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Old 07-14-2012, 06:03 AM   #1
Verbal_Gym
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My WSOP Trip Report

A true story.

"How much do you have behind?"

I remain silent but lean back from the table. His eyes ruthlessly scan the towers of chips.

"About three fiddy?" He jokes.

To laugh would give away my hand strength. I didn't find the joke funny anyway. Boorish American. It had been a grueling week and my patience was at an end. The series had not went as planned and this was my last shot. The big one. The one every poker player dreams of. The Main Event. I needed this more than anyone.

The table falls silent as the incompetent dealer burns a card. Fate in his cold lifeless robotic hands.

'No pair! No pair! No pair!' i chant to myself. Hoping to sway the poker gods.

The ten of hearts gloriously flips onto the felt. Hallelujah. I'm already snorting coke off hooker's tits and deciding which of my backers I'm gonna stiff, but you wouldn't know it to look at me. I slide my shades back up my nose and compose myself. This is my time to shine.

Even Teddy KGB would have been proud of the performance that followed. An acting masterclass. I huff and i puff. Head in hands. Wipe sweat from my brow. The whole arsenal. All whilst eating sixteen Oreo cookies.

A minute and a half later i hit him with the killer blow.

"If you've got me you've got me" i sigh. "I'm all-in".

The poor fool doesn't know it yet but if he calls it's gonna be all over. For him anyway. I'm like Robert Varkonyi, devilishly handsome, brushing aside all in my path. My foe - an also-ran. A Ralph Perry. 'On your bike' i think to myself.

My victim announces "Call". A tear of joy rolls down my cheek.

I stand up and slam my cards down face up for all to see. The nuts, the stone cold nuts. How do you like them apples?

I don't remember much after that. Time seemed to slow down. The last thing i heard as the lights faded out - the big boned scooter oaf in seat 6, who had been trying to sell me solar phone chargers all day...

"Ya only got a puuurrr son".

I counted the cards in my head as it fast approached the Rio floor.

2-3-5-6-10.

I had a 4 in my hand though didn't i? Didn't i? I was sure of it.

My head smashed into the floor. I was out cold. I was out the Main Event.

I woke up in a hotel room. Dazed and confused. The curtains were pulled shut. Only the glow of the TV gave any hints as to my whereabouts. Clothes were scattered over the chair and floor. I couldn't make out if they were mine. A bottle of wine sat empty on the bedside table.

The sound of running water. The bathroom door shut.

I wheeze. A barely audible "Hello?".

The tap stops running.

The bathroom door swings open. My pupils shrink in the the harsh light. A silhouetted figure stands in the doorway, like something from 'Close Encounters of the Third Kind'. I think its a woman, but i can't be sure.

"Where am i?" I ask hesitantly. "Whats going on?".

"it's ok. You're safe with me" the voice replies.

As the figure trudges closer i begin to notice facial features. Round face. Shoulder length ginger hair. Full figure. It can't be. Can it?

She slides up onto the bed next to me. The WSOP bracelet on her wrist confirms my worst fears. Kathy Liebert.

I thought she was dead.

She makes an advance. I try to pull away. Only then does it dawn on me. I'm unable to move. Restrained. Handcuffed to the bed. She ties a scarf tight round my mouth before i have the chance to scream...

Last edited by Verbal_Gym; 07-14-2012 at 06:11 AM.
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:05 AM   #2
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

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Old 07-14-2012, 06:06 AM   #3
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

good start
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:09 AM   #4
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tryst_ View Post
this
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:39 AM   #5
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

I cried when i googled kathy liebert.

beats, brags and creative writing continues
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Old 07-14-2012, 07:21 AM   #6
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

no pics = didnot happen kapeesh?
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Old 07-14-2012, 07:28 AM   #7
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

funny
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Old 07-14-2012, 08:54 AM   #8
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

lol moar
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Old 07-14-2012, 10:05 AM   #9
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

A Cool Story.
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:41 AM   #10
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Quote:
Originally Posted by LOL POT-ODDS View Post
A Cool Story.
1.8k posts not one over 3 sentances, i bet someone could make a posting ai bot that could be more entertaining and less predictable than you
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Old 07-14-2012, 11:53 AM   #11
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

bookmarked.
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Old 07-14-2012, 12:08 PM   #12
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

I read this bit - "I woke up in a hotel room. Dazed and confused"

Spoiler:
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Old 07-14-2012, 12:41 PM   #13
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

B+ effort. Thanks for posting. Better than 90% of the spew in here.
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Old 07-14-2012, 05:03 PM   #14
Verbal_Gym
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

I awaken to feel the sun beating down on me. I rub my raw eyes, trying to get my bearings. It's muddy. there's shrubbery and palm trees surrounding me. I look down. I'm completely naked. ****.

My mind races. What happened last night? Did i black out again? Did i dream it all? How did i end up here?

All these questions would have to be answered later. I had more pressing issues. I needed some clothes.

I step out from the foliage, tentatively casing the area for witnesses. The pyramid of the Luxor stands tall. Not good news. It's gonna be a long trek back to the Rio. I try to stay calm. Composed. How am i gonna tackle this unfortunate situation? where can i get some clothes?

Then i see them.

Walking along the strip. Batman and Buzz ****ing Lightyear. I'd passed these guys endlessly on the strip. Never had i been so happy to see them. Usually there would have been no amount you could have paid me to dress up like these clowns. But today, it was just what i needed.

The strip looked deserted. Must have been early morning. A few cars and even fewer pedestrians. Apart from my targets.

I race out onto the strip in hot pursuit.

I had to take my moment. My penis flapped in the wind but i didn't care. They were only a hundred yards away. I was gaining fast. A cheetah locked onto his prey.

They didn't hear me coming. I grab Batman in a running headlock and slam him into the sidewalk. Buzz Lightyear is stunned. I sweep his leg legs out from under him. He lies flat out on the pavement. An elbow drop. He's finished.

I turn to see Batman slowly clambering to his feet. He groans one last time before my bare foot crunches into his jaw, sending him back to the floor.

These guys don't even deserve to wear these costumes i tell myself, standing victorious. Amateurs. From now on, I'm gonna be Buzz Lightyear.

I enter the Rio sometime later. A panting dehydrated Buzz Lightyear. I need to find my room. No wallet. No keys and no I.D. I'm screwed. I figure reception will be my best bet. I wade through the crowds looking for a willing receptionist. A young attractive blonde is just finishing with a customer.

I rush forward, in my haste, accidentally knocking into a lady. In my frazzled state i didn't even see her.

"Sorry" I half-heartedly apologise.

"Watch where you're going for christsake!" The woman yells.

I stop dead in my tracks. I know that voice. I spin round to see Liebert shuffling towards the elevators. Of course, she didn't recognize me in the Buzz outfit! But would she recognize me anyway? I was still unsure on the events of last night. My head was all over the place. It seemed so crazy. Could i have imagined the whole thing? I needed to know the truth, and there's only one way to find out.

In the elevator. The doors slowly slide shut...then spring back open again. A White gloved hand extends out. Buzz Lightyear steps into the elevator. His wings barely fit. Liebert takes an accidental nudge in the face. She mutters something angrily under her breath.

The elevator stops on the 10th floor. Liebert slimes her way out. I wait a few seconds before following in my Buzz Lightyear get-up. Don't want to arouse suspicion.

I hang back at the end of the hall as Kathy vanishes into a nearby room. Time to get some answers.

In the room. Kathy is busy checking her phone when a knock on the door breaks her concentration.

"who is it?"

"Room service"

"i didn't order room service. Go away" she snaps.

Another knock.

She flings the phone on the bed and stomps for the door.

"I DIDN'T ORDER ANY ROOM SERVICE!" She screams yanking the door open.

She's greeted by the fist of Buzz Lightyear. My gloved fist.

"To infinity and beyond, *****!"

She's knocked out cold.

I drag her body inside and lock the door.

Last edited by Verbal_Gym; 07-14-2012 at 05:30 PM.
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:17 PM   #15
Tryst_
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Quote:
Originally Posted by Verbal_Gym View Post
I awaken to feel the sun beating down on me. I rub my raw eyes, trying to get my bearings. It's muddy. there's shrubbery and palm trees surrounding me. I look down. I'm completely naked. ****.

My mind races. What happened last night? Did i black out again? Did i dream it all? How did i end up here?

All these questions would have to be answered later. I had more pressing issues. I needed some clothes.

I step out from the foliage, tentatively casing the area for witnesses. The pyramid of the Luxor stands tall. Not good news. It's gonna be a long trek back to the Rio. I try to stay calm. Composed. How am i gonna tackle this unfortunate situation? where can i get some clothes?

Then i see them.

Walking along the strip. Batman and Buzz ****ing Lightyear. I'd passed these guys endlessly on the strip. Never had i been so happy to see them. Usually there would have been no amount you could have paid me to dress up like these clowns. But today, it was just what i needed.

The strip looked deserted. Must have been early morning. A few cars and even fewer pedestrians. Apart from my targets.

I race out onto the strip in hot pursuit.

I had to take my moment. My penis flapped in the wind but i didn't care. They were only a hundred yards away. I was gaining fast. A cheetah locked onto his prey.

They didn't hear me coming. I grab Batman in a running headlock and slam him into the sidewalk. Buzz Lightyear is stunned. I sweep his leg legs out from under him. He lies flat out on the pavement. An elbow drop. He's finished.

I turn to see Batman slowly clambering to his feet. He groans one last time before my bare foot crunches into his jaw, sending him back to the floor.

These guys don't even deserve to wear these costumes i tell myself, standing victorious. Amateurs. From now on, I'm gonna be Buzz Lightyear.

I enter the Rio sometime later. A panting dehydrated Buzz Lightyear. I need to find my room. No wallet. No keys and no I.D. I'm screwed. I figure reception will be my best bet. I wade through the crowds looking for a willing receptionist. A young attractive blonde is just finishing with a customer.

I rush forward, in my haste, accidentally knocking into a lady. In my frazzled state i didn't even see her.

"Sorry" I half-heartedly apologise.

"Watch where you're going for christsake!" The woman yells.

I stop dead in my tracks. I know that voice. I spin round to see Liebert shuffling towards the elevators. Of course, she didn't recognize me in the Buzz outfit! But would she recognize me anyway? I was still unsure on the events of last night. My head was all over the place. It seemed so crazy. Could i have imagined the whole thing? I needed to know the truth, and there's only one way to find out.

In the elevator. The doors slowly slide shut...then spring back open again. A White gloved hand extends out. Buzz Lightyear steps into the elevator. His wings barely fit. Liebert takes an accidental nudge in the face. She mutters something angrily under her breath.

The elevator stops on the 10th floor. Liebert slimes her way out. I wait a few seconds before following in my Buzz Lightyear get-up. Don't want to arouse suspicion.

I hang back at the end of the hall as Kathy vanishes into a nearby room. Time to get some answers.

In the room. Kathy is busy checking her phone when a knock on the door breaks her concentration.

"who is it?"

"Room service"

"i didn't order room service. Go away" she snaps.

Another knock.

She flings the phone on the bed and stomps for the door.

"I DIDN'T ORDER ANY ROOM SERVICE!" She screams yanking the door open.

She's greeted by the fist of Buzz Lightyear. My gloved fist.

"To infinity and beyond, *****!"

She's knocked out cold.

I drag her body inside and lock the door.

Last edited by Tryst_; 07-14-2012 at 06:18 PM. Reason: d.r
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:47 PM   #16
Rok2p2
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

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Old 07-14-2012, 06:52 PM   #17
RU 18 B4 I FU
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Quote:
Originally Posted by Verbal_Gym View Post
I awaken to feel the sun beating down on me. I rub my raw eyes, trying to get my bearings. It's muddy. there's shrubbery and palm trees surrounding me. I look down. I'm completely naked. ****.

My mind races. What happened last night? Did i black out again? Did i dream it all? How did i end up here?

All these questions would have to be answered later. I had more pressing issues. I needed some clothes.

I step out from the foliage, tentatively casing the area for witnesses. The pyramid of the Luxor stands tall. Not good news. It's gonna be a long trek back to the Rio. I try to stay calm. Composed. How am i gonna tackle this unfortunate situation? where can i get some clothes?

Then i see them.

Walking along the strip. Batman and Buzz ****ing Lightyear. I'd passed these guys endlessly on the strip. Never had i been so happy to see them. Usually there would have been no amount you could have paid me to dress up like these clowns. But today, it was just what i needed.

The strip looked deserted. Must have been early morning. A few cars and even fewer pedestrians. Apart from my targets.

I race out onto the strip in hot pursuit.

I had to take my moment. My penis flapped in the wind but i didn't care. They were only a hundred yards away. I was gaining fast. A cheetah locked onto his prey.

They didn't hear me coming. I grab Batman in a running headlock and slam him into the sidewalk. Buzz Lightyear is stunned. I sweep his leg legs out from under him. He lies flat out on the pavement. An elbow drop. He's finished.

I turn to see Batman slowly clambering to his feet. He groans one last time before my bare foot crunches into his jaw, sending him back to the floor.

These guys don't even deserve to wear these costumes i tell myself, standing victorious. Amateurs. From now on, I'm gonna be Buzz Lightyear.

I enter the Rio sometime later. A panting dehydrated Buzz Lightyear. I need to find my room. No wallet. No keys and no I.D. I'm screwed. I figure reception will be my best bet. I wade through the crowds looking for a willing receptionist. A young attractive blonde is just finishing with a customer.

I rush forward, in my haste, accidentally knocking into a lady. In my frazzled state i didn't even see her.

"Sorry" I half-heartedly apologise.

"Watch where you're going for christsake!" The woman yells.

I stop dead in my tracks. I know that voice. I spin round to see Liebert shuffling towards the elevators. Of course, she didn't recognize me in the Buzz outfit! But would she recognize me anyway? I was still unsure on the events of last night. My head was all over the place. It seemed so crazy. Could i have imagined the whole thing? I needed to know the truth, and there's only one way to find out.

In the elevator. The doors slowly slide shut...then spring back open again. A White gloved hand extends out. Buzz Lightyear steps into the elevator. His wings barely fit. Liebert takes an accidental nudge in the face. She mutters something angrily under her breath.

The elevator stops on the 10th floor. Liebert slimes her way out. I wait a few seconds before following in my Buzz Lightyear get-up. Don't want to arouse suspicion.

I hang back at the end of the hall as Kathy vanishes into a nearby room. Time to get some answers.

In the room. Kathy is busy checking her phone when a knock on the door breaks her concentration.

"who is it?"

"Room service"

"i didn't order room service. Go away" she snaps.

Another knock.

She flings the phone on the bed and stomps for the door.

"I DIDN'T ORDER ANY ROOM SERVICE!" She screams yanking the door open.

She's greeted by the fist of Buzz Lightyear. My gloved fist.

"To infinity and beyond, *****!"

She's knocked out cold.

I drag her body inside and lock the door.
Quote:
My penis flapped in the wind but i didn't care
You may need some help - Just saying........
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Old 07-14-2012, 07:10 PM   #18
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Subscribed
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Old 07-14-2012, 08:25 PM   #19
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To infinity and beyond

Amused. Pls continue. No scrotum pics pls
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Old 07-15-2012, 03:05 AM   #20
Verbal_Gym
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

"Just tell me the truth and it will all be over"

"I am telling you the truth. You're ****ing crazy" she spits through blood stained teeth.

"I remember being in this room. I remember it all."

I was lying.

I couldn't even be sure it was the same room. The cleaners had been round. It looked just like any other Rio room.

The longer this went on the more i doubted myself.

"If you let me go now i won't tell anyone about this. I promise. You must have the wrong person."

I thought about her plea. Could i really risk letting her go now? I felt like i was in too deep. I didn't even wanna think about how this was gonna end.

I collapsed into the chair, exhausted.

Kathy remained silent. Crudely tied to the bed with rolled up bedsheets.

I was too tired to notice the cellphone she had thrown onto the bed earlier.

I put my head in my hands. Hoping all this would go away.

She slowly edged the cellphone within reach of her left hand. Keeping it hidden. Obscured by the bedsheets.

Kathy seized her moment and thumbed a number into the phone.

My eyes were closed, trying to recall the events of the previous day.

I had done a **** load of drugs the day of the main event. Well, more the night before. It was all a blur.

How did i get from the Rio floor to the hotel room?

If i had been tied up, held hostage by Kathy Liebert, then how did i escape? How did i end up at the Luxor?

If i had looked up at this point i would have seen the cellphone. I would have read the screen... "DIALING AD..."

I was too deep in thought. Someone must have seen me last night. Someone must have known what happened after i blacked out on the Rio floor. I needed to find someone who had been at my table that day. They must have seen who took me.

One face immediately jumped out at me. How could i forget the fool who had been trying to hustle the table all day. He didn't seem to play a hand but he sure loved to talk. I remember turning the volume up on my Ipod so i didn't have to listen to his sales pitch for the hundredth time. What was his name again? The Iceman? That's it.

I needed to find the Iceman.

I tie a pillow case round Kathy's mouth.

"I'm sorry but i can't let you go yet."

I grab some money from her purse.

"...and i need to borrow a few dollars."

I squeeze the Buzz Lightyear head back on. The outfit is becoming uncomfortable. I can't think about that right now though.

I quickly exit. Next stop. The Amazon Room.

Last edited by Verbal_Gym; 07-15-2012 at 03:11 AM.
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Old 07-15-2012, 03:13 AM   #21
omnishakira
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Quote:
Originally Posted by bad jaws horn View Post
1.8k posts not one over 3 sentances, i bet someone could make a posting ai bot that could be more entertaining and less predictable than you
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Old 07-15-2012, 03:52 AM   #22
TooCuriousso1
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

i read a bit of it. dont make the same mistake i did
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Old 07-15-2012, 04:55 AM   #23
mas17
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

5 stars!
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Old 07-15-2012, 11:39 AM   #24
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

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5 stars!
this.
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Old 07-15-2012, 12:01 PM   #25
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Re: My WSOP Trip Report

Getting better.....unfortunately the probability of a fresh prince roll is dizzyingly high.
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