Bump for part 2 OP. There seems to be enough demand!

FYP.

Lol hilarious

Part 2 - I can confirm this 'story' is all legit, although I may 'exagerate' some parts with descriptive words for the sake of entertainment.

So my ex gf insta leaves the room.

I chase her out my bedroom door and say, "What? what's up... Sorry I was sick, you never seen vomit before? lol"

She replies with ".......That was *****, what is wrong with you?"

I couldn't hide it much longer, she left the house.... I cleaned myself up, went back to my room and started hammering a bottle of wine.

(Haven't drunk in 6 months) Due to being into my health and fitness.

Fast foward 30 mins, I'm tipsy as hell and I recieve a text from her.

"If you want to explain this to me, come round mine. I didn't travel 30 mins to see you for nothing"

I was in no state to drive so I had to ask my mum to take me (FML)

Started spinning in the car, the alcohol hit me harder than expected. I knew this was gonna be a kerfuffle ahead of me.


Anyways, I knock on her door, and her Father I've never met before answered. (She's normally wid her mum)

He was not intimidating by any means, and was about 5ft tall lol (srs)

He had an angry look on his face which startled me a bit, and made this sort of grunting noise as I entered the house like (hgmgggmgmmmm)

I'm chillin in her room and it's all goin great. I explain the eating contest the day before and told her I won the poker tournament (I didn't)

And that I'd treat her for a meal.



Fast forward 30 mins and it comes again. I need a *****.

I calmly say "brb" and pretend I had a phonecall. I ran to the nearest toilet in panic.

Well my luck had turned. It was a solid dry bullet. 1 Wipe and we were out of there in no time.


UNTIL............

knock on ex's bedroom door. It was midget Dad. I hear them discussing, then they both lead me to the bathroom. I'm like OH NO.


Turns out it didn't flush and it **** smelt so bad.

EX insta tells me to leave thinking it's some joke I'm playin on her, and her Dad sorta like tries to push me down the fkn stairs.

I manage to control it and run down although leaning forward holding onto the banister.

I was so happy with myself I look back up sorta smiling at her Dad like "PHUCK YOUUUU" (Although I didn't say that)

He then sprinted down the stairs charging like a rhino with what seemed to be like a clothesline attempt.

I ducked it... and this is when things got ****ed up. I think the alcohol made me feel confident.

I'm not a tough guy by any means, but I yelled something on the lines of "Fat Midget can't beat Jackie Chan BIATCH"

As I dodged him like a Ninja.

I then proceeded to say "COME AT ME BRO" srs.

He picked up a fkn umbrella and started swinging. At this point I just bolted out the back yard.

Part 3 soon. (It gets better)

LOL 5* confirmed.

Maratik for mod

haha we want moar

This happened to an employee of mine. As a side business, I own a property management company with my brother. He does most of the management and we have employees who do the work.

One place we manage is a multi level condo complex. There is a problem with the plumbing in the basement so we send in our guy to fix it. I'm there with him to show him what the problem is. Eventually it's diagnosed and he asks me to go door to door to ask that nobody run water for an hour while he's got the drain line apart. I do and then head home to let my dog out for a break.

He gets the pipes apart and is assessing the problem. While putting together his PVC pipes to reassemble the drain, he takes a look from straight underneath the stack and at the exact same second someone above flushed a toilet dousing him with all sorts of fecal matter. I get this frantic call from him saying he was just **** on and could he come by to clean up.

I guess the one unit I thought nobody was home turned out there was someone there and I just didn't know it. My bad. Cost me a change of clothes that I gave to him plus some pocket money to get some food on his way home, and I paid him for the rest of the day as hazard pay.

I felt guilty afterward because my brother and I had a good laugh about i.

5* this is brilliant

fake story is obviously fake, but still somewhat funny.

Thanks to other idiots posting fake stories, it's always hard to believe these.

Kinda funny though.

fake ghey fake is fake

Please proceed your story

Dont get me wrong, I'd also like to read the next part of the story

haha who gives a **** if this is fake or not
good story bro

ban for being fake imo

+1 but i cant imagine this being real, too much action for real life

Story confirmed not real.

looooool busteeeeed

hahahahaha

I can't fap to this!

**** JUST GOT REAL HAHAHAHAHA

2nd part sucks.

who attacks you with an umbrella for not flushing?

that didn't make any sense