Timeline last 2 or 3? weeks:

1.) deposit 1k 6 times over 1 week, lose.

2) deposit another 1k. Down to last $560, go to 5/10 nl hu and win $5000 from 1 player.

3) play some plo and come upon this hand (lost hand history because I deleted software just now)

A k j 5 (me)

Board QJ x x T

I scoop $20,000 pot, yes.

Next I play 100/200 and 200/400 lhe. Yes up to $70,000.

Then I have bad run at lhe hu vs the biggest idiots/hit n runners, down to $50k.

Then a terrible run at nlhe and plo down to $20k.

Check this hand: Ah Kh board

KK xx A, I lose to AA!

Finally now, as I am typing, I forget what has been going on the last 3-4 days. So many beats and hands. Down to my last $4,000.

Yep, I went from down a lot to reaching almost 6 figures. now I am just devastated. Down to almost nothing.

And i have messed up a lot of things such as schedule, relationships, family, etc.

Just devastated and embarassed at the moment. need some comfort and support. No where else to turn to. back in the gutter

Gamblock, Gambler's Anonymous, self exclude everywhere etc etc etc etc

^ pretty much.

And the answer to your original question is:

No you don't understand though. I sound like an idiot right now, but I do this for a living. I am just back down to around $10k, where I started.

How do I continue to play good? i dunno who can play good after this. not sure.

You may be a good player (maybe), but you're a degen who lacks discipline and tilt control. You pro poker experiment should end.

I've experienced this many many times but not with quite as large of figures. As a fellow degen it is my experience that it will take an enormous lifestyle and/or change in thinking patterns and attitude to stop the crazy tilt and stupid risks from happening. I would compare its difficulty to an alcoholic thinking "I'm never going to do such and such terrible behaviours I hate when I'm drunk ever again." ...but obviously, once they are drunk, their behaviours are out of their control.

I dunno, try like 6 months of yoga and meditation and healthy thinking and see what that does for you.

Standard weekend

What do you work as?

lol

I'm not even going there.

Fold river last hand

get some help dude before you're PMing Craggoo offering him a blow job for $10.

what about bankroll management?
Seems like you taking big risks with losses that affects you deeply.

solid first post.. respect

4000PLO, life roll on the table imo.

Obviously variance. We all will win in the long run and live together in the land of milk and honey

Lol at coming here for comfort. I find it hard to believe that you won $50k at $2/400 though, that's obv a lot for there, and unlike what you said, noone in that game is an idiot, and I also would have heard of you then. Would you say your stars name, or even nationality?

charges a lil less than $10 right?

So you are the big boss degenerate on 2p2. Because i thought there is only 1 above me: some1 like isildur1 or grimstarr

Can't even do it. Still haven't bought cousin and grandma gifts for holidays yet.

so now my friends, i am down to about 3k. Must come up with $2.5k each month to cover all expenses.

Sigh, didn't even get a chance to cash out. Cashed out about $5k when i had $80k. Stupid ass cash out rules!

It's sad the way things are now. I have to grind small stakes now. No other choice, it feels like ****, and the fun, the fine dining, the misc things which i took for granted before... that's all gone.

And if i bust this $3k, it will be living hell for 6 months. it will be riding the train station to clean the toilets.

feels like real work, playing 5c/10c - $1/$2.

not sure how i am going to do it for the next 6 MONTHS!!!!1111111111111111

Whenever I lose big I think of Gus Hansen and the feeling shrinks

Roll on table and post your SN so we can watch you go down in flames.

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