Originally Posted by lolustd
DON"T PLAY HERE - IT IS RIGGED
So, I am buzzing, and tired after a marathon stint at the local B&M - up big after this hand:
Plying 25/50nl. The table is as tight as a frog's arse, and to be honest I'm probably the only that cannot ninja-count partial outsand reverse implied odds. The action is as follows: down and out guy limps in EP (looks broke, keeps asking everyone if they play on Doyle's room) Canadian Tourney Hotshot, WON"T STOP POSTING ON SOME MESSAGE BOARD BETWEEN HANDS limps, big fat guy with man-breasts same, and someone that smells vaguely of olive-oil (nice guy, possibly a bit emo?) does too. Some black women who bought in with a crumpled $20 limps and we have 5 limpers WTF?? I overlimp in the co with T 7 (I was planning to raise but dude next to me is talking about Swedish chicks and rim-jobs and I am half turned on, half grossed out). So I am seeing a flop semi-aroused with 5 playas - all dragons .
The pot is already huge. Flop come on 8 5 6 giving me what I think is a straight. Bust guy and black women are allin for their crappy stacks, Olive Oil dude starts to bet, then breaks down and folds, shouting "YOU HAD TO PICK ON ME,DIDN'T YOU".
Manbreasts folds, and snorting "weaksauce" like he he had AA or something, and action is on CTH.
Well, he was clever and all, but a simple all-in instead of the witty, biting yet somehow endearing soliloquy would have been quicker. Table loved it though. They are all, like, it's so cool you are back, dude, and stuff.
Busto guy keeps saying LOLAMENTS or something,and everyone laughs, but also seem a bit bored with it. I call
On the turn I have no idea what to do, since its a live game and all.... the turn card howerver IS a 9 . YAHTZEE. CTH and I PUSHH, (the pot had about 10k at this point, and at least one was likely slowplaying ak or even AA). Then after that, a pimply, grimm looking dude shows a pair of jacks and wants to call my allin too. I am like WTF, FLOOR?? He wasn't even in the hand????
Floor is called, and confirms that a local rule allows you to see the turn, THEN post a blind if you have JJ Apparently its a "reverse Grimmstarr". I move allin after careful consideration that I do infact have the nuts, then some ppl folds and river is a card that I dont remember and I ship this huge pot and everyone rushes off saying LOL massivepotbadbeatmustpostonBBVaments" and I'm like "um ship me the monie"
anyhoo, I am on the way home driving through Hamilton and I see lights, cars and **** and I figure its a party and I can be a balla with my 35k roll and pound some beers, maybe pick up a skanky ho or 2. Some dudes MOM is working the door and asks if I am here for the game? I have done like 43 grams of coke at this stage, so I say sssshure, thinking it is some sort of kinky hook-up scene (she is kinda MILFY)
Turns out, this is the legendary TwoRooks home game, and I am loaded for bear. So I put my roll on the table, and Dad is called, as they seem unnaccustomed to these stakes. Tworooks sistersays she doesn't want to deal that big a game, and also she has a macrame class in an hour (this is 10.00 am Sunday).
He gets on the phone to his friend in rotary, and 20 mins later, a dealer arrrives from Towson. I buy in for the Max, 1k, and then this happens
I open with KQ for $200 and my opponent, Walter, calls. The flop is Q73 and I lead for $400, he makes it $10,000, and I push. We did this a couple orbits back and he folded. The board was KK8 (I had KQ there too. It seems I only ever get dealt KQ) and he showed an 8 when he folded.
Anyway, he calls, and the turn came an ace and the river came a flush and MHWG. The very next hand he raised to $200 in the SB, I called in the BB 5d4d. The flop was 268 with two diamonds and he check raised my $400 bet to $1000 and I put him in for all his moneys. He thought for a while before calling, the turn was a 10 and the river was a 7 and I had just ran $2200 into $11000 in two hands.
I snap off a few bluffs, take a shortstack player out and get paid off and run it into $43,000. I tip the dealer 2k
It is now 1.20 AM monday, and I wanna play some dice - plus my parole officer says I gotta be be home by 3.am, so I take my mobneys up to the cage (well, the TwoRooks goes to wake his mom) and she just says that if I give her my Party name and stuff, she will send the mobneys tomorrow.
Sucks man - hope she sends it, right?