tufat: I cannot be blasphemous, for I am The Lord Thy God!!

jasonfish: You would have a problem then, DUCY?

Vehement: jasonfish is correct. Also: put The Holy Parentheses around negative numbers.

PJo336: Thou shalt not covet thy boyfriend's penis.

T-God: So let it be done.

bubaloo: That graph makes me sad. Boomswitch granted.

More Blessings to come!

plz make every hit the green hit

thanks, God.

God,

I have got something that I would like to stick in your mouth - can you guess what it is yet?

I just wanted to know if you could make my wallet so heavy that not even you could lift it. I didnt ask for it to happen.

Hello Sir, as an Irishman - would it be possible that I got the fabled "rub of the green" or "luck of the Irish" in a $200+ online tournament one time? Thank you sir.

13th 4postle: Jerry Yang is The Devil. His winnings are the Work of Satan, and should never be worshipped. Did you not notice he was praying... DOWNWARDS???1!!

To All My Children: Shortstackers are God's creatures too, like the salmon and the trout. Please treat them with the same dignity you would treat Me. Grimstarr is the only exception. He is a Beat.

LOL MODS: Luckyjimm is a Blessed Poet and will NOT be smoted. His PLO roll will die for your sins. Repent!

More Blessings to come!

NP

hey [censored] bless me too, or i will kick your archangel in the balls.

All I ask is for online poker to have full, unfettered US access to deposits and advertising.

God I have one more question that Ive always wanted you to answer. How do I know you are not Satan "the great deceiver"? Doesnt it say in the bible that "You speak to God and Satan speaks to you." Therefore if you are speaking to me now you must be Satan, correct?

Thank you for your time.

hey god,

talked to you last night after another great night of outdraws.

I am not asking to run hot, i just want to run normal for about 3 months. I know you think that me losing my 80/20s like they are coin flips is funny but you should do it to FGators so he can have something to complain about

plz to be blessing my boomswitch oh heavenly father.

Plz to be giving me no more 50k BE stretches, help my game please.

plz allow me to run at 12bb over the next 20k hands

Me think I shall not receive your blessing given the fact I live in Holland which is the modern Sodom. Also my avatar does not help.

God, please make me run better OK TY.

EDIT: Oh, and let me get laid this weekend if you can.

Does God play dice? or just poker?

Lori

Um, no. The Bible doesn't say that. Nice try though.
Not the most amusing thread, IMO, (iHo I should say-- "In His opinion)

Think this is funny you sacrilgious piece of [censored]? Wait for the afterlife bro. I would like the real God to bless me in becoming the best poker player I can.

Sorry for the delay in answering your further prayers, my little animals, but God has been busy, lo these past few hours - pwning devilish donks @ oo/oo NL.

So now, some more Blessings:

Grasshopp3r: Elect my Faithful Servant, Ron Paul, into the office of US President, and your wish shall be granted: a great poker bounty will rain down for a thousand years.

Speel Posher: SHAZAM! Your losing streak with pair-over-pair's is at an end. Rejoice!

Smelly Glove: Your uke avatar pleases me. Boomswitch activated.

Xanta: Take up Yahtzee for $. I Bless your rolls for 6's.

jmremote: How about 24bb over the next 40k hands? It is done.

Jazzpert: Tell your Master Yang that his minions are not welcome in My holy thread. Be gone!!!!

Imrahill: Choose the form of the Poontang. ... The choice has been made.

Lori: I plays dice, just not with the Universe.

Passaman: Thank you for correcting the misguided n00b. You shall sit to My left on the Holy Pulpit.

More Blessings to come!

Permanent Uber Boomswitch if you please. Hitting at least 2 sets that hold up every 300 hands and completely stacking an equally sized stack would be the Holy Nutz! Not that I'm being particular...
Something that walks the line of super-user or huge luckbox. You know my thoughts.

boomswitch me homie