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05-05-2007 , 12:25 AM
lol @ tworooks what a living joke.
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05-05-2007 , 12:34 AM
I forgot about this post. Good bump.
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05-05-2007 , 01:21 AM
It is nice to see this thread get bumped every now and then. Most of the time I hate dumb bumps but this is the exception. This is one of the first post I ever read in 2+2 and it will always hold a special place in my heart.
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05-05-2007 , 01:23 AM
Another thread made great by our friend TwoRooks

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showthreaded.php?Cat=0&Number=3060753&page =0

Biggest crime you've ever committed?

Two Rooks:
Quote:

Counterfeit(sp?) money. I made $10 bills using the photoshop-microsoft word-print out on both sides-put in the dryer to make soft-technique.

Then I gave them to a couple kids in Spanish class. He tried to buy nachos at the school cafeteria and it originally passed, until the lunch supervisor or something caught the bill, and then the kid came and used another fake one the next day.

He rats me out. We only get suspended for 3 days, because if it was the standard 5 we would have missed finals. The kid I gave it to and his friend end up getting a misdemeanor charge and are on probation until their 18, for knowingly spending it. I get off with just the suspension.

Non TwoRooks person:

Quote:

you kill me, tworooks. was it at this point that you left the life of a big-time counterfeiter for good to open your illegal gaming parlor? Or did you have some other form of shady income in between? What's your latest moneymaking scheme since the caddying thing didn't work out?

Two Rooks:

Quote:

I quit counterfeiting when I realized people didn't think they were real bills when I tried to pass them along.

Now my desires are focused to starting a deli.

You can't make this stuff up.
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05-05-2007 , 01:44 AM
thank you for posting this
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05-15-2007 , 11:29 AM
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Since no one has yet posted a trip report, I thought I'd just go ahead and do it.


TRIP REPORT: TWO ROOKS' PLACE, San Diego

I was in San Diego for a business trip and since I had some downtime, I figured I try to find some action. I usually play 3/6 limit in AC, so I was looking for something along those lines. Luckily, I remembered that Two Rooks had a cardroom/casino going in SD, so I went over to check it out.

First off, what you heard about parking is WRONG: there is NO valet. I must have sat outside the house in my car for a good ten minutes before I realized the guy in the maroon sport coat was just Two Rooks' dad and that he WASN'T parking cars. My bad. Do NOT try and get Two Rooks' dad to park your car; it isn't going to happen.

The good news is I got a spot right around the corner in front of a split-level ranch. Seemed safe.

The casino itself is pretty small. One blackjack table (empty) and one hold-em table squeezed into a rec-room that's about 20 x 15. I was told that there is usually blackjack action, but that the regular dealer had a US Government final the next day and was at home cramming.

Luckily for me, though, I came to play poker and there were a couple empty seats at the table when I arrived.

First, of course, I went over to the cage for a rack. They were out of acrylic racks when I was there, so I got my chips in a 1 gallon zip-lock bag (which I was asked to return when I cashed out). The chips are a little grimy, but definitely in better shape than the ones at the Taj in AC.

I sat down in the 4 seat. It was the typical collection of casino players: a couple retirees playing their social security checks, one or two drunk tourists, two kids from the JV Baseball team, a squirrly chick with braces. The action was pretty loose/passive. The dealer wasn't great, but not terrible either. She had a couple misdeals and she mis-pushed the pot once when she didn't see the rivered flush. We also had about a 20 minute break while she took a cellphone call from her ex-boyfriend.

THERE IS NO TABLE SERVICE AT THIS CASINO. You need to get your own Coke/Diet Coke/Mr. Pibb from a large green cooler in the bathroom. The drinks ARE comped, though, which is nice. If you want an alcoholic drink, you have to go back upstairs and ask Two Rooks' mom for a 'real' glass and then you can have pretty much whatever they are offering that night. The night I was there, they had two options: Beefeater Gin or Amaretto. I had an Amaretto on the rocks. Tasty! (I'm 35, but I didn't get the sense that they were carding, just FYI). I also had a really good chat with Two Rooks' mom; she is definitely cool with the casino.

The one thing that was never mentioned in the thread: there is a poker rate! After 6 hours of play, I was eligible to sleep on the trundle bed in Two Rooks' sister's room (she's away at college in Nebraska). I didn't stay, but it's good to know in the future, especially if you don't feel like driving after a few Amarettos.

Only one stressful situation and it was around a hand. I had KK in MP and raised. It was folded around to the CO (one of the JV Baseball guys) who 3-bet. Folded back around to me and I call. Two players and the flop comes KQJ. I bet, he raises, I re-raise, he caps. Turn is a blank, I bet, he calls. The river is a T, so I'm now feeling a little nervous. I check. This guy looks at his cards and gives a little chuckle. I think he's going to flip them over, but he mucks them (no verbal declaration). Then he says "[censored], I meant to flip those" and reaches into the muck pile and pulls out an A. The dealer has no clue how to handle it, so they call the floor over. The floor is none other than Two Rooks himself! We go over the hand with him but he's not really sure how to call it. He decides that we should look it up online, so all of us -- the table, the dealer, TR -- go upstairs to his room to look it up online. His room is ok, pretty standard: some rock posters on the walls, about a week's worth of dirty clothes on the floor and a Pamela Anderson calendar from 2004. He does have a CRAZY collection of bobble-heads. We spend about 10 minutes Googling "Floor Calls" "Mucked Hands" etc. and finally he makes a call and tells the JV kid that he's sorry, but without the verbal declaration, his hand is mucked. We go back downstairs and TR then pushes the pot to me. The JV kid kinda freaks out, but TR calms him down and tells him he can take a 6-pack of Mr. Pibb. The two JV kids leave and the table basically breaks up. I was up about $80 (roughly 2bb/hr).

I spent about an hour just kind of chilling with Two Rooks and his folks after that (there was some left over pizza in the fridge from the 200+40 tourney they ran the previous weekend).

All in all, a good experience.
This post is a must read.
one of the funniest things i have ever read here A++++++
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05-15-2007 , 11:50 AM
haha good bump
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05-27-2007 , 08:29 PM
Thanks dear ninjabumper
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05-27-2007 , 08:36 PM
this thread has potential
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05-28-2007 , 02:27 PM
Finding this thread is like winning the lottery
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06-10-2007 , 11:12 AM
Quote:
Since no one has yet posted a trip report, I thought I'd just go ahead and do it.


TRIP REPORT: TWO ROOKS' PLACE, San Diego

I was in San Diego for a business trip and since I had some downtime, I figured I try to find some action. I usually play 3/6 limit in AC, so I was looking for something along those lines. Luckily, I remembered that Two Rooks had a cardroom/casino going in SD, so I went over to check it out.

First off, what you heard about parking is WRONG: there is NO valet. I must have sat outside the house in my car for a good ten minutes before I realized the guy in the maroon sport coat was just Two Rooks' dad and that he WASN'T parking cars. My bad. Do NOT try and get Two Rooks' dad to park your car; it isn't going to happen.

The good news is I got a spot right around the corner in front of a split-level ranch. Seemed safe.

The casino itself is pretty small. One blackjack table (empty) and one hold-em table squeezed into a rec-room that's about 20 x 15. I was told that there is usually blackjack action, but that the regular dealer had a US Government final the next day and was at home cramming.

Luckily for me, though, I came to play poker and there were a couple empty seats at the table when I arrived.

First, of course, I went over to the cage for a rack. They were out of acrylic racks when I was there, so I got my chips in a 1 gallon zip-lock bag (which I was asked to return when I cashed out). The chips are a little grimy, but definitely in better shape than the ones at the Taj in AC.

I sat down in the 4 seat. It was the typical collection of casino players: a couple retirees playing their social security checks, one or two drunk tourists, two kids from the JV Baseball team, a squirrly chick with braces. The action was pretty loose/passive. The dealer wasn't great, but not terrible either. She had a couple misdeals and she mis-pushed the pot once when she didn't see the rivered flush. We also had about a 20 minute break while she took a cellphone call from her ex-boyfriend.

THERE IS NO TABLE SERVICE AT THIS CASINO. You need to get your own Coke/Diet Coke/Mr. Pibb from a large green cooler in the bathroom. The drinks ARE comped, though, which is nice. If you want an alcoholic drink, you have to go back upstairs and ask Two Rooks' mom for a 'real' glass and then you can have pretty much whatever they are offering that night. The night I was there, they had two options: Beefeater Gin or Amaretto. I had an Amaretto on the rocks. Tasty! (I'm 35, but I didn't get the sense that they were carding, just FYI). I also had a really good chat with Two Rooks' mom; she is definitely cool with the casino.

The one thing that was never mentioned in the thread: there is a poker rate! After 6 hours of play, I was eligible to sleep on the trundle bed in Two Rooks' sister's room (she's away at college in Nebraska). I didn't stay, but it's good to know in the future, especially if you don't feel like driving after a few Amarettos.

Only one stressful situation and it was around a hand. I had KK in MP and raised. It was folded around to the CO (one of the JV Baseball guys) who 3-bet. Folded back around to me and I call. Two players and the flop comes KQJ. I bet, he raises, I re-raise, he caps. Turn is a blank, I bet, he calls. The river is a T, so I'm now feeling a little nervous. I check. This guy looks at his cards and gives a little chuckle. I think he's going to flip them over, but he mucks them (no verbal declaration). Then he says "[censored], I meant to flip those" and reaches into the muck pile and pulls out an A. The dealer has no clue how to handle it, so they call the floor over. The floor is none other than Two Rooks himself! We go over the hand with him but he's not really sure how to call it. He decides that we should look it up online, so all of us -- the table, the dealer, TR -- go upstairs to his room to look it up online. His room is ok, pretty standard: some rock posters on the walls, about a week's worth of dirty clothes on the floor and a Pamela Anderson calendar from 2004. He does have a CRAZY collection of bobble-heads. We spend about 10 minutes Googling "Floor Calls" "Mucked Hands" etc. and finally he makes a call and tells the JV kid that he's sorry, but without the verbal declaration, his hand is mucked. We go back downstairs and TR then pushes the pot to me. The JV kid kinda freaks out, but TR calms him down and tells him he can take a 6-pack of Mr. Pibb. The two JV kids leave and the table basically breaks up. I was up about $80 (roughly 2bb/hr).

I spent about an hour just kind of chilling with Two Rooks and his folks after that (there was some left over pizza in the fridge from the 200+40 tourney they ran the previous weekend).

All in all, a good experience.
This TR is a great read.
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06-12-2007 , 02:41 AM
*GRUNCH*

I think this is a bad idea tworooks
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06-14-2007 , 04:17 PM
thsi cant possibly be allowed on this site
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06-14-2007 , 05:00 PM
Quote:
Awesome!
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06-23-2007 , 02:22 PM
i wonder who bought all this crap.
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06-26-2007 , 09:40 AM
This is a classic tale - no matter which country you are from. So glad I found it.
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06-26-2007 , 01:04 PM
bigggggggggggggggg
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06-30-2007 , 03:46 PM
The thing that makes this post great?

Every time it's bumped, 90% of the readers love it, 10% give new helpful advice.
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06-30-2007 , 05:05 PM
is this the most viewed thread ever?
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06-30-2007 , 05:14 PM
Quote:
is this the most viewed thread ever?
Not even close. The Shana Hiatt thread has over 1.8 million views.
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06-30-2007 , 05:40 PM
that's about the fifth time i've read it. pure gold.
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06-30-2007 , 05:44 PM
nap time OP
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07-25-2007 , 11:09 AM
are you banking, bro?
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07-25-2007 , 11:40 AM
bumped for greatness
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