ITT, we post amusing PTR comments - Poker Beats Brags and Variance

I use PTR quite a bit when I see an unfamiliar player at my tables and often come across some pretty funny comments from people clearly tilting.

Don't include anyone's SN's - We don't want the fish finding 2+2

Here are some good ones:

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can confirm his penis is larger than his preflop range!

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THIS . GUY . IS . A . JOKE 5bet shove A9s and hit flush vs my AA??? some people are just born lucky, i hope for your sake you keep running this well, if not ill see you cleaning my bins

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Evidently not...you're ****ing wank

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"you arent WITH stupid. you ARE stupid!" fyp fish

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doing them ladyboys must be working out for you

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Went to dinner with this guy. Cool dude.

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had virtual sex with this guy. Jelly dude. best regards

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i seem to remember you started typing "WEEEE" when u sucked out on me which is pretty douchey, hence why i told you to go **** urself. Now for the second bit, you've lost $10k in 2 years of playing, well played you, and i had a $10k month in january (which i'm happy for you to escrow and bet against). now gtfo.

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- You're a ****er
- If i'm going to be trolled, this is how you do it ^^
- more like a unreal ******
- more like an unreal ******
- MORE LIKE an UNREAL ******
- unreal as in not real? as in not? so i am not a ******? you need to work harder on your insults, feel free to try again though. But at least you got there in the end, it only took 3 attempts to get 5 words right

Got any good ones ?

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03-24-2012 , 07:18 AM

LOL POT-ODDS

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 4,064

(all by same dude to the same dude)

-oh hey dad did you wash my underpants after i shat myself watching thunderbirds before bed at 8pm last night? really need them for tonights bum hunting session

- sniffing them out with my big bum sniffing nose, mmmm i love the stench of fresh bum on a sunday morning wafting down into my parents basement

- oh hey guys i always play on weekends because i have no friends and sit in playing nerd games and eating sandwhiches with no crusts from my shiny new lunchbox that i bought from sniffing out bums

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03-24-2012 , 07:29 AM

prat1234

banned

Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 382

Nice idea OP... cant remember any funny ones though... Rating 5* for the idea..

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03-24-2012 , 07:35 AM

MMD

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 6,553

Haha good thread.

Iv seen loads of good ones when I paid for ptr but don't bother subscribing now. Tempted to get 1k searches so I can see if I can find some.

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03-24-2012 , 07:44 AM

MrBump

WINNING

Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 6,018

You get 10 free searches / day with a free account

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03-24-2012 , 08:38 AM

kazzzz

old hand

Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 1,588

you are a ****ing moron
betting kk into trup qq

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03-24-2012 , 09:28 AM

vaz1981

adept

Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 1,190

Posting in soon to be epic thread. Voted 5* for the idea.

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03-24-2012 , 09:43 AM

Byrung

too late axe in car

Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 4,395

stinky filthy russian
blow up russia imo
**** you
ace 3, really?
communist pig
lol russians
die putin

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03-24-2012 , 12:27 PM

prat1234

banned

Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 382

found a few

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$5 to me on stars i no tell support

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40bb short donkey. Thanks for money, i´ll take ur sister out tonight. She is ugly but doing good blowjob

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i can win more moeny in less time working on Mcdonadls idiot

Last edited by prat1234; 03-24-2012 at 12:37 PM.

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03-24-2012 , 12:51 PM

#10

Tryst_

banned

Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 5,093

is trantor the troll still ptr'in?

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03-24-2012 , 02:12 PM

#11

Mark275

banned

Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 4,434

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Originally Posted by Tryst_

is trantor the troll still ptr'in?

His best one was claiming"what do i do with $12 in front of me on 2 5/nl cashgame facing a minraise when i hold AA" "should i call and get ridda it on a J109 flop where im obv beat, or shove pre and try to get folds?

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03-24-2012 , 02:21 PM

#12

MauvaisOeil

adept

Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 915

i prefer it that creative

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***** IDIOT FISH WHO HAS SPENT 40 000 $ I HOPE YOUR MOTHER WILL DIE IN TERRIBLE PAIN AND AFTER THAT SHE WILL BURN IN HELL LIKE UR SISTER FATHER WIFE CHILDREN, UR A SON OF ***** BITCH SON OF CHIT

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03-24-2012 , 11:06 PM

#13

LOLRussians

old hand

Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 1,381

Some of these are genius

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03-25-2012 , 10:23 AM

#14

MauvaisOeil

adept

Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 915

^nice profile pic

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03-25-2012 , 01:12 PM

#15

Rob_10108

A GIF from God

Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 7,510

Too late, axe in car

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03-25-2012 , 02:55 PM

#16

rukiddingsme

journeyman

Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 265

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rob_10108

Too late, axe in car

Spilled my coffee on my keyboard after reading this.

Spoiler:

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03-25-2012 , 07:02 PM

#17

MrBump

WINNING

Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 6,018

Good stuff guys, keep them coming.

Here are some more:

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THIS GUY IS A BOT USED BY POKERSTARS TO FINACNE TERRORISM AND FURTHER THEIR ONE GOVERNMENT WORLD AGENDA

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3bet bigger please, 25x isnt enough

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keep calling 3bets with any2suited and get there, keep c/R any Flop with Air and get there, keep playing the way you u do and there will be one day when this ridiculous 2million hand heater is OVER... probably not today and not tomorro but one ****in day this will have an end...

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god this idiot sucks out so much its unfingreal..... you can seriously smd bro. ak vs kk and guess what, all in preflop then magic ace on the flop. congrats on having a 4leaf clover up your butt donkey.

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03-25-2012 , 07:59 PM

#18

Byrung

too late axe in car

Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 4,395

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Originally Posted by Rob_10108

Too late, axe in car

lol wp

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03-25-2012 , 09:19 PM

#19

7ylerdurd3n

old hand

Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 1,244

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lmao this tool. he has issues. ego! lol will 3bet in the blinds with any 3high cards. doesn't understand how to play plo, or poker doesn't understand position. thinks u can bluff bet lrg against...

calling stations on low limit cash plo his screen name says it all! moron with lrg ego, no skill, little idea and probably fugly, single and endowed like a pre-pubescent boy

same guy posted this on my ptr twice.

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03-25-2012 , 10:08 PM

#20

MrBump

WINNING

Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 6,018

Quote:

Originally Posted by 7ylerdurd3n

same guy posted this on my ptr twice.

lol, he mad bro

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03-25-2012 , 10:13 PM

#21

Alrighty Roo

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 16,269

Quote:

Originally Posted by 7ylerdurd3n

same guy posted this on my ptr twice.

Dude you can't be a rakeback pro grinding the micros on stars. Bonus whore or something.

Solid thread.

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03-26-2012 , 03:15 PM

#22

Mark275

banned

Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 4,434

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

go broke u stupid *******. the entire network hopes u go cliffjumping at low tide.

EAT THE YELLOW SNOW YOU FUQUP

GO PLAY IN TRAFIC @RUSHHOURR

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03-26-2012 , 03:16 PM

#23

XaQ Morphy

veteran

Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 3,022

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark275

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

go broke u stupid *******. the entire network hopes u go cliffjumping at low tide.

EAT THE YELLOW SNOW YOU FUQUP

GO PLAY IN TRAFIC @RUSHHOURR

Are those comments you posted, or comments about you?