and never gets punished... Calling raises from the sb with 95o, limping trash, limping aces, limping kings, straddling from the button and utg and middle position

-typical hand: 4 limps I limp along on button with a4s. Flop A99 utg donks out one caller so I fold, turns out utg had 88 and caller had A2 and actually won a nice pot by calling 3 streets. I hate life.

***Bonus dfs runbad***

Had a full texans stack (savage, Hopkins, Ellington, and Miller) along with Michael Thomas, gronk and balt dst

At one point I was up in the top 20 of milly maker with more pmr than everyone above me. I had around 142 points with something like 280 pmr....

Then, donta foreman vultured not one, but two td

Thomas bricked out and missed 100 yd bonus despite ot

Gronk dudded

And I got a whopping 15.7 more points, 6 from gronk and the rest from my dst

Not reading all of that
You probably just suck at poker

Runbad
Playbad

Not mutually exclusive

Tldr: people shoveled chips in with gutshots, I had top two and top set, lost 2x

Lost ak vs 34o all in pre for 350

Life sucks

sickening

Are you still up after taxes?

Found OP running like ****

Funny thing is I probably should be down even more

-had 69s in bb, 6 ways, flop four flush, x/c a 1/5 pot size bet, turn the flush, lead out for 60% pot, wild maniac who I've seen lose 250bb stack on the flop with top pair 2nd kicker flats, river pairs board so I x/min raise with intention to fold to a 3! because I know he won't fold trips but will bet them, plus he loves to bluff, he sigh calls 2nd nut flush

-hard not to be on perma tilt when the guy who straddles 95% of hands is sitting there complaining that he didn't get paid on his royal flush an hour ago. Meanwhile, since then, he's hit quads with J3o and then flopped the nut flush and some idiot tried to 4! The river with a straight when it was obvious that he was beat from the beginning. But yeah, you're so card dead, sir. Even though you've had the literal stone nuts twice in four hands and people try to push you off them/fire in their whole stack with like the 9th nuts

I wish I had an accurate record of all the hand histories when I've had KK, AA, and AK

It's just been either no action at all, or people destroy my AK

Wish I had stats on how many small pairs I've played in 6+ way pots and whiffed on the set, or hit the set and got literally $0 more from anyone

Wish I knew exactly how many times I've raised AJs or AQs after 5 limps, 4 of them call, flop comes K88 or something and someone randomly leads our for 50% of pot

Meanwhile its like these guys hands are face up 75% of the time. Like anytime you 3 bet, you have it. It's not hard to understand. So annoying. Two donks battling, river is completes a 3 flush but pairs board, guy leads out, other guy raises, first guy goes all in. Second guy now tanks for like a full minute and folds 2nd nut flush face up. Like who the **** cares, it's not even a hard fold, the board is paired, and you don't even have the nut flush but that's probably a fold too since this guy put his stack in in a paired board. Just think for 3 seconds, insta flat the river and move on. He's never calling a raise with less than the nut flush.

But the worst part is the discussion after the hand. Like the terrible odds calculations, the stack size debates, what would you do with the nut flush, "I knew I shoulda just called" etc etc.

To clarify, it's only "annoying" to have your opponents cards virtually face up in any large/3! pot when you run like absolute dogsh*t for hours on end and can't capitalize, while having to listen to other people's awful logic about why/how they lost when it was ****ing obvious they were beat

Like Yeah, you limped AA utg, got 6 way action, flop was 739 rainbow and someone has two pair. Wow, you run so bad sir! Aces are a 59% favorite to win there and it lost, ha ha ha ha so funny and accurate. I saw aces lose on TV once also. Happens to the best of us

The worst part itt.

To further clarify, I'm saying I LITERALLY CANNOT PLAY THE HAND without lighting massive ev on fire, so I fold pre. Like Yeah it's 5 limps to me on the button but I have J3o again. Or q7o in the small blind with 3 limps so I fold. Just trash after trash after trash. I honestly think I played about 10 hands total in the one 4 hour session. I just kept getting 2 thru 8 as first card, and then a high unsuited card. Over and over and ****ing over. So I kept folding. I wasn't tilting in the slightest because I know that's where some/most of my profit comes from, making folds where others don't. I'm not gonna limp with q4o no matter how much I'm stuck. But others do it every hand and win

The blind play is a sight to see

Even people I pegged as decent/solid players or possible marginal winners will just play sooo loose and bad from the sb. Like it's not okay to call with 58o when someone raises. It's not good to call with q9o either. And then they open limp on the button. Like Jesus, you have ****ing JJ, and the worst part is the bb will check back with AK or something. And I'm just stuck there folding q3o again

You should fold more rivers

I never make it to the river though because I raise up AJ and the flop comes 229 and people bet out and get called

Or I have a monster and everyone suddenly c/fold when they usually have no problem piling in chips with middle pair vs nits

Plays live.

Overplays ak.

Whines about random hands.

You seem to be right.

Ya you're right I have been too aggro with ak. Definitely a leak I need to fix

But at the same time I know I'll fold it and then see two people getting it in pre with AJ vs AQ

Worst part of it all is I can't get any action on my monsters

Like any other time, you're sitting there calling with middle pair

But when I flop middle set in a 7 way pot the entire table c/f and I win the absolute minimum

Then a few hours later when I raise utg for the first time in weeks I get 6 calls, and aa is no good vs 45o

My Gowd you run terrible dude!

Sounds like my poker diary OP. Only that it's a fraction of how bad I run.

Lose with AA three times, KK three times, Sets three times, all within 3 days, for pots ranging from $800 - $2000.

Get knocked out of the tournament AK vs AQ AIPF and flop QJ9s (I have the ace of spades) and the baord bricks out.

Flop set on dry board multiway and everyone's souls have already left their body.

Get AA and God forbid someone tries a squeeze play like when I try to play the QTs IP against the fish.

Again, this is just a fraction of the list.

^ shutup

+bout 350