Omaha is a goldmine, but at the same time it will make you want to throw your computer across the room.

After sitting down at a table, I lose a bunch of chips in spots that I know I probably shouldn't, but it wasn't too bad. I'm down like 2 buy-ins. Then I decide to focus more and start playing good. I rack up quite a bit of chips well above what I lost. Omaha is actually quite a forgiving game. You don't need to play extremely well to win all the time like in hold'em. People kind of just throw their money around and if you're patient, you win.

Suddenly a character who we shall go by the name Monkey, arrives at the table. The player is definitely not an actual monkey, but I imagine a monkey-like person for some reason. Monkey is the reason for this thread. Monkey is the reason I was tempted to throw my computer against the wall.

Throughout the session, Monkey has made some bad call downs and lost money. Monkey also can't let go of his hand easily once he bets. This situation reminds me of a common trap made by monkey trappers. The trapper places a peanut inside a coconut that has a hole sliced through the top of the coconut. The coconut is attached to something that doesn't move. The trapper then watches from a distance and waits for a monkey to take the bait. Soon enough a monkey comes around and reaches into the coconut and grabs the peanut. The fist formation that the monkey makes, when grabbing the peanut, makes it so the monkey can not remove his hand from the coconut. If the monkey would simply let go of the peanut, he would be free. The monkey, however, does not think to do this and is eventually captured.

Now onto the hands which take place at a Omaha Hi table with $0.25/$0.10 blinds.


Hand 1:

I'm dealt 4343 in the SB. I have a massive $148.86 stack.
CO folds
Monkey on the button opens for $0.85 with $24.54
I call (Okay, I know a bunch of 2+2ers are gonna ***** about me not folding or whatever. Sorry guys, but it isn't happening. I will play my 4433ss, because I want to.)
BB call

Flop($2.41) 26 5
I check (I'm setting the peanut in the coconut)
BB checks
Monkey bets $2.41 (The monkey takes the bait)
I raise to $9.64 (Monkey can't resist it )
BB folds
Monkey calls (Monkey won't release the peanut)

Turn($20.62) 2 6 5 8
I push all-in
Monkey calls for the rest of his $14.05 stack. (Monkey refuses to let go)
Monkey flips over 9JJ8 with 4 outs.

River($47.93) 26 5 8 7
Monkey scoops pot. (Monkey luckily breaks free from the coconut)
Damn it Monkey!


Hand 2:

I hold 6996 in the BB with $120.63
HJ opens for $0.64
Monkey calls
BU calls
SB calls
I call

Flop($3.03) 9 7 3
SB checks
I check (Yeah, ***** about me checking top set all you want 2+2ers. I'm setting another coconut.)
HJ bets $2.27
Monkey, BU, and SB fold
I call (Whine all you want 2+2ers, but I'd rather take the chance to get 2 streets of air or the chance of improvement to a weaker hand. Even if I risk my opponent getting a str8. Also, lol, balance.)

Turn($7.31) 9 7 3 7
I check
HJ bets $7.31
I pop it to $21.50
HJ calls

River($48.74) 9 7 3 7 J
I push all-in making it $26.01 more for him to call
HJ tanks. (If HJ is slowrolling me with quad 7s I'm gonna **** my pants.)
HJ calls and shows 7853.

Phew, what a relief. Maybe I won't chuck my computer across the room after all. Also, surprisingly, it was a human who stuck their hand in the coconut and not Monkey. Life is quite a mystery sometimes.


Hand 3:
I have a $167.37 stack! Yes! Monkey has a $43.85 stack. I hold 6AA5
HJ limps
I limp (I'm setting another trap for Monkey, because he can't help himself from betting his button. If I lead, he'll only call.)
Monkey bets $1.35
SB calls
BB calls
HJ calls
I raise to $8.10
Monkey calls (He knows he should fold, but when a monkey reaches into the coconut to grab the peanut. He can't bring himself to let go.)
SB and BB fold
HJ calls

Flop($25.50) 8 4 7
HJ bets the rest of his stack for $3.22
I call (Why raise and let monkey fold when I can call and let him spaz with everything?)
Monkey goes all-in with $35.75
I call

Monkey is officially trapped. What is Monkey thinking? Only Monkey will know. Well actually I do know. Monkey just can't help himself. It is instinctive that he holds onto the peanut. I've won... Wait a second though. He flips over 778J. Okay, not a bad hand for that flop. I'll give Monkey that. He still isn't in good shape though.

Turn and River($99.72) 8 4 7 6 6

Monkey manages to shift into the 4th dimension and pull his fist out of the coconut. The trap failed. The monkey miraculously escapes. Worst of all, he takes the peanut with him.

After this, I considered throwing my computer against the wall. I gave this a second thought and decided not to. Instead I left the table and allowed Monkey to be free to roam the jungle which he will certainly get devoured by another vicious animal.

Zzzzzzz Did not read a single word.

(yawn) did not give a ****.

why would you type this many words?

Why do you have 4 cards?

wow, you are very bad at plo.

So you play horribly, and then get upset when you lose.

Congrats on being mentally deficient and bragging about it

solid play by monkey.

owned OP

OP how does this loss affect your taxes?

Another hand at Omaha Hi. Blinds were $0.25/$0.10. Today was a very lucky day.

I held K J 7J in the BB with a $123.69 stack.
HJ opens to $0.85.
CO and BU fold
SB calls
I call

Flop($2.41) T T J
SB bets $2.41
I call
HJ folds
Me:

Turn($6.97) T T J T
SB checks
I check
Me:

River($6.97) T T J T J
SB checks
I bet $6.97
SB shoves all-in for $26.94
I call
SB shows T Q 4 A
Me:

What a good night at the Omaha tables. Very lucky night indeed.

how much did you win after taxes?

OP you don't need to start a new thread for every Omaha hand you played, just put it in this one...

It's a raccoon trap.
"Where the Red Fern Grows"
Read that instead of OP

Okay, it will be one grand Omaha adventure!


To all the haters out there:

"Haters gonna hate, and ainters gonna aint." - wise person

"Haters gonna hate, and goners ain't gonna." - wiser person