Ok, first things first, we've all heard of 'piss bottles' and what not. Truth be told I had a prop bet for volume/profit in MTTs.

Needless to say, I had diarrhea problems that weekend after stupidly doing a hot food eating contest the previous day.

I wasn't intending to use it but I had a '****' bucket next to me in the case of a 'disaster'.

Well that disaster happened.

I was on a final table of a $5 rebuy ($980) up top.

Had AK utg +1. UTG raised, at this point I REALLY needed to go to the toilet, I was in agony.

I was gonna fold but for some reason I clicked it back. (3 bet)

I flopped a flush draw, decided to time bank and try and **** in the bucket the same time as playing.

It came out like hell. Felt like lava coming out my ass, **** burnt. I ended up timing out and addressing this situation.

It was that bad I didn't give a fk bout the poker.

Now this is the bad part - brace yourselfes.


I somewhat finish going, and start wiping with some old homework paper I had no toilet roll.

My mum shouts up... "..........Lisa's here"

I'm like, HUH, does she know I'm ****ting and playing a prank?

Well no joke, my ex-girlfriend I hadn't seen in 2 months decided to 'surprise' me.

Before I had time to say NO, she came through the door. I stumbled, tripped over the bucket, **** spelt everywhere, and I was lying in it.

(Covered my legs)

I couldn't explain the look on her face if I tried.

I'm gonna leave the story at that and may do a part 2 as I didn't want this to get too long winded.


It was just so bad.

too many words

lol finally a good ****ing post

POTY

nice job

LOL please let this be real. Still entertaining.

PART 2!!!!

OP what you need is a good blowjon.

epic, if true POTY candiate

I would like to see a picture of this, or otherwise politely please you to leave.

I hope you asked her to give you a lumpkin.

+1

why did i guess your joining date that quickly....

moar??

Ok read it. That **** is funny as **** lol

Seems legit.

**** just got real

part 2?

wow amazing post moar ffs

amazing

what a ****ty story

id like to hear part two

Pure gold

seems fake but im no expert, brother

Rubbish story, bro.

It's not all bad to play on a laptop...

Not only is this story funny, it also stimulates bowel movement. And as you all know a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about. So 5*.

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