I just wanted to have the 300th post in the all time best thread on 2+2

DON"T PLAY HERE - IT IS RIGGED

So, I am buzzing, and tired after a marathon stint at the local B&M - up big after this hand:

Plying 25/50nl. The table is as tight as a frog's arse, and to be honest I'm probably the only that cannot ninja-count partial outsand reverse implied odds. The action is as follows: down and out guy limps in EP (looks broke, keeps asking everyone if they play on Doyle's room) Canadian Tourney Hotshot, WON"T STOP POSTING ON SOME MESSAGE BOARD BETWEEN HANDS limps, big fat guy with man-breasts same, and someone that smells vaguely of olive-oil (nice guy, possibly a bit emo?) does too. Some black women who bought in with a crumpled $20 limps and we have 5 limpers WTF?? I overlimp in the co with T 7 (I was planning to raise but dude next to me is talking about Swedish chicks and rim-jobs and I am half turned on, half grossed out). So I am seeing a flop semi-aroused with 5 playas - all dragons .

The pot is already huge. Flop come on 8 5 6 giving me what I think is a straight. Bust guy and black women are allin for their crappy stacks, Olive Oil dude starts to bet, then breaks down and folds, shouting "YOU HAD TO PICK ON ME,DIDN'T YOU".
Manbreasts folds, and snorting "weaksauce" like he he had AA or something, and action is on CTH.
Well, he was clever and all, but a simple all-in instead of the witty, biting yet somehow endearing soliloquy would have been quicker. Table loved it though. They are all, like, it's so cool you are back, dude, and stuff.
Busto guy keeps saying LOLAMENTS or something,and everyone laughs, but also seem a bit bored with it. I call

On the turn I have no idea what to do, since its a live game and all.... the turn card howerver IS a 9 . YAHTZEE. CTH and I PUSHH, (the pot had about 10k at this point, and at least one was likely slowplaying ak or even AA). Then after that, a pimply, grimm looking dude shows a pair of jacks and wants to call my allin too. I am like WTF, FLOOR?? He wasn't even in the hand????

Floor is called, and confirms that a local rule allows you to see the turn, THEN post a blind if you have JJ Apparently its a "reverse Grimmstarr". I move allin after careful consideration that I do infact have the nuts, then some ppl folds and river is a card that I dont remember and I ship this huge pot and everyone rushes off saying LOL massivepotbadbeatmustpostonBBVaments" and I'm like "um ship me the monie"


anyhoo, I am on the way home driving through Hamilton and I see lights, cars and **** and I figure its a party and I can be a balla with my 35k roll and pound some beers, maybe pick up a skanky ho or 2. Some dudes MOM is working the door and asks if I am here for the game? I have done like 43 grams of coke at this stage, so I say sssshure, thinking it is some sort of kinky hook-up scene (she is kinda MILFY)

Turns out, this is the legendary TwoRooks home game, and I am loaded for bear. So I put my roll on the table, and Dad is called, as they seem unnaccustomed to these stakes. Tworooks sistersays she doesn't want to deal that big a game, and also she has a macrame class in an hour (this is 10.00 am Sunday).
He gets on the phone to his friend in rotary, and 20 mins later, a dealer arrrives from Towson. I buy in for the Max, 1k, and then this happens

I open with KQ for $200 and my opponent, Walter, calls. The flop is Q73 and I lead for $400, he makes it $10,000, and I push. We did this a couple orbits back and he folded. The board was KK8 (I had KQ there too. It seems I only ever get dealt KQ) and he showed an 8 when he folded.

Anyway, he calls, and the turn came an ace and the river came a flush and MHWG. The very next hand he raised to $200 in the SB, I called in the BB 5d4d. The flop was 268 with two diamonds and he check raised my $400 bet to $1000 and I put him in for all his moneys. He thought for a while before calling, the turn was a 10 and the river was a 7 and I had just ran $2200 into $11000 in two hands.

I snap off a few bluffs, take a shortstack player out and get paid off and run it into $43,000. I tip the dealer 2k

It is now 1.20 AM monday, and I wanna play some dice - plus my parole officer says I gotta be be home by 3.am, so I take my mobneys up to the cage (well, the TwoRooks goes to wake his mom) and she just says that if I give her my Party name and stuff, she will send the mobneys tomorrow.

Sucks man - hope she sends it, right?

can't this topic get locked.

can't this poster be killed?

Bump

I hope someone will bump this

i am looking to take a trip to tworooks game and have a couple questions.
1) is his sister hot/easy?
2) do they take monopoly money
3) do the donkeys stab you when u take their monies
4) i'm not a big fan of jack in the box, do they comp arbys
5) do they spread any cockfights and/or midget wrestling
6) do they have a bbj? maybe i'll get a handjob from tworooks mom when a 14yr old with adhd beats my quad aces with 25o sf on the river
7) lol tworooksisamoronicdouchebagidiot******forthinkinga nyonewillevertakehimseriousaments

bump +1

Hot no, easy yes

Pit games yes, Poker room no. Not sure why

They used to, but thankfully Tworooks paid two seniors from HS to work security. Once you leave the door, however, you're on your own.

Sorry, menu is non-negotiable

Sat and Sun, back yard, til 2 AM

Aside from the "bad beatings" you'll take from those HSers, no

Is that a hint of jealosy I dectect? Failed at making your own casino eh?


Cody

This has got to be the longest running post ever, I still laugh ever time I see this

I thought this got locked, any ways did anyone actually find out if he did get this going or has he responded to it in a while.

i think he got banned

Back on page two of this post, we determined that he's either living it up in Columbia after making millions through his home casino or his mommy grounded him.

I hear his mom is hot though...

You know, its always comforting to see this thread still going on the rare occasions that I visit this forum.

bump

Stop the bumping this has to be one of the funniest/stupidest post of all time. Can't we just lock it up.

you n00bs, this thread can never be locked

this is my first post ever on this website. when i read this post i knew i had to join this site just for the simple fact i needed to follow this thread.

one of the greatest threads ever...

my opinion is we should start a foundation that all of us can make donations to, this would help pay for all the cost of starting his casino and one last thing...

"if you set it up, I will fly out from Virginia to play. I promise."

i will use my miles to fly us both

This thread should be stickied, not locked.

You've got balls dude. Unless you live in a major city (and maybe even then) you can plan on getting raided eventually. I know you said that you didn't want to hear about the legal stuff. I point it out because it may be a good idea to keep the majority of the money off-site. Also, you could let your best customers, after they have proven that they are long time customers that can be trusted, play on credit. This also keeps the impact of a raid to a minimum. The underground card rooms of NY after being raided and reraided went to an almost exclusive credit system. Worth looking into.
Another idea would be instead of taking a rake, charge time for the seats in the ring games. It is only slightly less profitable than a rake, the players love it because they know up front what they have to make to beat the charge, and legally it sounds better than a rake.
Dealers are a touchy subject for a couple of reasons. One, dealers talk. People talk about their jobs! Your customers on the other hand have it in their best interest to keep their mouthes shut. The less people that know about your ventures the better. Two, it is one more expense. And three, you have to deal with disgruntled employees. Again, the Mayfair Club, which was the model for the club in Rounders, had a "deal you own" setup (as did most of the other underground card rooms). It just works better.
Hope this helped. Good luck in your ventures.

Oh, one more thing, as far as the food is concerned. Again, I am going to reference the Mayfair (hope I am not being iritating my mentioning it over and over, but it is a good model). Anyway, what they did was have a nice spread of food. At the end of the night, if you were stuck it was free, if you were a winner you paid. It kept everyone happy and coming back.

A classic example of why this thread is legendary.

Cody

i remember reading this thread months ago when it was only a handful of pages long...now after reading EVERY SINGLE POST...i kind of want to kill myself...or maybe the kid who started it...not sure what to think anymore...

I can't tell if this poster is joking or not. Are people still actually trying to give real answers to this thread?

I thought it had degenerated to shameless bumps, speculation as to where tworooks is now, and the debate over how hot is mom is.

Granted, this was his 7th post and he probably just wanted to hit a higher profile thread before hiding in uNL for awhile.