...or i will end up with a guy named daisy in the streets somewhere soon. My first +300BB downswing in minbet holdem, and it went pretty [censored] fast actually....

These are mid-stakes by the way, and i've been a consistent 2.5 BB/100 winner for the past years. The stupid thing is i've felt like i played my best poker in a long time the last couple of days, and don't feel i tilted of a single bet in this freefall. Sick sick game, i'm almost busto though since i've cashed out most of my winnings last couple of years (and spend it).

variance: i still don't know what that means

comments about minbet holdem and words of hope very much appreciated,

[x] ski hill

well that's called gravity

I think youre staring it in the eyes

The variance of a list of numbers expresses how large the differences between the list elements are. It can be defined in several ways such as the following algorithm: compute the difference between each possible pair of numbers; square the differences; compute the mean of these squares; divide this by 2. The resulting value is the variance. The squaring is done to treat negative and positive differences alike - they need to add up, rather than cancel each other. In principle, this can be done by taking the absolute values (i.e., just dropping the signs), but squaring is more convenient for mathematicians, as the squared function is differentiable for all real numbers, and the absolute value is non-differentiable at zero.

The variance increases as the differences between the numbers increase. Hence, it is a measure of dispersion. The same result could have been obtained using another process, which is the second definition: Compute the mean; subtract the mean from each number (the outcomes are called "deviations"); square the deviations; take the mean of these squares. This will have the same outcome as the first definition, with less work. The variance increases if the differences between the numbers and mean increases. Hence, the variance can also be viewed as a measure for size of the deviations from the mean. That is, it says how far away the numbers are from their mean. If the variance is small, then most numbers are close to the mean.

If the first definition is considered again with an example, then it becomes clear that something special happens. Suppose the numbers are simply 1, 2, 3, 4.

You seriously dont know how lucky you have been.

Seriously.

[x]Graph in BB
[x]OP sucks at poker
[x]OP sucks at BBV

I cannot believe that you didn't tilt off some $$$

[ ] Variance
[x] Hero folds the best hand too often
[x] Hero calls with bad hands too often
[x] ?????
[ ] Profit

[i]Edit: [x] is in fact 455BB downswing if hero still thinks hes a 2.5BB/100 winnar

[ ] skier