Ok, first things first, we've all heard of 'piss bottles' and what not. Truth be told I had a prop bet for volume/profit in MTTs.
Needless to say, I had diarrhea problems that weekend after stupidly doing a hot food eating contest the previous day.
I wasn't intending to use it but I had a '****' bucket next to me in the case of a 'disaster'.
Well that disaster happened.
I was on a final table of a $5 rebuy ($980) up top.
Had AK utg +1. UTG raised, at this point I REALLY needed to go to the toilet, I was in agony.
I was gonna fold but for some reason I clicked it back. (3 bet)
I flopped a flush draw, decided to time bank and try and **** in the bucket the same time as playing.
It came out like hell. Felt like lava coming out my ass, **** burnt. I ended up timing out and addressing this situation.
It was that bad I didn't give a fk bout the poker.
Now this is the bad part - brace yourselfes.
I somewhat finish going, and start wiping with some old homework paper
I had no toilet roll.
My mum shouts up... "..........Lisa's here"
I'm like, HUH, does she know I'm ****ting and playing a prank?
Well no joke, my ex-girlfriend I hadn't seen in 2 months decided to 'surprise' me.
Before I had time to say NO, she came through the door. I stumbled, tripped over the bucket, **** spelt everywhere, and I was lying in it.
(Covered my legs)
I couldn't explain the look on her face if I tried.
I'm gonna leave the story at that and may do a part 2 as I didn't want this to get too long winded.
It was just so bad.